Changing Lives Podcast

Jane’s husband died. My former career ended abruptly and painfully. We share our journeys from wanting to die to creating new lives and how we help others navigate difficult transitions and age with confidence and clarity.

Join Sunday’s Zoom gathering and my “Changing Lives” community here. Get Jane’s “Gifted By Grief” book and more info about her work here.

It’s so liberating to have honest conversations like the one Julie and I had! The first monthly “Changing Lives” Zoom gathering is on Sunday, January 11 at 1 PM Central. We’ll be discussing beginnings of all kinds. Subscribe now and help create a safe, mutually supportive community!

Thanks to those who joined me live; here’s the “Hope for the Holidays” PDF I mentioned. Please share the link with anyone you know who would appreciate this free 20 page PDF of prompts, quotes, and practices I created to add light to what is a dark time for many. I also created an easier to remember link - https://bit.ly/iwanthope - and a QR code:

Halloween isn’t the only time we wear masks. We learn at a young age to mask our emotions because it’s not safe to express them. We’re told to “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” and to say we’re sorry when we’re not. We learn to hide any aspects of ourselves that other people deem unacceptable. We do what others expect us to and get attention, approval, or something else we desperately want.

I’ve worn at least three masks, which I talk about in the video:

* The expert who...

Nathalie’s I Am Alive book includes art that she created from her hospital bed while undergoing painful round-the-clock radiation treatment. She could only move her arms and feet. Oil pastels enabled her to paint emotions as layers of different colors; she then used a bamboo pencil to scratch words into them.

As she struggled to recover from that ordeal, she also struggled with depression. She wanted to die, just as I did when I experienced a severe depression a few years ago. We both found creativity (in my case, writing) and time in nature essential to ou...

At 56, I’m happily childfree. Liz is decades younger and dealing with infertility. We discuss how personal, religious, and cultural expectations about motherhood affect our mental health and our favorite places to go when we need to calm our anxious minds and nourish our spirits.

I’d love to hear about your experiences. Have you dealt with infertility? How did it affect your mental health? What challenges have you faced as a parent, as someone who has tried unsuccessfully to become a parent, or as someone who has chosen not to have children?

It sounds crazy, because it is. Allegra and I both thought that our families would be better off without us. Death by suicide seemed like the only way to escape our misery and free our loved ones from the burden of supporting us.

Thankfully, we both got professional help and chose not to end our lives. The right medication, therapy, supportive friends and family, and practices like journaling and nature walks were (and still are) essential to our recovery.

We’re sharing our stories because we know that depression’s lies can be very convincing. We k...

Swimming next to sea turtles is a spiritual experience. Making eye contact with the humpback whale that just sprayed you with its breath is memorable. And saving an animal’s life is the ultimate “feel good” experience.

I’ve been fortunate enough to do all of the above. Robin has done much more. Her wildlife conservation and rehabilitation experience is extensive and impressive, as is her advocacy work.

Enjoy the stories we share about our animal encounters, and please share yours in the comments!

P.S. We also talked about how connecting with nature h...

Some people see their religious beliefs as absolute truths. My husband Steve saw a bumper sticker today that said, “Jesus is Lord whether you believe it or not.”

Other people, including Brad and me, change our spiritual beliefs. We can’t reconcile some “truths” we used to cling to with what we’ve learned and experienced. Our spiritual journeys take unexpected turns. At first, we fear those turns are dead ends. They lead us into unfamiliar territory and we feel lost and afraid.

Over time, we learn to live with uncertainty and trust our inner compass - th...

Thanks to all who joined me live! Among other things, I talked about:

* The supportive community I’m creating, starting with Sunday’s Zoom gathering

* Melinda Blau’s awesome Wisdom Whisperers book

* Why I attend this church even though I no longer consider myself a Christian

* What I’d say to Bruce Springsteen (the second most important man in my life)

Share your thoughts in the comments, and I hope to see you this Sunday on Zoom!

I don’t claim to have all the answers or trust anyone who does. Nor do I think this Sunday’s Zoom conversation will change the world. But an honest, respectful discussion is a step in the right direction! bit.ly/changingliveszoom

No one has a perfect life or the right answers for everyone. But talking about how we each handle life’s challenges helps us all find new ways to cope and to be the change we want to see. September 7 Zoom conversation sign-up: bit.ly/changingliveszoom

As Laury wrote (and I read aloud during our conversation):

Our world, personally and globally, has been touched by danger, abuse, greed, cruelty, and volatility, and we can't wipe out the fear of being unsafe by cloaking it in deception or denial …

I think I need to surr...

Join the conversation at my September 7 Zoom gathering and connect with other people who would rather be real than perfect.

Key points from today’s conversation:

* Do what you really want to do now, because you may not be able to later

* There’s more to life than being productive or successful by society’s standards

* Do what you know is right for you regardless of what others think

* Being comfortable is not the same as being content

* No job or relationship is worth sacrificing your health and ha...

