Tests From The Future

Not many roads remain in the future, but of those that do we've a tale to tell; about why they're still here when the rest are long dusted, and what creatures claimed them and prospered so well.

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Chapters

00:00 - Preview

00:25 - Hello

00:49 - Introduction

02:10 - Old Roads

15:15 - Listener Email from RaniaRania

Most robots live forever and, in a few rare cases, some humans do too. What does that mean for your daily life? What do you mean when you say "See you later"? Do you still get a pension? And what's on your bucket list? In this episode we'll clarify all of that and more.

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Chapters

00:00 - Preview

00:15 - Hello<...

Now that humanity is venturing out into the galaxy a bit more, it may be a good time to rework Earth's Unique Selling Points a little bit. What's so special about our own little home planet? For that purpose the UFOPOO held a survey among a group of aliens and in this episode we discuss the results. Compared to the rest of the universe, how does Earth stand out? Is it our shape? Is it that we're rotating around a star? Or is it that we have bunnies?

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Bit by bit the LMAO is revealing the program of the Space Tour and one of the stops will be the rather unique Radio Star. Besides the fact that you can listen to it from Earth, it has quite a few other peculiar features. On top of that, it's Solstice today and we got each other presents!

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Chapters

00:00 - Preview

What happens to the main course when the appetiser and desert are much bigger than expected? It gets moved to next week! Today we don't actually talk about the thing that we wanted to talk about, but instead get carried away by the new Space Tour trailer. And then there's a poll! And then there's a long listener email!

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Chapters

00:00...

We've received quite a few emails about this topic over the last four years and after more than 200 episodes maybe it is indeed time for us to talk about dating in the 23rd century. Besides our usual chit-chat about using teleporters to fetch that forgotten bouquet of flowers while pretending to go to the bathroom, we also dive a little deeper into why people date and what types of relationship exist in the future. We even reveal a tiny bit more about our personal lives!

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Oxygen Absorbers were one of the more interesting items on the Space Tour packing list, and we took today's visit to Bad City as an opportunity to go shopping for them already. We ended up buying several different batches at a good price and in today's episode we'll tell you what they are, how you use them, and why a planet made of velcro would be particularly exciting in this context.

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We don't know where it came from, but suddenly everybody needs to have a Televator! So we borrowed one from Simon's new neighbour, and familiarise you (and ourselves) with the device during today's episode. We also have some slight followup to last week's episode at the start and more information about sentient birds at the end. So there's really something for everybody this time!

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Imagine the following: you go somewhere that's not very habitable; you lay down the small suitcase you brought along; and then you push a button by its handle. Within seconds a highly sophisticated condo appears! Totally transparent, a little bit bouncy, and very much cutting edge, meet the so-called Bubble Condo. And if the actual topic isn't already something to be joyous about, wait until you learn how we heard about it!

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Everybody flap your hands! Or your arms rather! To create a quarter-gravity-field! So that you can fly! Sounds like a lot of effort for something you can also do with… less effort? Sure, but using a Flutterby is simply a lot more fun! In this episode we discuss the ins and outs of this rather eccentric piece of technology and also answer a listener, who inquired after the fate of certain 21st century gadgets, such as pencils and doggy bags.

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Four years ago, our first episode reached the 21st century! To commemorate that occasion Dirk's Personal 'A.I.' Assistant Mr. Dobalina agreed to ask us a bunch of questions - some that we suggested and others that he contributed himself. Get ready for a peek behind the curtain of Tests From The Future, a short political discussion, and of course another poetry reading by the interviewer himself!

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Is it a trend? A craze? A statement? Or the secret ploy of some big corporation? The fact is that kids have recently started going around galvanizing things at night. Park benches, street lights, pigeons, that sort of thing. What do we think about that? How useful is it? And what do we do with the zincsprayer that Dirk brought? World.

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Chapters

To stimulate sales for fast space travel, they're giving away the first tour for free. Count us in! On today's episode we fill in the application form and also reveal some of the things we know about the tour. How big is the ship? Are we allergic to nuts and bolts? And can we bring pets? Also, totally unrelated, what's a zoo swap?

