Lunchbox Envy

Who built a car out of beans? Can you put out a fire with beans? How do you measure the fartiness of a bean?

How many calories are there in a gram of uranium? What is the Sleeping Beauty diet? What do you have in common with a doughnut?

Why would you order a brick sandwich? What doe a Peekaboo Meatball taste like? What was the mysterious Third Condiment? 

One more for the road? Merry Christmas!

What is a live fish doing in your bath on Christmas Eve? Who tried to cook their turkey via electrocution? Where can you find roast reindeer on the menu?

Merry Christmas from Lunchbox Envy! 

Why would you oven bake a laptop? Which day of the week can your oven switch itself on? Who cooked himself in a bread oven just to see what would happen?

What do you get when you mix vodka with gunpowder? When will a doctor give you vodka? Who got paid in vodka?

How do you Twizzle a Turkey? Where did Ancient Spartan kids get their packed lunch from? Who used to give their schoolchildren wine?

How do you make a Frogeye Salad? When was eel on the Thanksgiving menu? Who can you call when your turkey won't defrost?  

Why does your honey have bubbles in it? How do you eat ant honey? What does purple honey taste like? 

What's the point of a bacon window? Who's using a bacon dating app? How do you make bananacon?

How do you make a Diamond Shreddie? Which cereal accidentally invented computer hacking?  Why are some cereals magnetic?

What is a Pumpkin Spice Latte really made of? How do you you sail a pumpkin? Who was Stingy Jack?

Happy Halloween! 

Why would you want a mushroom to eat you? Which country has specially-trained mushroom chemists? Was Jesus actually a mushroom? 

Who was the original King of Cool? Where are the world's dirtiest fridges? How are you using your fridge wrong?

Did a digestive break up The Beatles? Are you chomping on your Hobnobs upside down? What biscuits were on offer in the Titanic lifeboats?

How did herring nearly start World War 3? When did fish have fingers? Is there such a thing as a fish? (Yes, and it's delicious).

How can a movie be spoiled by an apple? When do apples break the sound barrier? Why are some apples better for cooking with?

What is that scum on the top of your tea? Why were the first automatic tea-making contraptions so dangerous? Are you a MIFFY or a TIFFY?

How did squirrels help invent the microwave? Why don't ants mind microwaves? What's the big problem with microwave clocks?

Dedicated to Nigella

Why shouldn't you tilt your glass when you pour a pint? Which city has an underground beer pipeline? Why did the Ancient Egyptians drink their beer through straws? 

What’s the saltiest place on Earth? How can salt win a war? And why does some salt taste like egg?!

How do they put the holes in swiss cheese? Who eats the world's hardest cheese? Why would you put Parmesan in a bank?

Which 12-year-old boy do we have to thank for all the vanilla we have today? What links vanilla to a beaver's anus? What hack lets you use your vanilla pods more than once?

How did butter cause the Catholic Reformation? Where does extra-yellow butter come from? Who wants a buttershag?

Why would you eat a cotton wool sandwich? What is an earth sandwich made of? Who once ate a $275 sandwich containing over 8000 calories? 

What on earth is a Piecaken? Why are some croissants curvy and some straight? Which pastry was invented by a literal idiot? 

With special guest Edd Kimber. 

What does the opposite of a strawberry taste like? Who liked to bathe in strawberry juice? What have strawberries got to do with a beaver's anal glands?

Happy Wimbledon everyone! Who's got room for an extra-creamy second helping this week? 

When is Dairy Milk not chocolate? Whose chocolate taste like vomit? Where can you use KitKats as postcards?

Why would you tattoo an avocado? Which bird has to vomit up the avocado stone before it can fly? How did avocados spark a row between Sainsbury's and M&S?

Who paid their rent in pizza? Where would you need a 3D-printed pizza? How do you make pizza with beer? 

What did we use olives for before we ate them? What is the SPF of olive oil? Why should Americans be suspicious of Italian olive oil?

How do you milk a potato? Can you survive on a potato-only diet? Why do potatoes make daughters-in-law cry? 

Does alcohol actually burn off when you cook with wine? Does more expensive wine actually taste better? How do you take communion in outer space?

Which is the wrong direction to cut onions in? How did Viking doctors use onions to save lives on the operating table? Why do capuchin monkeys go wild over onions?

Why might your lemon not be vegan? How does a lemon affect your empathy? Who used lemons as a contraceptive?

Why do risotto spoons have holes in them? Why do rice farmers like ducks swimming in their fields? Why are we all so scared of reheating rice?

How can you make peanuts dance? Which insect tastes great with peanut butter? Why is the most expensive jar of peanut butter the most average?

Why should you put salt in your coffee? How does caffeine actually keep us awake? And do we really have coffee to thank for The Enlightenment?

What is the deal with egg maths? What can you smuggle inside an egg? And what are green eggs actually eaten with?

A little extra morsel all about chocolate eggs. Happy Easter!

Why has space ice cream never been to space? What was the World War II substitute for ice cream? How did the Georgians make ice cream out of bread?

Why do tomatoes taste so much nicer on holiday? How is Napoleon responsible for tinned tomatoes? When do tomatoes scream?

Which peppercorn is good for popping at festivals? Who still pays rent in peppercorns? How do you make a pepper martini?

What went wrong with Beeton’s inedible macaroni? Why did Colgate once sell lasagna? Where does Bologna keep its mysterious Golden Tagliatella?

What makes sausages sausage-shaped? How can you win a duel armed only with a sausage? What is the worrying sausagey weakness in the UK’s nuclear deterrent?

WARNING - BROILERS AHEAD: How many chickens do you eat each year? What's the best way to shuck a chicken oyster? Who invented the frozen chicken?

How do you milk a flying cow? Why is it so hard to milk a moose? How have we all been duped by Big Milk?

Why do we have Alton Towers to thank for the British banana? What's the least appealing peeling technique? What's the most threatening thing you can do with a banana and a biro?

Why won't ninjas eat garlic? How could garlic breath help win a war? Does anyone actually follow the recipe-recommended amount of garlic?

Free sample anyone?