The Private School Leader Podcast

I listen to a lot of Sports Talk Radio. At this time of year, the NFL playoffs give everyone a lot to talk about. But, after the Super Bowl, the hosts of the local and national shows have to try pretty hard to manufacture topics.

Inevitably, one of the hosts will start talking about the GOAT in every sport. Of course, GOAT stands for the Greatest Of All Time.

In my opinion, the GOATs in the four major sports are Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Mario Lemieux and Babe Ruth. That said, I think that Shohei...

On January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia Airport, bound for Charlotte. Just 94 seconds after takeoff, the plane struck a flock of geese.

Both engines failed, at just under 3,000 feet, over one of the most densely populated cities in the world.

Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger had just seconds to make a decision. Try to turn back to LaGuardia? Try to make it to Teterboro airport in New Jersey?

Or do something no one had ever successfully done before, land a commercial jet in the Hudson River? 

A little over four minut...

If you watch TV between Christmas day and New Year’s Day, you will see a lot of commercials for gym memberships. In fact, if you watch the New Year’s Eve coverage from Times Square, you will immediately notice that Planet Fitness is the exclusive sponsor of the big ball drop.

Of course, gym memberships are being advertised because the most common New Year’s resolution is to get in better shape. Unfortunately, most studies show that around 80% of New Year’s resolutions never make it to February 1.

I strongly believe that your 2026 can be drama...

If you have listened to even a few episodes of this podcast, you know that I like lists. It might be “The 4 Strategies To…” or “The 5 Secrets Of…”, but I love to organize my thoughts into lists.

I especially love “Year-End Top 10 Lists”, like: the top 10 movies of the year or the top 10 books or TV shows of the year. With that in mind, I have looked back over the last 52 episodes and pulled out what I think are the best leadership strategies, quotes or phrases.

On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, we are go...

We all have pet peeves. For some reason, most of mine tend to happen at the grocery store.

It bugs me when the person in front of me has 35 items in the “10 items or fewer” lane or when someone is walking really slowly or taking up the entire aisle with their cart.

My latest pet peeve has to do with the ubiquitous pop up ads that appear anytime I am trying to read something online. Even worse, the X to close the ad seems to be getting much smaller than it used to be.

Pe...

On June 21, 1985, a domestic flight in Norway (Braathens SAFE Flight 139) was hijacked mid-flight. The aircraft was a Boeing 737, carrying 121 people (116 passengers and 5 crew.) 

The hijacker had an air gun that looked real, and claimed that he had planted explosives on board. His demands: speak to the Prime Minister of Norway and the Minister of Justice of Norway.

Everyone remained calm and the incident ended with zero injuries and zero fatalities. According to the report that followed the investigation, “the peaceful resolution came about because of calm, competent handling by the crew and authorities, safe negotiation, and...

Back in the summer of 2021, one of my daughters was driving a Chevy CRUZE with over 110,000 miles on the odometer. She needed to trade it in and get a more updated used car, with less miles on it.

We found a car that she liked and got a car wash on the way to the used car lot. We vacuumed the inside and even paid extra to get the shiny stuff sprayed on the tires. It looked great! Unfortunately, on our drive to the used car lot, the check engine lights started coming on, one by one.<...

A little bit of fire, under control, is a good thing.

Unfortunately, fire isn’t always under control. In just the past few years, the wildfires in Maui and Pacific Palisades, California caused utte...

Do you have any fragile kids at your school? 

This is a very common problem in private schools. Some of the children at our schools have been told all of the...

I know that the title of today’s episode is a little bizarre, but just trust me. I promise, by the end of this episode, you’re going to see how the heroes from The Hunger Games and Star Wars can help your school save tens of thousands of dollars every year.

I want you to imagine that every gas station in your town, except one, suddenly started charging $28 a gallon instead of $4. Would you drive across town to buy the cheaper gas? Yes!

What if every pizza joint in town, except one, started selling larg...

I was a private school leader for 33 years.

When I think back on some of my favorite things about my job, a few things immediately come to mind:

When I think about my least favorite thing about my job, the first thing that comes to mind is when I...

I want you to use your imagination.

Imagine that you are a stick figure. Now imagine that this stick figure has a sponge for a heart.

You go through your day and your sponge keeps absorbing other people’s emotions. The grumpy board member on the phone. The teacher who is upset that his curriculum hasn’t arrived yet. The parent that is in your office tears. The new student who is sitting alone at lunch.

By 3:00PM, your sponge is getting pretty full. Unfortunately, you have a 3:00PM meeting with “that pa...

What do the following four things have in common?

They are all examples of frameworks.