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...

After spending several days in this rented hangar, building our own Starfury, we present our somewhat mixed results. We do actually explain what a Starfury is at some point, but not before we tell you all about our current location, its features and its neighbours. And we don't shy away from admitting that we actually couldn't get the thing to work. Maybe we should've used the Allen Wrench more?

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Once a child, now a grownup. Once bestowed with superpowers, now still bestowed with superpowers. How is life as a former child superhero? How applicable are superpowers to 23rd century every day life? And how do you even find out that you can breathe underground? In this episode we dissect the life of another 23rd century celebrity, and also give you a quick update on Simon's life as a Person of Leisure.

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We're doing it again! We both take up opposite positions on the spectrum between shapeshifting and skinwalking. Which is best? Which one of us has the most convincing arguments? Which one of us folds first? And which one of us gets distracted first and talks about lamp posts, LEGO, symmetrical pizzas and company meetings? Spoiler for that last bit; both of us!

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Chapters<...

They finished the ReCreation on the ground floor of Simon's building, so we decided to take a look. ReCreations are specifically aimed at robots, so we made sure to go with a few of our robot friends. We'll talk about the grand opening, discuss some of the services they offer, and speculate about which of the services could theoretically apply to humans too. Also, we reveal the perfect trick to get rid of an earworm!

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Simon got the keys to a very unique apartment in his building. What's special about it is that nobody has been seen entering or leaving the place for almost 200 years. We'll take you on a tour past dust, cobwebs, bulky computers and piles of crumbling newspapers. Now we know how 21st century people lived!

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:24 - Introduction<...

Simon won some last minute tickets to the Pinball Star Track, and he didn't even know he'd entered the lottery! We queue up outside the stadium and record our anticipatory experience. What's a Pinball Star Track race like? What do the other spectators look like? And who wants some nuts? And, not unimportantly, why do they split the queue?

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Chapters

00:00...

Well, it sure has been a week to remember! We're still trying to solve the case from last week, but there have been some developments that have put quite a different spin on the whole thing. In this episode we explain everything that's happened since you last heard us. You'll hear more about bulgur and less about rabid dogs. And you'll sure find out why the Luminati weren't as worried as we were! We even watch some more camera recordings live on the show to see if they help us solve the case…

To confirm this episode we...

This episode is not for the faint of heart! It contains words like blood, murder, brain damage and pencil case. Why is that? Unfortunately, in a future that is almost free of crime, a murdered alien gets a whole lot of attention. And because there was no such thing as an intergalactic police force, the UFOPOO assigned the case to Dirk, and Dirk asked Simon to help him investigate. In this episode we go over all the clues we have so far and discuss all the 'persons of interest'. But first we talk about what's currently parked on Dirk's...

Spontaneous recording! Dirk is at a UFO showroom, looking at all kinds of different models, and decides to record by himself. And half the hosts means half the length! How does the showroom look? Which models are there? What happens when you press that button? That sort of stuff.

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:24 - Introduction

00:49 - UFO Showroom<...

Dirk kept today's topic a secret for Simon, so it's not just you, the listener, who gets to be surprised. But yes, there are animals in space. Because… why not? If they can survive on land, in the ocean and in the sky, then why not in space? It's just that humanity only discovered the first species after we started exploring and colonising the solar system. We'll highlight some of the species today and thanks to a listener email, we also learn about 'our' Spotify playlist (testsfromthefuture.com/spotify). Pretty cool!

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What would you do when strange and energetic messages arrive from a massive energy source far away in space? Well… first of all, that's probably a question that nobody's ever asked you before. And second, you obviously try to use them to power up your favorite device! We'll explain what happens when you actually try that, while at the same time speculating about what the true content of these messages might be.

