The Uplift Kids Podcast

Learning how to delay gratification is perhaps more urgent than ever in a culture that gives us immediate dopamine hits on demand. As kids develop the capacity to notice their impulses and feelings without immediately acting on them, they'll develop the capacity for long-term joy and inner peace.

Listen to Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, and Michelle Larsen, marriage and family therapist associate, talk about ways to help kids surf the urge.

Kids need to feel that they're cared for and loved to develop in a healthy way. This doesn't mean that they get to do whatever they want in the home (they can't harm their siblings, for instance), but it does mean that they feel that they can have conflict without calling into question their basic worth.

Hear this episode to understand how to nurture a field of love at home — which is the foundation of the Uplift "no-prep moment" program.

One of the most frequent comments that Uplift Kids Co-founder Michelle Larson hears in her work as a therapist is “I wish I’d learned these skills years ago, when I was a kid!”

Our new no-prep program for 2026 gives you weekly moments to explore timeless skills together. Whether you’re learning how to manage big emotions, think kind thoughts, find good friends, or find your purpose, these skills are essential at any age. With this program, you’ll support each other in the journey while reducing stress in the home — and have fun along the way.

In this...

It's only by accepting what is, as it is, that we have a hope to transform into the people we most want to become. In this conversation, Amanda and Michelle tell stories from their experience in school counseling and therapy that spell out how parents can bring acceptance into the heart of the home.

Sign up now for our new no-prep program in 2026! We will be making our first price increase in 2026, so you can get a year at the current price by signing up now.

"Patch a few words together," writes Mary Oliver in her poem "Praying," "and don't try to make them elaborate. This isn't a contest, but the doorway into thanks."

Listen to hear why prayer and silence matter, regardless of belief or disbelief, and how you can find what works for you in your home.

See the full lesson: UpliftKids.org/lessons/prayer

“Actions may speak louder than words," writes the researcher Angela Duckworth, "but actions and words together send the clearest message of all.”

In this episode, Michelle Larson, marriage and family therapist associate, and Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, talk about why it's so essential for families to explore values together. When we talk about what's most important to us, we make it easier to live aligned with those values.

 One of the values that we have at Uplift Kids is helping families be intentional together, and this can look many, many different ways.

Without *some* intentional time, there can be drifting apart and a lack of meaning. So we wanted to talk about ways to be intentional.

One of the sources that we've pulled from in this episode is a book called The Intentional Family by a family therapist named William Doherty. Doherty talks about the need to balance rigidity and flexibility.

This approach — an approach that might be called a "wisdom appr...

While kids typically don't need to (or want to) talk about political policies, there are things parents can do to help them talk about differences in healthy and productive ways. In this episode, Amanda Suarez (school psychologist) and Michelle Larson (marriage and family therapist associate) give practical ideas to help kids listen and speak about what matters to them.

How do you help kids make friends in a digital age, especially when digital communication can be so fraught. Amanda, Michelle, and Jon talk about guidelines that can help parents and kids alike.

Join our parenting workshop in Utah on October 5th. We'd love to meet you in person alongside other parents interested in expansive spirituality and timeless values.

See details: https://upliftkids.org/workshop/

Amanda Suarez (school psychologist) and Michelle Larson (marriage and family therapist associate) talk about how to best help kids develop the skill of self-advocacy so they can be clear about their wants and needs.

We also announce a family day camp in Utah on October 4th. See details: https://upliftkids.org/uplift-family-day-camp/

In this episode, Amanda Suarez (school psychologist) and Michelle Larsen (marriage and family therapist associate) talk about common responses to stress and trauma — and how to develop a wise, confident, and calm response to such situations instead.

It all pairs well with our printable on the topic in our social and emotional library, found at:

UpliftKids.org/SEL

*Note that we've switched to new episodes every other week. In this episode we talk about our latest printable in our social and emotional library — a printable that outlines 6 breathing strategies that can help kids find a sense of calm throughout their lives. It's a useful way to get through an emotionally overwhelming moment at home, with friends, at school, or anywhere!