Frameworks give us structure. They give us a clear guide on how to do something, but leave a little room for interpretation. As private school leaders we use dozens of frameworks every day, like the bell schedule or the student handbook or your carpool dismissal procedure.

On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to give you 1 Framework That Wil...

Has this ever happened to you?

You are standing in front of your faculty about to introduce a new initiative, policy or school-wide roll out of some sort. Before you even open your mouth, you notice one of your veteran teachers seated at the back of the room. After you say your first three sentences, you notice that this veteran teacher has their arms crossed, they look upset and they are whispering to a colleague while maintaining eye contact with you.

Here we go…

Just writing those words made me feel a little we...

About 5 years ago, one of my daughters bought a 2018 Hyundai Sonata.

Before buying this car, she did a ton of research because she was looking for one very specific feature. It wasn’t the stereo system or heated seats. It had nothing to do with the engine or if the car had power windows.

She wanted a car that had blind spot detection.

I had never ridden in a car with this feature, but there are sensors on her car that light up when another car is in one of her blind spots. In...

It was Field Day 2005 and I was just trying to be helpful. I arrived at the field early and asked Mrs. Ankney if there was anything that I could do.

She asked me to use the manual line painter and paint the finish line for the 50 yard dash and the 100 yard dash. She had already set up the cones, I just needed to walk in a straight line, from cone to cone, and squeeze the handle on the line painter.

So, I painted the 50 yard dash finish line. I walked slowly and looked ahead of...

Several years ago, I was meeting with the mom of a 6th Grade boy. She looked me in the eye and said, "If you don't put my son into Pre-Algebra 6, then I'm going to pull both of my kids out of the school."

Immediately, I felt my blood pressure rise, my pulse quicken and I started to get a weird feeling in my stomach.

If I told her “no,” I ran the risk of her pulling her two children out of the school.

If I told her “yes,” I had to go and face my...

Just a heads up that the next few sentences are going to be gross.

We have all heard the phrase, “death by 1,000 cuts.” This phrase actually comes from an ancient Chinese form of execution called Lingchi, which literally translates to "slow slicing." It was a brutal and symbolic form of torture meant to inflict maximum suffering over time.

Of course, in modern language, it describes the fact that thousands of tiny stressors, annoyances, or disruptions that slowly wear you down and lead to burnout or worse. As a private school leader, you deal with these all...

Has this ever happened to you?

You are at school or at an event and you are surrounded by parents, teachers and students. You are surrounded by hundreds of people, but you feel totally isolated and profoundly alone.

I remember this happening to me one year at my school’s holiday concert. I went up to the microphone and cheerfully welcomed everyone and told them how much time their children had spent preparing for the concert. I got down from the stage and sat down near the back of the auditorium. There were probably over 700 pe...

12 years ago, Leo’s mom asked me a question. To this day, her words still send a chill down my spine. 

"So, are you saying that you have no idea where my child is right now?"

And I had to say, “That’s correct.”

It was dismissal time on the first day of school, in late August of 2013. Leo got on a bus that we thought was the correct bus. It was a small bus and Leo was the only passenger. Five minutes later another small bus pulled up to the school. That second bu...

On May 21, 2018, 19 year old Cedella Roman, a French citizen, was visiting her mother in White Rock, British Columbia. Cedella decided to go for a run on the beach and she headed south.

After running for about 30 minutes, Cedella saw two men walking towards her and they motioned for her to stop. To her surprise, they were US Border & Customs Agents. She had accidentally jogged over the border from Canada into the United States. Cedella was detained because she had no ID and, as a French citizen, no passport. 

Cedella’s mother brought the necessary documents to...

Is it just me or does it seem like more people are getting more angry, more quickly?

I am seeing people go from 0-100 in 2.2 seconds over things that didn’t used to be that big of a deal, like:

Not a big deal, right? Yet you and I know that all of the above cause some people to turn into ranting and ra...

If you have listened to even one episode of this podcast, you know that I really like to talk about a few leadership traits that are super important for you to be successful as a private school leader. especially:

But what if I told you that there is a very important leadership trait that most leaders neglect and it is actually holding you back? This trait makes you:

About 3 years ago, the 5th grade boys at my school were obsessed with juggling. I don’t know how it started, but about half of them were juggling all the time, especially at recess. I remember thinking: “That looks really difficult.” 

Recently, I have been thinking about how a professional juggler is like a private school leader. Sometimes we say, “I’m juggling a lot right now” or we refer to how we are “juggling our priorities.” I've even heard people say, "I have a lot of balls in the air right now."

As a private school lea...

A 2016 Harvard Business Review study found that 58% of employees reported they would trust a stranger more than their own boss. 

Yikes!

Just let that sink in for a minute. More than half of American employees say that they trust a complete stranger more than they trust their own boss. This isn’t a “trust gap”, this is more like a “trust Grand Canyon!”