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Happy Bird Day to you, dear listener! Because of this wonderful day, we dedicated a whole episode to these fascinating creatures. Attentive listeners may even remember that 'Birds From The Future' was one of our original (discarded) ideas for the podcast. We explain why birds had a bit of an accelerated "evolution" and also highlight some of our favourite future birds. And - let's call it a bonus - we seem to have forgotten to edit out an interruption in the middle. We should be more careful!

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What sounds like a made up future thing, is in reality a pretty amazing experience. And Simon got to try it out! In this episode we explain the difference between tiny and super-tiny, tell you how it feels to be shrunk so much that you can't keep all your body parts, and describe what it looks like when you see somebody doing some actual Neutrino Surfing. At the end we also highlight a few other things you can do when you're super-tiny. Hadron bouncing anyone?

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We finally got our alien friends to use one of our social networks and it probably isn't one you've heard of before! Spacebook comes with a few peculiarities, and you'll find out about all about them in this episode. You'll also learn which posts from Dirk got rejected in the past, which celebrities Simon follows on Spacebook, and the fans of Scandinavia among you will be glad to hear that not one, but two Scandinavian countries are mentioned in today's show!

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We have to be honest; even in the 23rd century, some things don't really work. Or in the case of VVF's newest hoverboard, the Hoverlord Ultimate, don't work at all. Sound effects? Foot massager? Modern design? Bright colours? All are good reasons to complain. Out loud. On air. To you. Let's go!

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:25 - Introduction

01:12...

New discoveries regularly trickle in from space and today we talk about one of the more exciting ones. It's a planet. And it's a square. And it's flat. And if you walk off on the 'left' side, you appear on the 'right' side! Sounds familiar? As you can judge from its name, it sure reminded all of us of a specific video game! Since it's a very recent discovery and it took place very far away, not a lot is known yet. Which means we get to do that thing we like the most - speculate!

To...

Imagine a large banquet hall in a French palace. Are you seeing it? Now imagine it full of tables, dinner guests, food and drinks. Yes? Now imagine the gravity is slowly reduced to zero. And now imagine us being there and making a podcast episode about it!

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:25 - Introduction

02:54 - Zero Gravity Dinner

Dirk's eKoala is working again, so we might as well talk about it! Despite Dirk not having so much time today, we do our best to explain what an eKoala is, which variations exist, and what its pros and cons are, while being regularly interrupted by the creature's very own cute mumblings. And we clear up some concerns about bees!

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Chapters

00:00...

Yes, our sleeping cabin is a little small. But the window is big. And space is even bigger! Today we'll tell you all about our experiences at the Space Rally. Which ships did we see? What merch did we get? And when will we have breakfast? That sort of thing.

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:25 - Introduction

06:28 - Space...

Think of all the things you can do in 30 seconds! Eating chocolate cookies. Taking a (short) shower. Reading a (very short) book. Now think about all the things that could happen when everybody in the world did one of those things at the same time! Well, today is the day where we actually try that in the 23rd century. And you get to hear us do it! We also share what our favorite sights in Frankfurt are.

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Simon has been going to a few monster concerts recently, and he's happy to answer Dirk's questions about them. What do the concert halls look like? What do the performers look like? What do the spectators look like? And what does the food… taste like? Also, we kind of clear up why we say hello twice, but bye bye only once!

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Chapters

Is it a hobby? Is it a sport? Is it just the latest hype? Well, we tried it out either way. Or at least Dirk did, so Simon gets to ask him about it. How does it work? Where do you practice? What about volcanic activity? And what's that thing that you put in your nostrils? All that and more in this semiaquatic episode!

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There's this one little asteroid that's been circling the earth for centuries, which we've never been able to land on. Until today maybe? We watch the livestream of ASA's current attempt and comment on whatever is going on. We have drinks and everything! Spoiler alert: you will indeed find out whether or not the mission is successful.

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

It's May the Fourth! Star Wars day! So we spent a long hot afternoon in the park, doing the usual bank holiday stuff; visiting a jumble sale, listening to music, getting our faces painted, and attaching rockets to things. True, some of those things weren't really suited to being propelled through the air, but it sure was a lot of fun!