How can you help kids respond to problems instead of react to them? School psychologist Amanda Suarez and marriage and family therapist associate Michelle Larson talk about a timeless concept conveyed simply in one of our original printables that families can use at home with kids.

See our printables for members: https://upliftkids.org/social-and-emotional-skills-printables-for-kids/

In this week's episode, Uplift Kids cofounder Jon Ogden talks about our third family camp in Scholls Valley, Oregon, including some highlights from the feedback we received. Join the waitlist for next year's camp:

https://upliftkids.org/family-camp/

Jon also announces a new direction for the podcast, which will focus on exploring a new skills-based printable each week from our growing social and emotional printables page. Members have full access to these printables here:

https://upliftkids.org/social-and-emotional-skills-printables-for-kids/

Stay tuned for more printables!

In our final exploration of the book Raising Securely Attached Kids, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon talk about the need to balance warmth and structure in the home to build a trusting environment.

An excerpt, from Amanda:

 "When I think about what this could look like in a home like in the morning there could be a visual checklist of, "This is the routine. This is what we do in the morning: We wake up, we have breakfast, we brush our teeth, we put on our shoes, we pack our school bag."

So there's so...

This week Michelle (therapist associate) and Amanda (school psychologist) continue the conversation about Eli Harwood's book Raising Securely Attached Kids. They talk about a cooperation-based approach to parenting and where parents might go wrong in getting to that approach by being either too domineering or too indulgent. They also talk about reflective functioning and "good enough parenting." It's a conversation with lots of pragmatic and timeless parenting tips.

Members can join our book club on Monday, July 7th at 10am PT. (See our weekly email to register!)

Michelle, Amanda, and Jon discuss practical insights from Raising Securely Attached Kids by Eli Harwood. Hear how to experience attunement and co-regulation, giving your kids a foundation of love and generosity.

In this episode, Amanda Suarez and Jon Ogden explore one of the three frameworks we use in our conflict lesson. Use it to navigate conflict at home.

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/conflict/

Michelle returns next week, which is when we will start our conversation about Raising Securely Attached Kids by Eli Harwood.

See our writeup about our first book club for members, which focused on the book Already Free by the therapist Bruce Tift: https://upliftkids.org/blog/parenting-therapy-buddhism/

Also get ready for our next book club in a month. We'll explore Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience by Eli Harwood: https://attachmentnerd.com/books/raising-securely-attached-kids

We will resume our normal podcast next week!

Amanda and Jon talk about the concept of having kindness toward everything that arises — whether it be an emotion, a situation we can avoid, or something else. It's a timeless skill to learn as a parent and a timeless skill to teach kids.

Join us for our book club on Monday, June 2nd. If you're an Uplift member, check your email inbox to register.

Michelle interviews her friend Brenda, who attended our parenting retreat earlier this year and came away with amazing insights. Sign up for the next retreat's waitlist:

https://upliftkids.org/parenting/

Also: Members can join our book club on June 2nd! See the Sunday email for the link.

Amanda, Michelle, and Jon continue their discussion of Bruce Tift's Already Free ahead of the book club for members on Monday, June 2nd. Listen to get practical insights about how to stay with your embodied immediacy during intense parenting situations so you can respond with clarity.

In this episode we introduce the basic concepts in the book Already Free by Bruce Tift, which is our first book for the Uplift book club. Listen for practical insights to help kids know they are already free and whole — and could also use some improvement. :)

This book and conversation is perfect for exploring your own patterns and helping kids navigate theirs.

Join our book club discussion — for Uplift members — on Monday, June 2nd at 10am PT / 11am MT / 12pm CT / 1pm ET

We've wrapped up two year's worth of episodes related to the lessons in our lesson library! We hope they've been helpful for prepping to do the lessons in your home.

At this point we'll be doing a few new things with the Uplift Kids podcast, including a book club for Uplift Kids members. Join us as we explore the first book — Already Free by Bruce Tift. Stay tuned via our podcast and weekly Sunday morning emails for details about how to participate in the book club!

We'll also be doing interviews on this podcast as wel...

When we break the cycle of shame, we can express ourselves more freely and better connect with the people we love.

