The PDA Parenting Podcast
By: Amy Kotha
Language: en-us
Categories: Kids, Family, Parenting
A podcast for parents raising PDA autistic kids and teens. Real talk, personal stories, and practical tools to move from chaos to connection - hosted by parent coach Amy Kotha.
Episodes
Why Traditional Parenting Programs Don’t Work for PDA Families - and What I Do Instead
Jan 09, 2026Traditional parenting programs often don’t work for PDA families - not because parents aren’t trying hard enough, but because the structure itself creates pressure.
In this episode, I share why I stopped offering a weekly parenting class and what flexible, PDA-informed support can look like instead.
What if the problem isn’t you - or your child - but the structure of the support you’ve been offered?
In this episode, I’m sharing why I stopped offering a traditional weekly parenting class for PDA families - and what I created...
Duration: 00:08:52When Learning Shuts Down: PDA, School Trauma, and Why Traditional Education Stops Working (Part 2)
Dec 19, 2025When Learning Shuts Down: PDA, School Trauma, and Why Traditional Education Stops Working (Part 1)
Dec 17, 2025What happens when learning shuts down - at school, at home, everywhere?
In Part One of this two-part conversation, I’m joined by educator and consultant Danielle Rodda to talk about why learning becomes unsafe for so many PDA and neurodivergent kids.
In this episode, we explore:
Why compliance-based education doesn’t work for PDA nervous systemsHow school trauma and chronic pressure shut learning downWhy “more supports” still aren’t enoughThe emotional weight parents carry when nothing seems to helpThis episode is about context and permission - understanding that when learning s...
Duration: 00:41:47The “Good Mom” Myth: How PDA Parents Can Break Free from Holiday Judgment and Comparison
Dec 02, 2025The holidays hit PDA parents harder - and it’s not your fault.
In this episode, we break down why judgment, comparison, overwhelm, and the “good mom” myth intensify this time of year - and what’s really happening inside your nervous system and your child’s.
You’ll learn:
• why your child’s overwhelm triggers your own
• how identity friction fuels shame
• why holiday environments activate threat states
• the parallel process between your nervous system and theirs
• how comparison becomes a safety strategy
• the difference between belief work and crisis work
• how...
Talking About Adoption, Autism & Identity: What to Do When You’re Afraid to Get It Wrong
Nov 13, 2025In this episode, Amy explores why some kids - especially adopted, autistic, or PDA-identifying kids - avoid talking about their story, whether it’s adoption, trauma, or a new diagnosis. Using personal experiences from raising her two daughters, she explains how these conversations activate the nervous system and why avoidance is often about safety, not refusal.
You’ll learn how to share your child’s story without triggering demand avoidance, how to “drip in” information gently over time, and why honesty paired with safety builds stronger identity and self-esteem. Amy also introduces her SAFE Story Fram...
Duration: 00:17:38You Don’t Have to Fix Your Child: The Shift That Changes Everything
Nov 04, 2025In this episode, Amy speaks directly to the part of every parent that whispers, “You’ve got to fix this.”
Drawing from her own journey - from years of researching and even attending graduate school to understand her child’s behavior - she shares what she’s learned about the nervous system, safety, and why trying to “fix” our children keeps both parent and child stuck in a cycle of stress.
Listeners will hear how Amy reframed her approach to parenting a neurodivergent, PDA-profile child - and how understanding safety as the foundation for behavior can transform...
Duration: 00:14:51From Fear to Hope: Parenting Through Crisis with Compassion
Oct 13, 2025In this heartfelt episode, Amy opens up about a recent family crisis that brought her to her knees - and the quiet resilience that helped her rise again. Through personal reflection, she explores the science of co-regulation, the role of community in healing, and what clinical psychologist Dr. Matt Zakreski calls “psychological capital” - hope as something we can actively build through small acts of connection.
You’ll leave with compassion, clarity, and a practical 5-step plan for crisis moments - so you can respond with love, not fear.
Resources Mentioned:
D...
Duration: 00:38:21Why Hygiene is Hard for PDA Autistic Kids (and How Parents Can Help)
Sep 12, 2025Why is hygiene such a struggle for PDA autistic kids?
And why does pushing only make it harder?
In this episode of the PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy explores the real reasons behind resistance to toothbrushing, showering, and other daily self-care routines. You’ll learn how nervous system responses, sensory sensitivities, and demand avoidance all play a role, and why it’s never about laziness or willfulness.
Amy shares practical, creative strategies that ease the pressure, support autonomy, and restore connection - so parents can move away from shame and toward compassion.
Whether...
Duration: 00:16:28Scaffolding Through Life Transitions: Supporting PDA Teens with Safety & Collaboration
Aug 28, 2025Parenting a PDA teen means our role is always evolving - and nowhere is that more clear than during big life transitions like starting college, a first job, or moving away from home. In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha shares how scaffolding, cues of safety, and collaborative strategies can help PDA teens and young adults navigate overwhelming changes without collapsing under the weight of demands.