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Chapters

Remember that virtual world? That world that was initially intended for choir practice, but is now the world's number one pastime? Today we record live from there, taking you on a small tour through the wonderful world of side quests, non-playable characters and advertisements. We also answer listener questions again. Think artificial intelligence and albino animals!

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:25...

Podluck is like potluck, but on a podcast. Which means that you get to listen to us taste randomly generated food! You won't just listen to us press buttons and describe what the food looks like, but you'll actually hear us munch on things. Expect classics, like chocolate biscuits and kinderkaffee, as well as pretty outrageous dishes, like a fishbowl canapé. Yum!

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Chapters Duration: 00:29:43

Hold on, the robots have risen up against the humans? Seriously?! That's not good. This episode is a little different than usual, starting with the fact that Dirk wakes Simon up in the middle of the night, to give him the bad news, and then follows that up with more bad news…

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:24 - Introduction

01:40...

Dirk won an Orbital Glyder in a raffle at work. We're not sure if it works, but - as usual - that doesn't stop us from talking about it! What's it supposed to do, you wonder? Well, we actually ask you that this very episode, in the form of a multiple choice question. There are some hints from the beginning, so pay attention! And as the Orbital Glyder is at Dirk's apartment, we'll record there for a change. As a nice bonus, you'll get to hear about all things chrome!

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We just had a thought. How about we turn our recent discovery into a business model? Since we can sort of time travel now, we might as well make a few 'moneys' with it. In this episode we brainstorm a little about what our trips would be like, 'when' we would be going to, and what we would call ourselves. We also talk about death! Do we allow travelers from the past to find out when they die? And what happens to their death in the past when they die in the future? Not that this would happen of...

Let's clear this up once and for all. Yes, Earth started warming up quite dramatically at the end of the 21st century. And yes, the counter measures worked so well that Earth started cooling down quite dramatically after that. But yes, we're all fine now, no need to worry! Today we'll explain exactly what happened, what WOIL and BOIL have to do with anything, and what a Sahara Iceberg is. All the hot news and all the cool details!

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If you can't see it, does it really exist? Well, if it plays music and smells of speculaas, then sure! When a Nano Sphere randomly floated into the room earlier today, we immediately closed all the doors and windows, so we could listen to it and talk about it on the show at the same time. We don't know what it is, where it comes from or why it even exists, but that hasn't stopped us taking about things before and sure isn't going to stop us now! Also, what happened to Hong Kong? Now, that we know!

Who hasn't heard of Peter the Greatest! Oh, you're from the 21st century, you say? Well, then take a seat, and listen as we tell you the story of 23rd century's last dictator. It's quite an exciting story! It has lemonade swimming pools, applause days, officially regulated anarchy, and quirky little wooden souvenirs. Get ready for a journey through one of history's most peculiar forms of government!

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We hereby declare the Pirate Games to have officially begun! Slightly similar to the Olympic Games, the Pirate Games bring together the best athletes and artists in the solar system. They show us how good they are at things like Crow's Nesting, Cannonball Putting and - obviously - Making Lemonade. We comment on the opening ceremony, mention some of our favourite games, and enjoy some word play in between. Sponsor-Ship, anyone?

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There may be other means to travel to space, but none of them are as tasty as the Jellypult. And as a bonus, the people who came up with the idea were just two simple guys, like us! Today we give you all the ins and some of the outs on the newest iteration of the Space Catapult. To complicate things a little, Dirk brought along a grumpy guest, who doesn't actually speak, but has a way of making its presence known.

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Lori Keet is a bit of a celebrity. And a robot. And a Star Catcher. And she bought QuickQuack. And she saved the rainforests. Okay, that last part was a bit exaggerated, but either way, we have a lot to talk about today. And we also briefly look back at our (after) party and answer a listener question about making money too. Will we manage to release such a busy episode on time, you're thinking? Well… It'll be ready when it's ready.