Note that there are many definitions and approaches to shame. In this lesson, we follow leading psychologists, including university professor Brené Brown, who says that shame is the “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

At Uplift Kids, we take an expansive approach to spirituality and values, and our approach to Easter is no different. Whether you tell the traditional Easter story or focus on the more metaphorical and universal aspects of the holiday, our Easter lesson can help you make the most of the holiday's many layers. Listen for insights you can use at home, and use our Easter lesson for pragmatic resources for this holiday.

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/easter/

In this episode, Michelle Larson interviews a longtime friend named Heidi about her experiences using Uplift Kids. If you're looking for ideas about how to have conversations about life's most important topics, this episode can help you see and enjoy new possibilities.

Do your kids ever feel overwhelmed by failure? How can you help them view the experience as an essential part of the learning process? In this discussion, Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, talks about how to help kids deal with failure.

Members can see the full lesson at:

UpliftKids.org/lessons/failure

How do you help kids understand the physiological and emotional components of addiction? How do you help them understand the different effects that different substances can have on the body? In this episode, Michelle Larson, marriage and family therapy associate, and Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, share their direct insights about how to best help kids with this tricky topic.

See our full lesson for members:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/addiction/

How do you have healthy, positive conversations with your kids about sex? We explore that question in this episode. See our full lesson on the topic (for members):

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/sexuality-conversation/

James Ure has done almost all 100+ of our main Uplift lessons and has fabulous insights about how families can use the program — or just have makeshift conversations about the topics that matter most — at home. He's also the co-director of Uplift family camp alongside Elizabeth Seeley, who have also started a teen camp together. Use the code Uplift100 for $100 off the teen camp at TheMojoVillage.com. (Uplift doesn't get any financial compensation for this — we're just trying to spread the word about causes we care about!)

Listen to this episode to hear how you can have regular conversa...

Elizabeth Seeley, co-director of Uplift Kids family camp, talks about her unique approach to doing Uplift lessons at home — an approach that starts with chocolate tasting and ends with open conversation. Hear ideas about how to do Uplift lessons, as well as Elizabeth's thoughts about family camp and a new project she's involved with for teens looking to explore an expansive approach to spirituality.

Kids can feel deep grief when they lose something, when they move, when a friendship ends, or when someone close to them passes away. How can you help them navigate these feelings? In this episode, school psychologist Amanda Suarez, marriage and family therapy associate Michelle Larsen, and curriculum creator Jon Ogden talk about the ways to help kids navigate these big feelings.

Need strategies to help your kids work through difficult situations with a coping skills toolbox. Hear practices that have worked with the kids Amanda Suarez works with as a school psychologist and that Michelle Larsen works with as a therapist.

Members can see the full lesson at:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/coping-skills-toolbox/

In this episode, Uplift Cofounder Jon Ogden is joined by Jordan Harmon, a dialectical behavioral therapist who leads workshops for parents. Jordan attended our recent 3-day parenting retreat in Oregon where he told a story about how certain insights he gleaned from his work as a therapist helped his son manage his angry outbursts. Hear Jordan tell this powerful story, which can help you with similar issues at home.

If you're interested, you can also join Jordan's online parenting workshops by filling out this form: https://tinyurl.com/27t93akv

We just wrapped up our second parenting retreat at Scholls Valley Lodge, just outside of Portland, Oregon, and learned so much from the wonderful parents who attended. In this episode we discuss one small part of the experience, which focused on spiritual practices that families can try at home.

Kids (and grownups!) sometimes get fixated on certain tasks, or they get distracted by open awareness — both of which can relate to the spectrum of autistic tendencies and ADHD. In this conversation, we explore how to help kids who lean in either direction (or a combination of the two).

How can you help kids find something they care about, something they're good at, something that's needed, and something they can get paid for? It takes balance and persistent but gentle guidance. This episode explores how to do it well so that kids join an ongoing and ever-changing human conversation.

How do you help your kid build a sense of determination to achieve their lifelong dreams and goals? How do you help them see when they might want to ease off and take a break?

