X Why Explained

X Why Explained

By: authordacairns

Language: en

Categories: Society, Culture, Relationships, Health, Fitness, Sexuality

Truth. Understanding. Freedom. X Why Explained turns the lights on for men who know that something is not right, who can’t understand their behaviour and feel trapped in fractional sexual addiction, suffocated by shame, isolated and confused. This podcast will help restore dignity and purity to help to make you a better, healthier man. Please feel free to contact the host with any questions, comments or other feedback you may have via email at xwhyexplained@gmail.com

Episodes

#32 A Curiousity to Me
Jan 08, 2026

This episode of X Why Explained sees host David read from his novel, Love Sick Love, discussing how discovering his father's pornography at age 11 sparked a harmful curiosity and sexual shame, contributing to viewing women as objects. He connects this early exposure and subsequent emotional turmoil to the escalation of addiction and sexual violence (citing Australian statistics). Finally, he addresses the argument against God's existence due to suffering, offering "free will" and the "purposefulness of suffering" as complex, partial explanations.

 

A Porn Recovery Program - The Freedom Fight

https://thefreedomfight.org/about/ Duration: 00:15:07

#31 It Makes me shudder
Dec 12, 2025

In this episode, David reads from Love Sick Love to analyze addiction’s emotional warning signs. He addresses the "stupidity" of self-delusion and strongly rejects modern inclusivity regarding gender and sexuality. Citing statistics on image-based abuse, he argues that pornography consumption directly fuels exploitation. He urges men to reject these norms, stop contributing to abuse, and seek recovery.

 

A Porn Recovery Program - The Freedom Fight

https://thefreedomfight.org/about/

 

Podcasts I'm listening to these days.

Today on Radio with Dr Charles Stanley

Undeceptions

Th...

Duration: 00:20:35
#30 Lustance
Nov 28, 2025

Host David reads from his novel, Love Sick Love, to explore complex male behavior. He coins "Lustance," describing the confusing mix of lust and romance, and warns that willpower alone fails against sexual addiction, urging men to seek help instead of surrendering. He cautions against "fighting to the conclusion" in harmful pursuits, stressing that determination is only admirable if the goal doesn't cause broken hearts and fractured relationships. He calls for men to step up and be better.

He highlights the difference between destructive worldly sorrow and godly sorrow which leads to repentance. Drawing on therapy and...

Duration: 00:19:25
#29 Buried under Shame
Nov 14, 2025

Host David discusses courage, defining it as acting despite fear, and shares his experience using vulnerability to overcome shame related to past sexual misconduct.

He highlights the difference between destructive worldly sorrow and godly sorrow which leads to repentance. Drawing on therapy and scripture, he explains how acknowledging shame can drive positive change, encouraging other men to seek freedom from addiction and secrets by walking in the light.

Podcasts I'm listening to these days.

Today on Radio with Dr Charles Stanley

Undeceptions

The Unplayable podcast (cricket)

The...

Duration: 00:12:48
#28 Can we part as friends?
Oct 31, 2025

In "X Why Explained #28," David explores why it's tough to remain friends with an ex, stating that sex creates a bond. He then argues that expectations are the root of relationship problems, urging men to communicate their needs and listen to their partner's. Finally, while leaving a marriage may be necessary, he challenges listeners to consider if they've truly done everything to reconcile first.

Duration: 00:00:20
#27 Easy as That
Oct 18, 2025

When conflict arises, it's easy to let arguments escalate, but exhibiting self-control means putting the "fire" out immediately. People can feel invisible and ignored, but we shouldn't intentionally choose the darkness of hiding; instead, choose the light and "see" others. Lastly, using euphemisms like a "dalliance" to minimize a wrong like cheating is simply being dishonest.

Duration: 00:16:00
#26 I'm Bored Again
Oct 03, 2025

Host David dissects the flimsy excuse of "I’m Bored Again" for bad online behavior, then discusses webcam models, urging men to view them as someone's daughter to break the cycle of objectification. He critiques the materialistic view of people as just "potential clients" based on utility. Finally, he addresses the shame of addiction, likening it to a "dog returning to its vomit" (Proverbs 26:11), offering Romans 8:1 as the Christian antidote to self-condemnation. The overall goal is to induce sorrow deep enough to lead to recovery.

Duration: 00:18:29
#25 Your thoughts are locked up inside your head
Sep 20, 2025

In the podcast episode "X Why Explained #25," host David's core message is about the importance of communication. He argues that bottling up thoughts is harmful and that sharing them, even if difficult, is crucial. He also addresses emotional manipulation, suggesting men need a strategy to handle it. A key piece of advice is for couples to write down and discuss their expectations, which he sees as the root of many marital problems. The episode concludes by noting that relationships don't fail overnight; they experience a "slow fade."

Duration: 00:21:19
#24 The Usual Trepidation
Sep 05, 2025

This podcast episode explores how problems in a marriage, like infidelity and a lack of communication, can cause a spouse to feel dread about coming home. It also discusses how romantic love can be fleeting and highlights the danger of ignoring problems until they become too big to handle.

Duration: 00:17:36
#23 A Familiar Tightrope
Aug 22, 2025

In this episode of "X Why Explained," host David discusses his journey out of pornography addiction. He explains that addiction is a "familiar tightrope" and a cycle of hurting and shame, requiring an addict to first admit they have a problem. He also touches on how men often communicate, and how a comfortable silence with a partner is a positive sign. Finally, he shares how his Christian faith helped him overcome his struggles.