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We probably could have seen it coming, but our 200th episode is suddenly upon us! We organised a genuine party to celebrate, but we still need to come up with something to talk about in the episode itself. How about we just start recording and see what happens? We don't remember any of Mr. Dobalina's suggestions though, and we keep getting distracted by the actual party… Who just bumped into the gravity switch?

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No, we didn't resurrect someone. No, we didn't wake someone from hibernation. And no, we didn't talk to someone through some kind of interdimensional rift. This time we genuinely spoke with someone from the 21st century! Not on purpose, obviously, but we immediately saw the opportunity to hear the first impressions of someone fresh to 2225. And we revel, at least a tiny bit, in being right about this whole time travel business (#bonuspoints). Also, when we say 'we', 'we' mean just Simon - or, as our guest calls him; Future Boy.

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With Dirk on holiday, Simon decides to visit the 21st century once again. Using a smart trick, he manages to avoid being stuck in a small rural village, and gets to experience 21st century Frankfurt first hand. And, through a trick of fate, he actually bumps into the one person we know in that century. Who is that? Hint; she doesn't believe in any of this!

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A premiere for the show; for the very first time we record the podcast in the 21st century! Yes, we've done it! Although the 'rules' are pretty challenging, we wanted to give it a shot anyway. Get ready to find out everything about a small rural village in 21st century Germany at night time. Think closed bakeries, closed flower shops and closed kiosks. Luckily we meet somebody at the train station who speaks English! We wonder if they finally believed that we were from the future after we suddenly disappeared…

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Are we for real? Did Simon actually do some time traveling? Let's find out by asking him tons of questions! Where to? When to? And how did he get the sun glasses? We'll find out how he has been getting around (or not), how he has been buying things (or not) and who he has been talking to (or not). And, we end with a time travelling joke!

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Just because we have world peace, it doesn't mean we can't have superheroes! In today's episode we discuss one of them; Moustarrow. Or as they used to be called when they weren't so famous yet; Schnurrpfeil. We actually got to talk to them in person, so we have all kinds of information that even most 23rd century people don't know. And talking about information that some people don't know; at the end of the episode, Simon reveals a tiny little detail about his own life that even Dirk didn't know! And by tiny we mean huge…

To co...

It's Solstice time! Or at least it was a few days ago and that means we get to talk about all the presents we got! One of our presents involved dirt and one involved uranium. Guess which one we talk about more! Hint; it radiates light and warmth and is not dangerous at all. It does have a few weird side effects though, so the end of the episode is a little unusual.

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You've heard a lot about the 23rd century already, and you sure know your way around the 21st. But how about the 22nd century? You know, that century where alchemy was still a thing? Well, we found a book from that time, about that topic, and we try it out straight away! Who needs plastic forks anyway? Also, why is Simon late again?

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...

Is it a clone? No! Is it a doppelgänger? No! It is MMAcevedo, the world's first snapshot of a human brain. Almost two centuries old, it's been used so often that there must be hundreds of thousands of Miguels - as they are commonly known - by now. How this came to be, and what that means for us, we'll discuss in this episode. That and cheetahs.

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Since starting the show over three years ago, some of the devices we discussed in earlier episodes have changed quite a bit. The future isn't static, you know! With Solstice coming up, almost every device received an upgrade, and we'll bring you up to date on all of them. Think food conglomerators that can now make food that is safe for aliens, and submarines with creative naming schemes. It's upgrade season!

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Hello, dear 23rd century listeners! Here's your weekly podcast from the 21st century. This week we'll tell you all about how our day was. Spoiler; it involved Facebook, the Apple Store and Game of Thrones. And then we answer all your questions about 21st century food. Yes, a steak is made of a real dead animal. But no, a shepherd's pie doesn't have any real shepherd in it. Also, we explain when 21st century people manage to have a little fun. See you in 200 years!

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Nature doesn't traditionally speak for itself, so who takes its side when big decisions are made? Well… the future also found a solution for that! Say hello to the Voice of Nature. Every company and organisation has one and they have real power, not like those ethics councils! This episode isn't just about the VONs though. During the recording, we actually have somebody giving us podcasting tips and we feel all professional about it.