This week we explore the polarity of bearing down and easing up, in line with our member lesson on grit. Use the lesson to explore the concept in your home:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/grit

How do you help kids find the inner courage to act on their values without spilling over into recklessness? How do you help them practice caution without spilling over into paralysis?

In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon give practical insights about striking a blend between courage and caution — helping kids and parents find wisdom.

At Uplift Kids, we talk about learning how to align with our inner compass and helping kids do the same. But how do we balance our inner authority with useful insight from external authority — from people who are experts in their field or who have lived long lives and have something to share from it?

This conversation pairs with our lesson on listening to your inner compass:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/inner-compass

"Actions may speak louder than words," writes the psychology professor Angela Duckworth, "but actions and words *together* send the clearest message of all."

Uplift Kids helps families helps families strike a balance of warmth and structure — a balance that parenting researchers says is critical to familial wellbeing. In this episode, we explore why talking about values at home matters and different ways you can do it.

In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon share ways to approach the holidays that can transcend and include a variety of beliefs and approaches. If you find yourself wondering how to make Christmas work when so many people disagree about beliefs, get some ideas here and in our Christmas mini-lesson:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/christmas/

Setting aside time to reflect on the year creates space for gratitude, celebration, and growth. This episode helps listeners prepare for our new year-in-review lesson in our lesson library, which gives families simple activities to remember the successes and failures of the year.

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/looking-back

The ancient philosophy of Stoicism urges us to focus on what we can control and to not worry about what we cannot control. It's an insight that has tremendous value in therapy, counseling, and at home. Listen to this episode to see how to put this insight to use.

"Rituals play very important functions in human societies," writes Dimitris Xygalatas, author of Ritual: How Seemingly Senseless Acts Make Life Worth Living. "They help individuals through their anxieties, connect to one another. They help people find meaning in their lives.”

In this episode we explore how rituals can help kids feel a sense of stability and connection.

How do you navigate potential disagreement with family members during Thanksgiving? How do you create an atmosphere of gratitude? We explore these questions and also demonstrate how you can use sentence stems during the Thanksgiving meal — found in our Thanksgiving mini-lesson:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/thanksgiving/

Regardless of belief or disbelief, having regular time to express intentions, gratitude, and awe can deepen wellbeing. In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon explore different ways to approach prayer and meditation, including attuning to your wisest self, and how the essence of prayer can be helpful for spiritual health — again, regardless of belief or disbelief.

When we don’t place limits on our abilities, we’re able to grow through challenges. Hear how having a growth mindset can help kids learn at school.

See the lesson: https://upliftkids.org/lessons/growth-mindset

We recently held a 3-day parenting workshop in Scholls Valley, Oregon with 20 parents including ourselves. The experience was marvelous and transformative, so we'll be offering another workshop at the same place from Friday, Jan 31st to Sunday, Feb 2nd.

See details and apply: https://upliftkids.org/parenting

We'd love have you join!

(Note that we recorded this episode in person after the workshop, and we apologize for the subpar audio.)

Connecting with grandparents can be good for the wellbeing of kids, parents, and grandparents alike — so long as that connection isn't centered around difference and judgment. This episode explores examples of relationships with grandparents that work well and why these relationships matter.

See the lesson for members, which contains questions and prompts that can help grandkids connect with their grandparents:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/grandparents/

What do you do if your kid doesn't have a clear sense for what does and doesn't count as appropriate language? In this podcast episode we talk about firsthand experiences with helping kids make sense of rules that can feel confusing.

When we deal with lonely feelings and prioritize time with family, friends, and community we live happier and healthier lives.

This episode gives suggestions for grownups and kids alike when it comes to dealing with feelings of loneliness.

When we know about proper boundaries, we feel safe and empowered. If we know our no, we can know our yes.

See the lesson (for members):

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/consent/

"Conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach," writes high school teacher Paul Barnwell. How do we help kids of all ages learn the art of conversation? In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon discuss a range of ideas.

See the lesson (for members):

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/conversations/

It can be helpful to name our personality traits, as long as we don’t limit ourselves to them. In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon talk about different approaches to personality tests, including how to help kids not limit themselves to a set of perceptions and respect a range of differences.