Duration: 00:18:34
#22 Long Dead Roman Philosophers
Aug 08, 2025

I’m guessing you’re here because you want some answers. Either that or you’re just curious. If you’re curious, you’ll quickly get an idea of what kind of podcast this is and you’ll decided if its your cup of tea or not. I know there’s lot of competition for people’s ears and eyes. If you’re hearing looking for answers, I’m going to have to ask you to keep an open mind. I should also warn you that some of the content in this podcast may be triggering. You’ve got a problem. You know it...

Duration: 00:20:56
#21 Perhaps she thinks it's safer
Jul 25, 2025

I’m just trying to help. I reckon there are a lot of men who are really struggling with various sexual issues and they are fighting their battles alone. Maybe that’s you. I get it. The double life. The things you do in secret, hoping no one ever finds out. The shame. The cycle of addiction. I understand you. I’m not just saying it., I’ve experienced it. I’m here to help.

 

This is how I roll on X Why Explained. I read from my book Love Sick Love which is a novel I wro...

Duration: 00:14:37
#20 Something weird is going on between us
Jul 12, 2025

Maybe, you’re the bloke who’s depressed. Maybe it’s a friend of yours. Maybe a work mate. There’s only one way out of the dark pit. Look up if you can and ask for help, or each and pull someone up. I’ve had so very low times but I cant say I’ve ever suffered depression, but I acknowledge it as a debilitating condition and as much as I can, I want t be a part f the solution. This is a worthy goal as a man. Why not make it yours?

Duration: 00:23:17
19 Listen to the whole story before making up your mind
Jun 27, 2025

Even though, we all want it to be simple, life is complicated. And life is mostly about relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. X Why Explained podcast is here to help and the first step to solving a problem is identifying it. Know your enemy. How many of you know you have enemies? Unseen enemies. Let’s get into it. I’m going to read a bit from my novel, Love Sick Love, then talk about some of the issues that come up.

Duration: 00:17:59
#18 When I think of her, I’m not thinking about sex
Jun 13, 2025

Even though, we all want it to be simple, life is complicated. And life is mostly about relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. X Why Explained podcast is here to help and the first step to solving a problem is identifying it. Know your enemy. How many of you know you have enemies? Unseen enemies. Let’s get into it. I’m going to read a bit from my novel, Love Sick Love, then talk about some of the issues that come up.

Duration: 00:15:56
#17 If I Knew What She was Thinking
May 30, 2025

Author D.A.Cairns reads from his novel Love Sick Love and discusses some important issues relating to sex and relationships.

Duration: 00:15:55
#16 A Hungry Unhappiness
May 16, 2025

G’day. My name’s David. Thanks for joining me. I’m going to read to you from my novel Love Sick Love, then I’m going to talk to you about some of the stuff that comes up. Love Sick Love is fiction. It is not a true story, but it could be. It could be your story.

Duration: 00:22:34
#15 Opposites Attract
May 02, 2025

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast. (30 seconds)

Duration: 00:19:25
#14 Turning the lights on
Apr 18, 2025

Special Good Friday episode.

Usually, I read to you from my novel, Love Sick Love, but today I want to step back a bit and tell you a little of my story. Where did the novel come from? Where did this podcast come from? What’s underpinning it all? If you only ever listen to one episode of X Why Explained, make sure it’s this one.

Duration: 00:12:47
#13 Too Much Time Alone
Apr 04, 2025

X Why Explained is a podcast which aims to bring truth, light, and understanding to men in the arena of sex and relationships. In each episode author D.A. Cairns will bring challenging insights designed to help bring healing and wholeness to this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Duration: 00:16:28
#12 Two Years divorced and she still won't talk to me
Mar 21, 2025

Two years divorced and she still won’t talk to me.

I have accepted responsibility for what I did, but my ex has not. In her eyes, she is the perpetual victim and I am the everlasting villain.

It was fun while it lasted

If you like the kind of fun which is laced with anxiety and guilt. Call it fun if you like, but if you’ve had an affair, think about...was it really?

Duration: 00:15:59
#11 You were married once, right?
Mar 11, 2025

X Why Explained is about turning the lights on, speaking truth, breaking addiction.

Duration: 00:16:28
#10 Beauty is only skin deep
Feb 21, 2025

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Duration: 00:19:12
#9 Things like this only happen in movies
Feb 07, 2025

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast

Duration: 00:20:58
#8 You're as Curious as I am
Jan 24, 2025

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.  

Duration: 00:20:09
#7 I Can't Complain because I brought it on myself
Jan 10, 2025

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.  

Duration: 00:17:11
#6 There are times when I detest myself
Dec 26, 2024

X Why Explained is a podcast which aims to bring truth, light, and understanding to men in the arena of sex and relationships. In each episode author D.A. Cairns will bring challenging insights designed to help bring healing and wholeness to this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Duration: 00:14:57
#5 Blurring the line between fact and fiction
Dec 13, 2024

X Why Explained is a podcast which aims to bring truth, light, and understanding to men in the arena of sex and relationships. In each episode author D.A. Cairns will bring challenging insights designed to help bring healing and wholeness to this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Duration: 00:18:33
#4 The Danger of Discontent
Nov 29, 2024

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.  

Duration: 00:16:11
#3 Confession may be good for the soul
Nov 14, 2024

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.  

Duration: 00:16:16
#2 We make gods of all things
Oct 31, 2024

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Duration: 00:20:00
#1 an endless string of irritating necessitities
Oct 18, 2024

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.  

Duration: 00:18:14