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66G rolled out not too long ago, and with it came many new possibilities. One of the most interesting ones is the possibility to talk directly to the afterlife. How did we handle things before? You'll find out during this episode. What are some of the remaining challenges? You'll also find that out. What did we learn about the afterlife so far? You'll kind of find out. And how does it work exactly? Well… we sort of skip over that. On the other hand, there's a robot joke at the end!

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Do you know those apartments that are really high up in a tree? Where waterfalls flow down and drones fly up? Where there are not just bathrobes in the closets, but also squirrel suits? Where other guests walk their dogs on your balcony? If you answered yes to all of those questions, you might want to consider skipping this episode. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the show!

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And there we were, thinking that our alien friends, the Luminati, were sooo perfect. As it turns out, they have been stealing our salt water all this time! As a souvenir, no less! Apparently having a planet full of salty water is pretty rare, galactically speaking. How did it get that far? How did they even do it? And has it really been three years since our first episode reached the 21st century? You'll learn all those things in this episode.

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We visited a pretty rare location; a place where archeologists have unearthed a 21st century neighbourhood, where there's a museum that displays typical artifacts from the time. Sometimes there were information labels and sometimes we guessed what was going on. Did those chicken bones in the rubbish bin really mean 21st century people ate actual chickens? How did they keep their precious asphalt from deteriorating? And what was up with all those bottle caps?

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Oh no! Against all expectations, fast space travel is getting delayed. As it turns out, we are missing one essential component, and it's nowhere to be found in our solar system. Before we figure out how to deal with that, project members are fired, new timelines are agreed on, and costs explode. In the meantime, if any of our listeners know how to get their hands on some good old fashioned hypogastrium, please let us know.

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While Simon and Dirk are away, Mr. Dobalina explains the meaning of life, how to spend your time wisely, and where the Bomp comes from.

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:20 - Introduction

00:58 - Three Questions

01:21 - Question #1

02:26 - Question #2

03:09 - Question #3

03:33 - Outroduction

03:50 - A.I. Blues

04:12...

Remember 'The Greatest Discovery' as detailed in episode 145? It wasn't aliens, America, or even peanut butter and jam sandwiches; rather it was when the Fairy Tale Folk were discovered in the Caucasus, seven years ago. Since we received many questions about these people, we decided to dedicate a full episode to this discovery. Do you want to know how they got there? Why we only discovered them so late? If they use teleporters? What kind of music Hobbits like? We've got you covered.

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Did you think that dragons were real when you were younger? As it turns out… you were right! They were real, and they can be again, and all you need to do is wait 200 years… or follow the instructions in this episode! We'll tell you the ingredients you need, what to do with them, and which challenges you might face along the way, including finding the time for these kinds of frivolities. But don't let that stop you; you may just soon be the creator of the very first 21st century dragon.

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Remember that second universe? That spontaneously started appearing recently? As it turns out, its appearance was less spontaneous and more the result of the Partians wanting to prove that they were correct. The good news is they were indeed correct! The bad news is it might just be the end of everything. Let's see if we can fix that.

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Chapters

00:00...

If there isn't a podcast episode about it, does it really exist? Well, for today's topic we don't need to worry about that anymore! And rather than just talking about it, we actually visit the (soon to be) largest skyscraper ever. We were supposed to get a guided tour of the construction site, but end up exploring it on our own, while sitting on a big robot fly. That's a first, even for us! We basically comment on what we see, interrupted by lots of background noise; it is a construction site after all!

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Enough about technology! Today it's all about the people that have a big influence on life in the 23rd century. To change things up a bit, neither the listener, nor Simon, knows up front which 5 celebrities we'll be talking about. To give away a few things though; topics that you'll hear about today include smoothies, LEGO, Star Trek and carrot carving - basically everything you can expect from a podcast from the future!