Exploring personality types can be fun! Use our lesson (for members) to get started:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/personalities/

How do you help your kids learn good manners? In this episode, Amanda Suarez (school psychologist) and Michelle Larson (marriage and family therapy associate) spell out ways to help kids and grownups alike learn and practice social skills.

See the full lesson for members:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/social-skills/

How do you help kids navigate puberty wisely? In this episode, Michelle (marriage and family therapy associate), Amanda (school psychologist), and Jon (curriculum creator) talk about how to talk about puberty with kids.

“Education is not the filling of a pail," wrote the poet William Butler Yeats "but the lighting of a fire." How do you help kids find a love of learning that can serve them throughout their whole lives? How do you this while helping kids build the discipline they'll need to overcome difficult challenges with learning?

School psychologist Amanda Suarez and marriage family therapy associate Michelle Larsen give insights about these questions, interviewed by Jon Ogden, writer and curriculum creator.

See the full lesson for members:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/education/

Crushes are part of growing up. With practice we can handle these feelings with kindness and respect for oneself and others.

Members can see the full lesson at:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/crushes

Caring for our bodies supports physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Get activities, curated videos, checklists, and more in our member lesson on hygiene:

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/hygiene/

Nature is a powerful way to restore wellbeing and reconnect — to family and to something bigger than family. In this episode, the team at Uplift Kids discusses how to make nature practice a regular part of life with kids.

Today we're talking about the intersection of psychology and spirituality — sometimes known as transpersonal psychology. Hear direct insights from Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, and Michelle, a marriage and family therapy associate, about how spirituality informs their work in helping people find meaning, purpose, and awe.

When we sing or chant together, we reduce stress and feel connected. In this discussion, Michelle, Amanda, and Jon talk about the benefits of singing together in the home and in community. See the full lesson: https://upliftkids.org/lessons/singing/

Uplift Family Camp 2024 was a success! A fun and transformational mix of games, water play, activities (sound bath, crafts, storytelling), singing, and heartfelt discussions.

Here is some of what participants had to say: 

To get on the waitlist for next year, visit upliftkids.org/fam...

It can be difficult to help kids know what's true and what's not true — especially when it comes to information online. In this episode Amanda, Michelle, and Jon talk about how our personal attitude and disposition can make a big difference to finding the truth.

Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation has sparked an international conversation about screen time. In this episode, we talk about the topic as it relates to connection and disconnection, considering both aspects together. Listen to hear ideas about how to navigate this tricky topic.

What do you do when your kid says, "I'm bored!" — and how does boredom relate to spirituality? In this episode, the Uplift team explores the best ways to navigate feelings of boredom at home.

If you're a member, check out the full lesson at: UpliftKids.org/lessons/boredom

If you're not a member, start a free two-week trial: https://upliftkids.org/join/membership

Finding the balance between structure and flexibility in the morning routine helps everyone feel prepared for whatever comes their way. In this episode, Amanda, Jon, and Michelle share their own struggles to make mornings work as well as small ways they find connection.

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/mornings/

Wisdom is when we can discern what is the best way forward, especially as it relates to two good things. It's easy to tell your kid to be kind. But what about being kind *and* honest? Wisdom is when we can discern what's appropriate in any given moment.

In this followup episode to last week's conversation about spiritual parenting, the Uplift team discusses specific ways to implement spiritual parenting at home.

See the guide at UpliftKids.org/Resources

Spiritual parenting is the practice of helping your kids connect with awe, love, and purpose. This episode explores why it matters and how to implement it at home.

See the full guide here.

We all benefit when we appreciate the beauty and complexity of our diverse minds. Hear about the direct experiences the Uplift team has had working with neurodiverse kids.

By becoming calm enough to listen to your anger, you’ll hear what it’s trying to tell you. In this episode we explore practices to navigate angry feelings in a healthy and mature way — showing how at its core, dealing with anger can be a spiritual, transformative practice.

When we know what depression is, we can be better prepared if it surfaces.

See the lesson (for members).

See the article from Drew Hansen, Uplift Cofounder.