Resources mentioned: Valarie Kaur’s See No Stranger book and Revolutionary Love Project. My Changing Lives Zoom Community Gathering

Our personal wellbeing is affected by many factors. Some are beyond our control: adverse childhood experiences, unhealthy cultural norms, wars, global pandemics, etc.

But as adults we can control how we respond to events and circumstances that threaten our wellbeing. Broadly speaking, there are three possible responses.

* We can blame others and see ourselves as innocent and powerless victims.

* We can blame ourselves and decide we are weak or stupid and deserve to...

Deborah and I discuss her new novel, how writing reduces shame, toxic politics and social norms, and the healing power of supportive communities. Want to have honest conversations about things that matter? Come to my FREE Zoom gathering

Blue is 81. She’s had seven careers and lived in multiple countries. A post on her “Reinvent Your Life” Substack mentions how rough the early days of one career she started “not with a vision, with a quiet refusal to keep pretending” were.

I left my former career as a pastor for the same reason, though my refusal to pretend was not (and is not) quiet. I’m forming an online community of people who are ready to stop pretending. Register here to participate in an honest conversation on Zoom about what’s really happening in our lives and the...

Get full access to Changing Lives at wendigordon.substack.com/subscribe

Dr. Tamy and I changed our lives by embracing authenticity and vulnerability. We left our former professions (she was a plastic surgeon and I was a pastor) to become writers and coaches. We made that choice because we realized it was healthier for us and more helpful to others to share how we dealt with challenges similar to theirs than it was to keep our personal struggles private.

Personal struggles that I’ve faced and had radically honest, in-depth conversations with other people about include:

* a severe depression that lasted for more than a year an...

Sign up for free Zoom gathering at https://lu.ma/88fob8q2 for the community conversation we all need to cope with hard times and change our lives and the world!

“If you want to change the world, start with yourself.” - Mahatma Gandhi

The Soulful Sales Society* proves that sensitive, empathetic online coaches and content creators - including neurospicy ones like me - can promote and sell our offers successfully without compromising our values or wellbeing. Its founder, Ruth Poundwhite, has built a thriving business that way and helps me believe and teaches me ways I can do that, too.

Here’s what Soulful Sales Society * includes that’s helping me and could help you (the benefits currently helping me the most are in bold italics):

☑️ Monthly live sessions (all have replays): – Q&a/coaching calls with Ruth (you’ll be...

Note: The Soulful Sales Society* I mention is an amazing combination of courses, workbooks, “get it done” weeks, live calls, and other resources. It's helping me change my mindset and sell my services effectively and ethically. Join by 6/30 to save 40%! *affiliate link At 69, Gail says the best years of her life are happening now. At 56, I believe my best years are yet to come. We know that honesty and vulnerability helps us and others heal, so we don’t claim to have the “right” answers. We help people find and trust their own answers.

We’ve been told, "You’re the problem. Fix yourself so you can function normally.” But to function “normally” in a toxic culture is not healthy.Want to discuss ways to stay sane in an insane world and help create a better one? Join the “We Can Do Hard Things” chat and Zoom conversations from now - August or register here for the Sept. 7 Changing Lives Zoom Gathering. It’s free and open to the public, but seats are limited and registration is required.

Get full access to Changing Lives at wendigordon.substack.com/subscribe

“The Wisdom Whisperers: Golden Guides to a Long Life of Grit, Grace, and Laughter” is Melinda Blau’s 16th and favorite book. It’s the story of her friendships with nine “old ladies” and what each woman teaches her. It’s a fun read with interesting characters, humorous quotes, and wise insights that, at age 56, I appreciate.

Melinda and I also talk about broader issues related to aging, like age discrimination, pressures to look younger (because society equates beauty with youth and smooth, wrinkle-free skin), and negative assumptions about older people.

I’d love to know whether you...

Wendi and Nan discuss the joy and freedom of embracing your authentic self, speaking your truth, and doing what you love instead of what pleases others. Go here for Changing Lives videos, blog posts, and other helpful mental and spiritual health resources.

Ren and I discuss how the bad things in our lives and the world may seem all-consuming, but we can always find (or create) moments of beauty, goodness, and kindness. We can notice and appreciate small good things without denying that big bad things are happening.

In fact, when we pay more attention to good things, it becomes easier to cope with and do something about bad things. We are reminded that most people are kind and want to help create a better world. Witnessing or becoming aware of their kindness gives us hope, renews our spirits...

Because of their religious beliefs or society’s expectations, women often do things that endanger their health and wellbeing to please other people. Andrea Amador and I discussed some harmful beliefs that we had to reject in order to love ourselves and do what was best for us.

