Carl Vs Reality

Reality is a construct, but this cold I’ve had? That was very, very real. I’ve finally emerged from the duvet fortress, armed with some herbal supplements and my trusty Tascam, to go for a bit of a ramble. And by ramble, I mean both the physical act of walking through the mud and the mental act of talking absolute nonsense into a microphone.

I’m currently perched in a tree—don’t ask, it felt right at the time—somewhere about a mile and a half from civilisation. It’s freezing, I’m wearing a shacket (it’s a...

It’s been snowing in England. You know the drill: the country grinds to a halt, and we all forget how to use our legs. In this episode, I’m nursing my second cold in a month (ridiculous, I know) and pondering the sheer terror of walking on a frozen pavement. Why do we all walk in the same spot until it’s a sheet of glass? I’m 41, I can’t be doing with a broken hip just because I wanted to hear that "crunch" under my boots.

I also dive into the weird world of my subcons...

This week I talk about a tiny moment that dragged me out of a bit of a funk — I got lollipop-ladied for the very first time in my life. At 41. And honestly, it made my entire week.

From there I somehow end up diving into the world of micro-artists, including a guy in Bournemouth who makes sculptures so small he once inhaled one. I reflect on why anyone would choose a job where a single heartbeat can ruin everything, and briefly consider whether the grit in your eye might actually be a masterpiece.

It’s a ge...

This week on Carl vs Reality, I end up in a perfectly nice pub… except for the small matter of a dog repeatedly treating the place like its own personal gas chamber. Very British evening out, really — everyone pretending nothing’s happening while quietly dying inside.

After that, I fall down yet another AI rabbit hole. Not by choice, honestly — the world keeps chucking this stuff at me. This time it’s an “AI-enabled teddy bear” that managed to get itself pulled off the shelves for… well… reasons. The sort of reasons that make you stare at the wall for a sec...

Right, so this week I somehow end up drunk on halves-that-became-pints at a 90th birthday party, give myself the hiccups in the car, fall asleep under the duvet like a confused mole, and wake up next to the coldest, most perfect McPlant known to man. And then, because life likes a twist, we go down a rabbit hole about a viral Facebook post claiming a Missouri museum spent fifty years accidentally displaying a dead bloke as a wax figure. Spoiler: it’s bollocks. But the real story it’s based on? That one's even stranger. Anyway, it’s Carl vs Realit...

This week on Carl vs Reality, it’s me, the cat, and a bloke who kept a human skull for sixty years.

I’ve just moved in with my girlfriend, so I’m adjusting to life as a co-habiting man with a furry little shadow who insists on nicking my chair. There’s domestic bliss, feline diplomacy, and the art of having an argument with a cat who clearly thinks he owns the place.

Then we head to Vienna, where a tourist finally posts back a skull he stole from St Stephen’s Cathedral...

So, this week I’m talking about a Dutch bloke who got arrested for being someone he isn’t.

A poor politician called Kevin Nuijten got dragged off before a live debate because security thought he was the Vegan Streaker — a fella known for charging into events half naked with “save the animals” painted across his chest.

Turns out, wrong guy. But it’s a brilliant mix of politics, mistaken identity, and pants.

From there I go down a rabbit hole about British streaking — Mark Roberts, the world’s most prolific nudist on the move — and s...

This week I somehow ended up questioning everything — including my own height. What started as a normal conversation turned into a full existential crisis involving Penguin bars, chocolate-flavour coating, and the price of cocoa beans.

Turns out, a few of our favourite British snacks aren’t what they used to be. Some have been reformulated, relabelled, or quietly downgraded when nobody was looking. Even cheese slices have got in on the act.

From rising cocoa prices to fake ingredients, I try to make sense of what’s real, what’s not, and why we care...

This week, Carl’s been watching AI John Lennon wear hats and wondering what’s real anymore — until reality hit back in the form of a bloke who ate three kilograms of Haribo and ended up in hospital.

From deepfakes to deep regret, Carl unpacks the week’s weirdness: fake celebrities, genuine stomach pain, and why moderation might just be the only real thing left.

Plus: listener messages, coffee-based currency conversions, and Carl’s ongoing campaign to make Starbucks the new metric system.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor...

Hello! It’s the very first episode of Carl Vs Reality — where it’s just me, some coffee, and the absurdity of everyday life. In this one I chat about looking after my poorly girlfriend, accidentally spending a small fortune on takeaway coffee, and a world record that’ll make your bank account flinch. It’s a mix of daft stories, mild disbelief, and the kind of British humour you can only get from someone talking to themselves in a room.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.