Drawing on neuroscience, polyvagal theory, and her own experience supporting her PDA autistic daughter as she transitioned into college life, Amy explores:
What scaffolding really means for... Duration: 00:24:13Voice, Vision, and Validation: A Conversation With Diane Gould on Empowering Neurodivergent Lives
Jul 29, 2025In this powerful episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, host Amy Kotha is joined by Diane Gould, LCSW - a veteran therapist, late-diagnosed autistic woman, and Director of PDA North America. Diane shares her personal journey to discovering her neurodivergence and how it informs her professional mission to amplify PDA awareness and advocacy across the continent.
Together, Amy and Diane dive into what it truly means for neurodivergent individuals - especially those with a PDA profile - to find their voice in a world that often misunderstands them. From school struggles and masking to identity, self-advocacy, and...
Duration: 00:46:19Life with a PDA Sibling: A Raw Conversation with Devi
Jul 17, 2025What is it really like to grow up with a sibling who has PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autism? In this powerful episode, I sit down with my daughter Devika -an autistic, ADHD teen herself - to talk about her personal experience as the sister of a PDA child. Devi shares openly about the emotional ups and downs, how family dynamics were affected, and what helped her feel seen in a home where one child needed constant support.
This heartfelt conversation touches on the invisible sibling role, neurodivergent family dynamics, and the unique challenges of being both a...
Duration: 00:42:36Supporting the Siblings of PDAers: Roles, Repair, & Real Talk
Jun 13, 2025How does growing up with a PDA sibling shape a child’s identity, needs, and voice? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha explores the often overlooked experience of siblings in families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA autism).
Drawing from her own family’s story and her experience as a parent coach, Amy shares:
How PDA shapes family dynamics and sibling rolesPersonal reflections on her daughter Devi’s journey as the sister of a PDAer
Inside the PDA Experience: Conversations With Maya on Feeling Trapped
Jun 02, 2025In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Amy is joined by her daughter Maya - who shares her lived experience as a PDA autistic teen. Together, they explore the PDA experience of feeling trapped: at school, in the medical system, and inside her own mind.
From second-grade meltdowns to high school shutdowns to hospital sensory overwhelm, Maya speaks candidly about what “feeling trapped” really means for someone with a PDA profile. Amy and Maya discuss nervous system overwhelm, the importance of autonomy, why being heard matters, and how PDAers often struggle to express what’s happening intern...
Feeling Trapped: What it's Like for PDA Kids - and Parents
Jun 02, 2025In this episode, Amy Kotha explores the powerful theme of feeling trapped - a core experience for many PDA autistic kids and a familiar reality for their parents, too. She breaks down what “trapped” looks like at different ages and shares five ways to help everyone in the family feel more free.
For PDAers, trapped doesn’t just mean physically stuck - it’s about a lack of autonomy, emotional overwhelm, and a nervous system in constant survival mode. Amy walks through how this shows up in kids, teens, and parents alike, and offers strategies to break th...
When Their Struggles Become Ours: Parenting Through the Ups and Downs
Jun 02, 2025In this reflective solo episode, Amy Kotha shares a deeply personal story about parenting her PDA daughter through a major life transition - and how her daughter’s struggles unexpectedly derailed her own plans.
Amy explores what happens when parenting a child with PDA autism pulls us off our own path and into their emotional storms. From delayed podcast launches to insights about co-regulation, enmeshment, and grace, this episode offers validation and practical wisdom for parents feeling stuck. You’ll learn how to stay grounded, reframe guilt, and remember that your needs matter too.
If this...
Duration: 00:14:00PDA & Social Masking: Understanding Hidden Struggles
Jun 02, 2025In Part 2 of our introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), host Amy Kotha explores the social characteristics that make this autism profile so complex - especially masking, fluctuating social skills, and the surprising ways demand avoidance shows up in relationships.
Amy shares personal stories and expert insights to help parents recognize common PDA traits like masking at school, social burnout, resistance to hierarchy, and people-centered obsessive behaviors. Learn how PDAers can seem socially skilled yet struggle deeply with internal demands and regulation. Understanding these patterns is key to providing brain-based, empathetic support at home.
If...
Duration: 00:20:53What Is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? A Parent's Guide
May 27, 2025In this inaugural episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, host Amy Kotha - parent coach and mom to a teen with PDA autism - introduces the concept of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Learn about the key characteristics of PDA, its impact on children's behavior, and why understanding this profile is crucial for effective parenting.
Amy shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of raising a child with PDA, shedding light on the challenges and breakthroughs along the way. This episode covers:
An overview of PDA and its distinction within the autism spectrumThe neurological underpinnings of PDA... Duration: 00:14:39