We all want to build trust with our teachers and staff. We certainly want them to trust us way more than a complete stranger. The big question is: “how?”

On today’s ep...

I would like to ask you three questions:

As private school leaders, most of us have various parts of our school culture that we want to improve. Perhaps, you want your teachers to have higher morale and actually enjoy spending time together. Maybe you want your hallways to be filled with the sounds of excited and engaged students learning important things while having fun. 

The culture that you w...

I want you to use your imagination. You and two colleagues from your school are going to an educational conference in another city. You decide to go a day early and visit two private schools in that area.

In the morning, you visit a big school with a beautiful campus, strong academics, 20 sports teams and cutting-edge technology in every classroom. It seems like an amazing school, but within ten minutes of walking the halls, you feel like something is off.

The front office staff barely looked up when you arrived. Teachers kept their doors closed...

At my local Walmart, the same thing happens every year, during the week after the 4th of July. They start putting out all of the “Back To School” items in their seasonal section. 

Just a week before, this section was filled with beach towels, flip-flops and sunscreen and now it is full of notebooks, folders and pencil cases. I don’t know about you, but I usually spend the rest of July actively avoiding the "Back To School” section because it feels like summer just started!

Depending on where you live, there is a wide range of...

I want you to use your imagination. Pretend you are at school. For the entire morning, you are wearing glasses that make everything very blurry. 

Around noon, someone hands you glasses with a perfect prescription and you can see everything SUPER clearly. I am guessing that the second half of your day will go much better than the first half.

Private school leaders have a big problem when it comes to seeing clearly at school. The problem is called the “tyranny of the urgent.” When you are playing whack-a-mole, with one hand and operating a fire...

When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with the Indy 500. 

Why? Well, my Grandma lived one hour south of Indianapolis and my great Uncle Harry actually helped build the engine for one of the race cars back in the 1930’s.

The winner of the very first Indy 500 was Ray Harroun, way back in 1911. At that time, race cars had a driver that faced forward and a mechanic that faced backwards. The mechanic would tinker with the engine during the race and yell to the driver about what the race cars behind him were doi...

My daughter is a birdkeeper at the Jacksonville Zoo. She gets to work with some pretty amazing birds and do some really cool things. One day, a few months ago, I got a text from her along with three pictures of her and three other keepers wrestling/relocating an alligator! I’m pretty sure that’s NOT her area…

I want you to imagine that you are visiting a zoo with your family:

I want you to think back to your first job.

Was it McDonald’s or another fast food place? Maybe it was as a cashier at a grocery store or babysitting or camp counselor or washing cars at a car dealership.

Now, I want you to think about your first boss.

Was that boss grumpy, short-tempered and kind of mean?

Or was that boss kind, encouraging and patient?

We have all had a lot of bosses in our lives. There are a lot of bosses in this world. There ar...

In July of 2021, the summer Olympics were taking place in Tokyo, one year after being cancelled by the COVID-19 pandemic. You may remember that Simone Biles withdrew from the gymnastics competition citing mental health issues, especially anxiety. 

Her openness about her mental health struggles brought a lot of media attention and other athletes and entertainers felt more comfortable talking about their mental health issues. From Michael Phelps to Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande, more and more celebrities were speaking up and trying to reduce the stigma attached to discussing mental health challenges.

Unfortunately, many private s...

Back in October of 2023, I recorded Episode 53 of this podcast: “5 Powerful Leadership Lessons From Atomic Habits”. Since then, that episode has become one of the most downloaded episodes in the history of the podcast.

The popularity of that episode has nothing to do with me and everything to do with James Clear’s amazing book. Atomic Habits is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time with over 20 million copies sold and it has been translated into over 60 languages.

Not only is this book the definitive guide for building better habits through small, consistent changes, it also c...

One of the most famous opening lines in classic literature is, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Do you remember the book?  If you guessed A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, then you were probably paying attention during your Middle School Language Arts class.

As you read this, your school year is winding down and your summer plans are on the near horizon. Summer can be the best of times and the worst of times to get things done and get “caught up” as a private school leader.<...

“My son doesn’t lie.” “My daughter would never do that.” “My child has gotten straight A’s since Kindergarten, so if he got a C it is clearly a problem with the teacher.” “He’s only acting this way because he is bored.”

It is so frustrating when a parent gets out their “blamethrower” and blames the teacher, the test, the principal, the classmates, and says that the rules in the handbook are too strict.

We can throw up our hands and say “Oh Well!” Or we can learn more about defensive parenting and what to do about it. On today’s episod...