By learning to work with our feelings, we can better connected to life. (Note that this lesson is a followup to our lesson on naming emotions.)

Get our free Uplift emotions chart: https://upliftkids.org/emotions

Access our full lesson library here: https://upliftkids.org/join/membership

In this episode, Amanda Suarez (school psychologist and conscious parenting coach) and Michelle Larsen (marriage and family therapy associate) talk to Jon Ogden about how kids can learn to name and feel all emotions instead of pushing them away.

This episode is slightly longer and showcases a change in our approach. We'll be iterating even more in future episodes!

Here is our emotions chart: https://upliftkids.org/emotions

And here is the lesson: https://upliftkids.org/lessons/naming-emotions/

Attachment to material possessions clutters our lives and distracts from what brings joy. In this episode, Amanda Suarez, school psychologist, and Michelle Larson, marriage and family therapy associate, talk about materialism, minimalism, and trends — and how spiritual health can help us live more fully.

By making your home a place where discussions about spirituality feel safe, you open the possibility for more profound moments of connection.

Knowing the patterns of life can help us grow with grace. Hear how to help kids set out on an "adventure" of learning and growth and give them a deeper sense of inner confidence.

Remembering our past challenges can help us through our current ones.

We feel more free and whole when we’re consistently honest. In this episode, the Uplift Team discusses how to explore honesty together in a balanced (gentle and firm) way.

When we’re aware of what’s present, we make better choices about how we live our life. In this discussion, the Uplift Team discusses mindful strategies including the technique of see, hear, feel.

When we have true curiosity we are less judgmental of ourselves and others. In this episode we talk about how to curious alongside kids as well as how to be curious with ourselves — and how both approaches lead to love.

When we feel and alleviate the suffering of others, we find meaning and happiness in life. This lesson contains scenarios, activities, and curated videos that highlight the power of compassion.

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/compassion/

Mindful eating is a wisdom practice that can help us be in tune with our bodies, enjoy meals more fully, and draw closer together.

When we focus on our breath, we reduce stress and lay the foundation for additional meditation techniques. In this episode, we talk about ways to engage kids in meditative techniques — even without ever using the word "meditation." If you're interested in exploring a meditative practice of your own, we recommend the checking out the podcast Mindfulness+ by meditation teacher Thomas McConkie.

When we reflect deeply on wisdom, we awaken to a sense of fullness and wonder in life. In this episode we talk about wisdom texts from around the world as well as a wisdom approach to texts — a practice that might be thought of as devotional reading, wisdom reading, scripture study, sacred reading, or something else. The goal is to celebrate words that open the heart.

When we’re free from distraction and able to focus, we learn more effectively and live more fully.

When we practice deliberately and achieve our heart’s desire, we experience deep joy. Explore how to improve our thoughts and behavior.

When we stick with something we care about, even through difficulty or boredom, we develop grit.

When we practice courage we learn how to stand up for ourselves and other people. We might still feel fear, but we can put our courage in front of that fear.

Each of us has unique strengths. Before we can give them to the world, we must find and develop them.

By setting intentions and creating the right plans and systems, we can get what we want.

When we cultivate hope we can navigate hard times without despair. As Amanda Suarez says, "When I think about the way real deep transcendent hope shows up, it's a fundamental trust in life — that life will support us, that life will hold us through the ups and downs. So deep hope really has no object. There's no need for a certain outcome. There's no need to reach a certain place."

https://upliftkids.org/lessons/hope/

Always treat others with dignity and kindness — especially those who are least fortunate. In this episode, Amanda, Michelle, and Jon talk about personal experiences with kindness and how kindness and achievement go hand in hand.

By reflecting on what makes us feel alive, we discover purpose in life and improve our well-being. This episode explores how to find many purposes depending on what makes you feel alive.

When we give, we feel closer to others and to our highest self.

Humility is courageous. It opens the door to learning and growth. In this episode we explore ways to help kids see that humility is the opposite of self-loathing or self-boasting. It's the key to growth.

In the daily grind of life, we can lose sight of what we have, not realizing the magic that each moment offers. Gratitude helps us love what's here.