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Simon didn't show up for today's recording session and Dirk can’t even get into his apartment. So, what do 23rd century people do in such an emergency? They record a podcast episode about it! It's time to sort through the clues and speculate about different scenarios. Did somebody say pirates?

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:26 - Introduction

01:10 - My...

Simon has a mystery item on the wall, covered by a cloth. It's a Portal Window! You can map it to any other Portal Window, on Earth or elsewhere. It gives you nice views, nice smells and nice sounds. Or not so nice ones, if you're unlucky. It also opens the 'door' to many creative ideas, such as playing squash with yourself. We talk about some of these ideas, but also don't hesitate to touch upon other exciting topics, such as curtains and insect screens.

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Did you know that a Moon day lasts 28 Earth days? If that sounds like an easy calculation, you'll be surprised at how complicated things can get. For example, if you're born on the Moon, when is your birthday? Or when does the weekend start? And do they have Mondays on the Moon? What does 'down to earth' mean up there? And do we still have honeymoons in the 23rd century? Better gear up for a genre that you didn't know existed; future vocabulary!

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We actually wanted to talk some more about Globust Engines, but the news catches up with us. After Dirk noticed many Partians along the river on his way to Simon, we try to figure out what's going on, live on the show. As it turns out, Partians are relocating to Earth for the moment, while they sort out a few galactic challenges back home. We check out the cams and report what we see, and what we hear, and then we end early to go help out.

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Listening back to last week's episode on our old iPod got us a bit worried. It sounds as if we were talking about the "extinct" golden toad, which is everything but extinct. It's actually a bit of a plague. That's not the worrying part though! While we can hear our own voices, we don't actually remember saying those things. And since the plague has been around forever, the things we seem to have said don't really make much sense anyway. Either way, we implore you, our 21st century listener; please don't touch anything!

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This episode starts in Simon's apartment and ends high up in the sky above Cyprus. In between you'll hear about a mystery item, several banana peels, some incense and a campfire, while there'll be a bit of hoverboarding, teleporting, discussing campfires and, of course, we throw some water into the air. To top it all off, we read a listener email about golden toads in a place where no email has ever been read before! You know, your usual episode.

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It's not uncommon for people in temperate regions to wish summer would last longer. Well, how about we prolong the season then? Because, on a country level, that's actually possible. It has a few small challenges, especially when neighbouring countries decide not to sync up, but all in all it opens up many possibilities. Longer summers are a no-brainer, but we also give examples for some of the other seasons. And of course we wonder what they think about all of that in Azerbaijan.

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One of us got invited to join the People of Leisure program, so we take the opportunity to talk about it on the show. Through a set of AI-defined criteria, certain people are identified as being much better suited for leisure than for work. We talk about some of the criteria, as far as we've managed to figure them out, and we speculate about life as a person of leisure. We also answer a listener question about cake!

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In a few billion years, our sun might not deliver enough energy anymore. Planning ahead, a group of people, called Star Catchers, are discussing moving another star to our solar system. And they're already making prototypes! Think big ropes and lots of telekinesis. In this episode we talk about the status quo and about some of the challenges that come with moving a star. As Simon puts it: "What's going on inside a star is very different compared to what's going on inside a boat."

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Deja vu is a phenomenon of the ages. And during the ages, humanity has tried to find out what deja vu is and what causes it. Then the 23rd century came around and solved the mystery! Is it a technical or a biological phenomenon? Is it caused by alien influence or malfunctioning system updates? In this episode we'll discuss a few of the old ideas, before we reveal the real reason behind deja vu. And of course wonder how to pronounce it properly.

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To become Boss of the Place, you just need to be the person who was somewhere last. This simple application of gamification originally caused many people to explore the world and still does to this day. In this episode we explain the concept in a bit more detail and talk about our own experiences too. We also talk about shoes made out of your own skin! And we finally got to use the word "vermilion" in an episode.