Whenever the word “emergency” is in the title of something, you probably hope that you don’t ever need to use it. Emergency Room. Emergency Exit. Emergency Fund. Emergency Brake.

I hope that you have never had to pull the emergency brake while driving because that means you’ve tried everything else to stop your car. Your emergency brake is always your last resort.

Your body also has an “emergency brake”. It will stop you when you are going too fast for too long. When your body pulls the emergency brake it usually looks and feels like u...

Has this ever happened to you?

If this has happened to you, you know what it feels like to b...

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average age of a Head of School in America is 52 years old. That means a lot of private school leaders have parents in their 70’s and 80’s.

My mom was 86 when she passed in 2013. My dad was 92 when he passed in 2021. Both of my parents needed a lot of care in the years before they passed and my siblings and I carried a complex mix of stress, guilt and anxiety. We also tried to navigate the often confusing and exhausting list of doctor’s appointments, mobility issues and end-of...

During the early 1990’s, I coached boys varsity basketball at the school that I led. At the time, we didn’t have a full-size Gym on campus, so we rented a Gym that was a 15 minute drive from our school. One Friday night, after the last game, we were all filing out of the Gym and I noticed one of the referees standing on the sidewalk and he looked really upset.

I said, “Is everything OK?”

The referee replied, “Someone stole my car during the game.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever had your ca...

For 33 years, I did the same thing almost every day. I came home from school and immediately started venting to my wife about my day as a private school leader.

I am ashamed to say, it wasn’t until after I retired, that I stopped to think about how doing that every day made my wife feel. All those years of me venting and complaining and all those years of her listening and trying to make me feel better. 

Recently, I asked my wife, “What impact did all of that have on you?” Here’s what she...

When I was a kid, I learned the following poem:

30 days has September, April, June and November.

All the rest have 31, except for February, it’s the one

Which only has 28 days clear, And 29 in each Leap Year.

Unfortunately, there is a big fat lie hiding in this poem. May actually has 100 days. Well, at least it feels that way in our private schools with all of the: banquets, ceremonies, dances, concerts, teacher observations, final exams, field trips and Graduation.

It is easy to go into survival mode during “The...

I want to know if any of these statements describe a typical day at school for you:

If that sounds like your typical day, then...

Where I live, we get to experience all four seasons. Right now the first signs of spring are popping up all around me.

We have some very distinct seasons at our private schools:

We also have another season at our schools in late March and early April. It’s my least favorite season of the year. I refer to it as "Tough Conversation Season.”

This is usually the time of year when we have to have some difficult conversations. We may need...

I want you to picture a bright pink elephant riding a unicycle.

Now, I want you to stop thinking about it. Just stop. Don’t think about it anymore.

That worked about as well as you trying not to think about that upset parent that is living rent-free in your head. You know which parent I’m talking about. They are not just visiting your house. They backed the U-Haul up to your house and moved all of their furniture into your living room. 

Not good. The bad news is that they have moved...

Has this ever happened to you?

Unfortunately, you have come down with a case of the “Sunday Scaries.”

According to a recent survey from LinkedIn, 66% of all employees regularly feel this way on Sunday evenin...

I am a huge fan of 80’s movies. Some of my favorites are Rocky 4, Back To The Future, Ghostbusters, Die Hard, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Top Gun.

However, I am not a fan of scary movies. In fact, two of my least favorite words are “jump scare”

From 2008-2012, the 5 movies in the Twilight franchise grossed more than $1.3 billion. I didn’t want to, but I went with my wife to every single one of those movies. Even though the Twilight franchise was more romance novel than slasher horror flick, those vampires still really fre...

You have probably heard the saying, “No two days the same". This is an accurate description of your job as a private school leader. I used to say to my family, “I go to school to see what’s going to happen”. 

While our days are very unpredictable, I have found that some days during the school year are actually very predictable. For example:

I don’t know about you...

I want to tell you something about myself. I am not a fan of social media.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I can definitely zone out while scrolling through reels on Instagram.

The algorithm will always keep sending me videos of dachshunds, basketball highlights, drone shots of the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ and clips of my favorite stand up comedians: Nate Bargatze, Sebastian Maniscalco and Jim Gaffigan.

I’m just not a fan of how social media makes people feel. A lot of comparison is happening when we see others taking that...

“Enrollment Season”

Two words that can stir up a variety of emotions in nearly every private school leader. Enrollment season can cause you to feel stress, anxiety and uncertainty. You might be thinking “here we go again” and that is going to be a real grind.

According to Independent School Management, 30–40% of private schools are currently using a continuous enrollment model or are working toward implementing this approach in the near future.

For 31 years, I was used to a very traditional model: send out enrollment contracts, remind families of the deadline, start making phone call...

We’ve all been there.