Did you have to reject a former belief in order to love yourself? If so, how did you do that? Please share your story in the comments!

Note: This post is audio only (with captions) due to problems with the video recording.

I recorded this for NAMI’s “In Every Story, There’s Strength” Mental Health Awareness Month campaign. One reason I began publishing Changing Lives more than three years ago was to help reduce the stigma associated with mental health conditions. Another was to share free and low-cost resources, along with tips based on my experience, to help other people who don’t know what to do or where to turn to get the help they need.

This video does both, and I hope it is shared widely and my story inspires someone else to hang in there. Life does...

A conversation about our horrible and wonderful experiences with mental health professionals, the need for a more holistic approach to mental health care, the spiritual practices that sustain us, and the peer support groups we lead to help ourselves and others.

Daria and I were successful by society’s standards. We were high achievers with graduate degrees and professional careers. She was a lawyer; I was a pastor. Our work was meaningful, but it was also all-consuming.

Ultimately, the negative effects of those careers on our mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life outweighed the benefits. We decided that the freedom to set our own schedules and spend more time with family and friends was more important than career success.

So we have started new careers at the same age many of our peers have fi...

Kara Westerman (she/her) and I discuss the memoir she is writing with her deceased husband, our evolving spiritual beliefs, our ongoing recovery and self-love journeys, and more. Zoom spiritual support group info: https://bit.ly/wearysouls

Resources mentioned during this conversation:

Wendi's "Nature + Nurture ebook (free until April 30 with coupon code “Substack”)

Lauren's "Happy & Free On Purpose" course (free until April 30 with code “Wendi”)

Wendi’s Zoom Spiritual Support Group (paid six week private group starting May 4)

laura davis and I talked about our trauma recovery journeys, how we use writing to help ourselves and others heal, politics, religion, and more. The Zoom spiritual support group I mentioned starts May 4; please share the link with anyone you know who may want to discuss spiritual issues in a safe, supportive community.

For more information about Laura’s books and retreats, see her Substack, The Writer’s Journey.

Thanks for your interest in our conversation, and please comment below to share your thoughts about what you heard (or read in the transcript).

Wendi and guest Nancy Norbeck discuss what they've learned (or unlearned) and done that has made life at 50+ better than life before age 50.

Wendi's "Spiritual Support for Weary Souls" Zoom group

Nancy's "Make Bad Art" course

Nancy's "Follow Your Curiosity" podcast with Wendi as guest

My six week Zoom Spiritual Support Group is one way to get support from people who don’t claim to know and teach the right answers. I’m passionate about creating safe spaces for honest conversations about spiritual doubts. I know how confusing and lonely it can be to reject religious beliefs because I’ve done it. And how hard it is to explain or even discuss that decision with family members and friends who still accept those beliefs as absolute truths that it is wrong to question.

So if you could use some support as you figure...

Lori Bickel and I discuss how we changed our spiritual beliefs and help other people change theirs. My next Zoom Spiritual Support Group starts May 4. Use promo code MM and join by March 30 to save $30.

My most powerful spiritual experiences weren't in churches. And I wanted to help people with spiritual questions find their own answers, not teach them the "right" answers. I still support and accompany people on spiritual journeys, but as their peer, not their pastor.

Wendi talks about why she's rejected some Christian teachings and how she helps people who question religious beliefs or leave faith communities. Wendi is a former pastor who believes Jesus taught and modeled love for everyone, especially marginalized people condemned by others.

We may not be able to stop the terrible things some people are doing or enabling, but we can choose to pay more attention to the good things other people are doing. We can choose to do what we can to make the world better, as a family I saw picking up trash at a local park did and inspired me to.

Together, we CAN change our lives and the world, even when it seems hopeless! More info on how: wendigordon.substack.com

3 ABCs for Adults Ready to Make Shifts Happen

Wendi Gordon discusses 3 ABCs she learned the hard way that helped her change her life and how others can use the ABCs to help change their lives.

A conversation with Michele Molitor, co-author of "I Am Perfectly Flawsome: How Embracing Imperfection Makes Us Better," ** about how toxic perfectionism develops and ways to overcome it.

Michele is an expert on topics like anxiety, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism. Her unique Rapid Rewiring™ approach effectively combines the science of positive psychology and neuroscience with the healing powers of somatic and mindfulness practices. This holistic approach enables many clients to achieve remarkable results in 90 days or less.

** affiliate link for paperback edition; also available in Kindle and audiobook formats on Amazon.

Changing Lives Episode 1 January 3, 2025

Meet "Changing Lives" Publisher and Mental and Spiritual Health Guide Wendi Gordon and learn about her upcoming "Spiritual Support for Weary Souls" Zoom Group.

Wendi is a former pastor who combines her professional experience ministering to people in crisis and personal experience recovery journey to help others improve their mental and spiritual health and change their lives.