A parent is in your office and they are complaining about the school’s policies for detention or dress code or sports eligibility or the grading scale, etc, etc……..

It can get really frustrating when the school policy is in black and white in your handbook and the parent doesn’t think that these rules should apply to their child. It gets even worse when you are discussing a suspension from school or from the basketball team.

I think that part of the reason that they act this way is bec...

Technology is absolutely amazing.

Smartphones, internet, facial recognition software, AI, self-driving cars, artificial hearts, 3D printers, robots, GPS, wearable devices, the cloud and virtual reality have helped change our lives for the better.

We also know that technology comes with its share of challenges.

A parent group chat on WhatsApp, Facebook or a Smartphone can be an awesome place for sharing information about school events, giving reminders about spirit week and communicating changes to the time that the basketball team will be getting back to the school.

But, these chat groups...

I want you to use your imagination.

You are at your school and you hear laughing kids. You hear excited voices and then you see big smiles and you see happy kids doing interesting things. 

When you see and hear all of these things, are you in your office? Probably not. 

Of course some good things happen in your office, but it is mostly a place for holding meetings, responding to emails and making phone calls.

There are many joyful things happening on your campus, but you usually have to go to...

During the first week of the year, you will often see commercials for gym memberships, smoking cessation products and storage bins of all shapes and sizes. We all know why we see so many of these commercials, right?

“New year, new you!”

Many of us think that, “This will be the year that I finally get in shape, stop smoking and organize the garage!” Well, whether or not you are a fan of making new year’s resolutions, I want to give you a framework for starting the year strong and setting yourself up for a great se...

Back in the mid to late 90’s, I would get two stocking stuffers that I really liked. In my Christmas stocking, I would receive the special, year end editions of Sports Illustrated and People magazine. 

These special editions would be full of Top 10 lists from the best movies, pop songs and TV shows to the best athletes, teams and biggest comebacks from that particular year. I know that magazines are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but I love Top 10 lists so much that I hope that they live on forever.

At the end of...

If you could pick one superpower, what would it be?

A recent survey asked people to name their most desirable superpower and the top ten results were: Invisibility, Teleportation, Mind Reading, Super Strength, Time Travel, Healing/Regeneration, Flight, Super Intelligence, Super Speed and Telekinesis.

The superpower that I want the most is Teleportation. Just imagine being in a meeting with a grumpy parent and you could teleport yourself to your favorite beach!

Well, as much as I wish that I could grant you the ability to read minds or travel through time, I...

Has this ever happened to you?

You get a text from a teacher that says, “Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk?”

Or maybe a teacher appears at your door and asks, “Can I talk to you?”

Your heart drops because you know why they want to talk to you. They won’t be coming back next year.

Why does it have to be this way? You pour yourself into your teachers. You work so hard and then it seems like they leave anyway. It feels really discouraging and frustratin...

Today’s episode is going to feel like a trip to the dentist.

We usually don’t want to go and we try to avoid it. When we finally do go it is usually pretty uncomfortable.

We may want to avoid talking about this. It will definitely be uncomfortable to discuss, but it is a very, very important topic.

We are facing an invisible threat. It is just as real as water on the Gym floor or a jagged piece of metal on the monkey bars. Even though we can’t see it, we nee...

Picture this. The coach of your favorite NFL team is having his post-game press conference. Your quarterback just threw four interceptions, including one that very likely cost your team the win. 

When your coach is asked about the quarterback’s interceptions, you already know what he is going to say. “This loss is on me. I need to do a better job getting everyone ready to play. I need to put him in a better position so that he doesn’t have to try to make those throws.” He will take responsibility publicly and have a conversation with the...

Being a great leader is pretty straightforward.

It is NOT easy. It is a lot of hard work. Day after day, week after week. That said, some people think that being a great leader is a huge mystery or a big secret.

OK, I’ll play along. On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to share The 4 Secrets To Being A Great Leader.

Mark Minkus

Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and...

In my 33 year career as a private school leader, I can look back on many challenging moments and many joyful moments.

There was a stretch of about 15 years that was extremely challenging and extremely joyful. Those were the years when I was the Head of School and my daughters were students.

You might remember Episode 16: When Your Children Attend The School That You Lead. That episode focused on you as the leader. Today, I want to shift the focus to your children. On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, we are going to...

par·a·dox

/ˈperəˌdäks/, noun

a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true

As school leaders, we often face a paradox in parent expectations: 

So, why does this happen, and how can we, a...

“Our research shows that, fundamentally, people want the same things, no matter what generation they represent. So the so-called generation gap in the workplace is, in large part, the result of miscommunication and misunderstanding, fueled by common insecurities and the desire for clout. Successfully leading across generations is actually pretty straightforward.”

Jennifer Deal, former Senior Research Scientist, Center for Creative Leadership

Fundamentally, people want the same things.

Our private schools often have a wonderful mix of Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X and Boomers. While they may have their differences, they all want to feel...

We have all been there. We’ve all had moments where stress seems to take over and we react in ways we regret later. 

It might be raising your voice at a teacher or student. It might be overreacting during an argument with a loved one. 

Later, we usually have regrets and we ask ourselves, “WHY DID I DO THAT?” This is often due to something called an amygdala hijack, a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence. 

We have stressful jobs. The stakes are high. So many people are watchi...

Has this ever happened to you?

Feeling this way is very normal. 

School leaders have a bias towards action. 

School leaders are known for solving problems quickly and efficiently.

I want to tell you somethin...

A 2022 study by the National Center for Education Statistics found that nearly 40% of private schools reported facing some form of legal action in the past five years.

Of all lawsuits filed against schools, 90% of them are settled out of court. That means that it no longer matters whether or not the person filing the lawsuit has enough evidence to “win”. What matters is if they can find an attorney that will take the case.

These two statistics mean that more private school leaders are dealing with more lawsuits than ever before. Litigation is time consuming, stre...

In 1975, Craig Trounce was a store associate at a Nordstrom store in Fairbanks, Alaska. 

One day, Craig noticed a customer rolling a pair of tires into the store. When Craig asked how he could help, the customer asked to return the tires, insisting that he bought them at that very location with a guarantee that he could bring them back to the store at any time.  

Just one problem: Nordstorm doesn’t sell tires. What Craig Trounce did next has given Nordstrom nearly 50 years of free publicity about their unmatched level of customer service. In fact...

I love motivational and inspirational quotes.

My favorite quote is from Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel.”

Words have the power to inspire and motivate us. Unfortunately, words can also discourage us and make us feel hopeless. Some words are toxic. On today’s episode of the Private School Leader Podcast, we are going to discuss The 4 Most Toxic Quotes In Private School Leadership.

I hope that you will listen to the podcast for your weekly dose o...

Unrelenting.

It means, “not letting up or weakening in vigor or pace” and it’s synonyms are: unforgiving, unsparing, ruthless, cruel, unyielding, merciless

Stress.

Stress is anything that requires our internal systems to burn energy to maintain some kind of internal balance.

Unrelenting stress? For private school leaders it includes: upset parents, needy teachers, struggling students, facilities, finance, fundraising, athletics, curriculum, the board, transportation, retention, budget, admissions, marketing, payroll, discipline issues…. And the list goes on and on.

On today’s episode of the PSLP, we are going to discuss Th...

So, I want to ask you a question about something that you do several times each day.

Let’s say that you are out and about in the school, walking around, solving problems, handling student issues, talking to teachers and maybe attending a meeting. So here’s the question: When you finally come back to your office and sit down at your desk, what is the first thing that you do?

About 90% of private school leaders do the same thing. They open their inbox and respond to a few emails. 

There are some very...

I want to ask you a question. 

Are the parents at your school happy?

I can hear what you are thinking: “It depends on which parent, the time of day, depends on if report cards just came out, if their kid is getting enough playing time on the soccer team, etc., etc.”

So, let me ask you an easier question. Do you want happier parents?
Of course you do!

On today’s episode of the Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to tell you how you can have happier parents...

Do you have any bad habits? 

I know that I do! I Googled “most common bad habits” and this is what I found:

Bad habits

Bad habits are REALLY hard to break. We know that we shouldn’t do “the thing” and we know all the research and we all know that we really SHOULD stop doing it.

As leaders, we sometimes have bad habits as we lead our school. On today’s episode...

I want to hit you with two quotes:

You have likely heard these quotes before. But, I wonder if you have ever heard this quote from Brene Brown:

"Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. It's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis."

Do you know the difference between “healthy striving” and perfectionism?

Does perfe...

You are in danger right now.

The problem is that the danger is invisible.

The threat is real. You could end up in the hospital with physical problems or mental health issues.

The threat is real. Your relationships with your loved ones are at risk.

What is this invisible threat?

The prevailing hustle culture in America.

Here are just a few of the popular sayings associated with the hustle culture:

I want you to use your imagination.

I want you to think about two different prospective parents: Asher and Amanda.

Asher lives in Albuquerque, NM and is moving to your city for work. Asher and his wife want to check out the private schools in your area. They have three children enrolled in a private school in Albuquerque.

Amanda is a single parent and lives within 10 miles of your school. She has two children (1st & 3rd grade). Amanda has grown unhappy with the public school system and wants to look into private schools...

I want you to use your imagination.

I want you to think about two different prospective parents: Asher and Amanda.

Asher lives in Albuquerque, NM and is moving to your city for work. Asher and his wife want to check out the private schools in your area. They have three children enrolled in a private school in Albuquerque.

Amanda is a single parent and lives within 10 miles of your school. She has two children (1st & 3rd grade). Amanda has grown unhappy with the public school system and wants to look into private schools...

I call it the “August Apology”.

I will be sitting at my desk in early August and a teacher walks into my office. They say something like, “I never thought that I would do this, but…..”

Then they proceed to tell me that they have taken a job at another school. Typically, it is for more pay and better benefits and it makes logical sense for this teacher to take that job. 

That said, an “August Apology” is not about logic for private school leaders. It is usually all about emotions. It starts with a sinking...

We all have them. Difficult teachers.

I wonder if you have an “Underminer” or an “On The Job Retiree”.

Behaviors of Underminers

Behaviors of On-the-Job Retirees

Have you ever seen a shepherd leading a flock of sheep?

I have never seen it in person, but I have seen this happen on a documentary or two. It is amazing to see how hundreds of sheep follow one person using just their voice and a wooden staff. The shepherd helps the flock travel long distances, find new areas to graze, avoid danger and return home safely.

Recently, I have been struck by the role of a shepherd and how similar it is to a successful school leader.

On today’s Private Sc...

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”    Jerry Seinfeld

I see it happen every year on Back To School Night. Amazing, highly skilled teachers melt into a puddle of goo when they have to get up in front of a group of parents to give a presentation.

These same teachers can successfully manage a room full of 7th Grad...

Understandably, a lot of people are wary of artificial intelligence.

That is probably because we don’t understand it, we worry about it replacing human workers, wrestle with the ethical concerns, are concerned about the erosion of important skills in our students, not to mention the existential fears of AI surpassing human intelligence.

All of those are valid things to study, consider and discuss. That said, I want to challenge you to think about how AI, specifically ChatGPT, can make your life easier.

On today's episode of the Private School Leader Podcast, we ar...

The best selling leadership book in the world is The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell.

Over the last three episodes of the podcast, we have been taking a look at the 21 Laws and applying them to your life as a private school leader. To wrap up this series, we will do the same with laws 15-21:

Than...

I am doing something that I have never done before on the podcast.

I am doing a three episode series on The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell. Last week, we took a look at Laws 1-7 and I applied them to your life as a private school leader.

This week we will do the same with laws 8-14:

Law 8: The Law of Intuition

Law 9: The Law of Magnetism

Law 10: The Law of Connection

Law 11: Law of the Inner Circle

Law 12: The Law of...

In May of 1998, I was struggling.

I was wrapping up my seventh year as a Head of School and I was feeling very rundown from all of the demands of the board, the teachers, the parents and the students. My leadership needed a boost. I needed a boost.

That summer, I discovered The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell and it was exactly what I needed. This book is full of common sense, wisdom, strategies and leadership laws that work. This book changed the way that I lead and, quite frankly, this book changed...

I have been a private school leader for 32 years.

I have read a lot of books about leadership, private school leadership and leadership in the corporate world. Many of them are very valuable for private school leaders to read.

But, what if I had to pick just one?

There is only one book that I would say that EVERY private school leader in the world should read.

Let me say that again: There is only one book that I would say that EVERY private school leader in the world should read.<...

We all have so many things that we need to do during the summer.

First, we have to wrap up the school year that just ended by meeting with teachers, finishing off report cards and sending out achievement test scores. 

Then, we immediately need to start getting ready for next year by hiring teachers, ordering curriculum, finalizing the master schedule and supervising the summer cleaning projects.

It is very easy to get lost in the long list of things that we MUST do this summer, but we often forget about the things that w...

When I get home from an event at school, my wife always asks me the same question. “How did it go?”

I usually say the same thing. “It went really well!”

Then she always says the same thing. “Well, that is worth celebrating. You put in the same amount of work if the event goes well or if it is a disaster.”

This is such an important reminder for every private school leader. We are so busy putting out fires that we rarely pause when something goes really well. We are all about next, next...

I strongly believe that the most important trait of a successful private school leader is integrity. 

I think that resilience is a close second.

The word “resilience” has an extremely interesting definition: “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after exposure to compressive stress.” 

Think of yourself like a NERF football. Someone squeezes and twists it and then lets it go. The NERF football immediately springs back to its original size and shape. 

As a private school leader, you are under “compressive stress” all day long. I am worried th...

It’s that time of year.

You are likely having your year-end conversations with your teachers. Most of them will be positive and upbeat, but a few of them will be difficult.

Perhaps you need to speak with one or more of your teachers about performance issues like poor classroom management, not updating the online gradebook, avoiding parents, unkind interactions with colleagues or other unmet expectations. 

At this time of year, the difficult conversations don’t even have to be performance related. Perhaps you need your Kindergarten teacher to teach 3rd Grade this fall...

Does the number 1,440 mean anything to you?

What about the number 86,400?

Well, we each get exactly 1,440 minutes a day.

We each get exactly 86,400 seconds a day.

As private school leaders, we are so busy. We never have enough hours in the day. We are always trying to catch up. Most of the time, our days are ruled by the tyranny of the urgent.

Well, I can’t give you more than 24 hours in a day. But, I can do the next best thing. On today’s episode of the Priva...

George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

As Private School Leaders, effective communication has never been more important. It has also never been more difficult.

One effective framework that private school leaders can adopt to improve communication with parents is the “7-38-55 rule.”

The 7-38-55 rule, formulated by UCLA psychologist Albert Mehrabian in 1967, suggests that 7 percent of communication is conveyed by our words, 38 percent comes via our tone of voice, and 55 percent comes through body language.

On today’s episode...

I’m going to tell you something that you already know.

You have a VERY stressful job.

You must respond to every email, return every phone call, attend every meeting, handle every discipline problem, keep everyone safe, motivate and inspire every teacher, retain every student, beat last year’s test scores, come in under budget, keep every board member happy and keep every parent happy.

We all know about our built-in stress response: “fight or flight”. The problem is that “fight or flight” is meant to help you during a short term, intense period of st...

The first stop sign is said to have been erected in Detroit, Michigan in 1915. It was a simple, square, wooden sign with the word "STOP" painted in white letters on a black background. 

The sign was designed to control traffic at a particularly dangerous intersection where several accidents had occurred.

Far too often, stop signs are erected at intersections after someone has gotten seriously or injured in an accident. There are now millions of red, octagonal stop signs all over North America. 

As private school leaders, we try our best to be proactive an...

I love a good oxymoron.

Of course, you know that an oxymoron is a figure of speech that pairs two opposing words.

Plastic silverware, Unbiased opinion, Minor miracle, Controlled chaos, Original copy, Near miss, Minor catastrophe, Seriously funny, Small crowd, and my all time favorite oxymoron: jumbo shrimp!

As private school leaders, our jobs are often accurately described by an oxymoron:

“Isolation in a Fishbowl”

We experience loneliness and isolation as we quietly lead our schools. We are often required to make private decisions with public consequences and then suff...

I want to start today’s episode by asking you to use your imagination.

First, I need you to think of “that parent”. The one that immediately came to mind will be part of the following scenario:

I apologize for sending a chill down your spine. I can hear what you are saying...

There is an old saying: “You can’t judge a book by its cover”.

Of course, we understand the meaning. When we meet a person for the first time, we should not make snap judgments about them by their outward appearance.

I get it. But, let’s be honest. We do this every day.

Some of us used to do it on a Friday night at Blockbuster Video. Most of us do it when we check out the thumbnail images on Netflix, Amazon and YouTube. When we go to the Library or a bookstor...

I’ve never really been a big fan of strategy games. Games like Connect 4, Battleship, Chess and Risk don’t really interest me. Maybe it is because of all of the strategic thinking and problem solving that I do at school. Maybe my brain needs a break.

As private school leaders, it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day. That is just the nature of our job. They “tryanny of the urgent”, “no two days the same” and “playing whack-a-mole with your hair on fire” are phrases that probably describe your typical day at school.<...

I love ice cream.

My favorite flavor is Cow Patty (a mix of chocolate ice cream, chocolate chip, peanut butter and brownie cookie doughs and pieces of chocolate-covered sugar cone), which is a specialty flavor at a dairy near my house.

But, there’s an old saying, “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” A double scoop cone of ice cream on a warm summer night is a good thing. Eating a gallon of ice cream and feeling really sick is a bad thing.

The same thing is true about social...

Your day starts before your alarm goes off.

You wake up early because you are stressed out about a meeting that you have that afternoon.

Your phone starts dinging with texts from two teachers calling off sick.

The snow has stopped, but the parking lot needs to be plowed. 

You are going to open on time, but the guy that plows your parking lot just called and says that his truck has a dead battery.

You haven’t even left your house yet and you are thinking “Here we go ag...

Sometimes I think that adults and children aren't all that different.

Kids and adults both crave predictability and support, but we also like to have fun.

Adults want people to listen to us when we talk. Kids do too.

Adults are happiest when we feel safe.

That's true for kids too.

You may have heard of The 4 S's of Secure Attachment, by Daniel Siegel, as explained in his book The Power of Showing Up

Kids want to feel safe, seen, soothed and secure. Adults are not that...