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Why shop next door, when you can fly high up into the sky to a mall where things are cold and windy! After listening to this episode, you'll know exactly why. We join Marvin while he's shopping for bar supplies and we take the opportunity to sit down in the food court and record a live episode. We even got a spot next to the shuttle dock, so there's a constant flow of arriving aircraft, providing some awesome background sounds. Oh, and to top it off, we end the episode with a listener survey.

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Marvin the robot is back as a guest, co-host and topic of the week. Remember how we came up with the crazy idea of making a bar that changes location all the time? Apparently, Marvin is the kind of person that doesn't just talk about things, but actually does them too. Not needing time to sleep kind of helps with that. Before we actually visit this rather elusive bar, we take the chance to ask Marvin all about it. Where has it been so far? How does it look? Does it have cats? Is there anything to worry about...

We're not kidding! Apparently there really is a new universe emerging, right in the middle of our current one. And here we were, thinking that 'universe' was kind of meant to include everything already. In today's episode we give you the answers to a few questions you might have and then ask many more questions ourselves! Up to the point where the real new universe can only disappoint. Higgspolosion, here we go!

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You waited seven days for a whole new episode and all you got was "Artichokes"! Well, these inconspicuous little vegetables might just bear a little secret that neither you, nor we, saw coming. At least not until the aliens landed 25 years ago. We'll give a few hints; it has something to do with patterns, shopping and the difference between freshly produced and plainfully printed pizzas. Oh, and we also mention which movies we look forward to!

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Teleporters allow you to transport pretty much anywhere. And just how far this 'anywhere' goes, you'll find out in this episode. As it turns out, many a crazy location has something to do with animals. And mummies! We also talk a little bit about our experiences with dialling the wrong number and the popular teleporter feature 'I feel lucky'.

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Chapters

00:00...

They have roughly eight arms, enjoy a good conversation, and often live in ceiling fans. That's right, it's BackRubbots! And in this episode you'll find out all about them. What kinds are there? We'll let you know! Do we like them? We'll let you know! What do starfish have to do with them? We'll let you know! And what about minotaurs? We'll let you… uhm… no, that's nonsense.

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We have to 'face' the truth in this episode. The rock faces that we've known all our lives apparently weren't around in the 21st century. There are thousands of these massive rock heads scattered throughout the landscape, so they really couldn't have been overlooked. In this episode, we try to figure out what happened, without getting 'ahead' of ourselves. To make it even more interesting, Marvin joins us again, but this time as a co-host! 'Rock' on!

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After more than two years, it was about time! We finally have a robot on the show. And it's even one that we didn't know until last week. After meeting him at the European Portal Triathlon, we asked Marvin if he wouldn't mind answering some questions on air. And he wouldn't! So, if you want to find out what it's like to be surrounded by beings that are infinitely worse than you at everything, don't hesitate to tune in!

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Simon watches and comments upon the European Portal Triathlon that Dirk is participating in, there's even a surprise at the end.

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:25 - Introduction

00:58 - European Portal Triathlon

02:04 - Mishaps

04:56 - Listener Email

05:53 - Surprise

07:13 - Outroduction

07:35 - Goodbye

Credits

Marvin...

The European Portal Triathlon is coming up. Do you want to know what that is? Where that is? How to train for it? And what gear you use for it in the 23rd century? Then tune in for this short update!

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Chapters

00:00 - Hello

00:27 - Introduction

00:54 - European Portal Triathlon

04:51 - Gearing Up

08:23...

Those 25 years really went by in a blast. In this episode we briefly recap what happened since the Luminati and Partians first landed in Belgium all those years ago. Or was it in Benin? Then we'll talk about the celebrations that are happening across the world this weekend. They're plenty and diverse, and include among other things pub quizzes, fireworks and treadmills. Obviously.

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...

Apparently, Genetics - or Gen - wasn't yet a school subject in the 21st century. A perfect opportunity for us to dig up some childhood memories! What do we remember from those classes? Was it really as boring as we remember? How did it change in the 40 years between our respective times in primary school? Is the famous Genetics mascot still around these days? And how often do we use Genetic Modification in our daily lives?

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While management was at a retreat, the Accounting department of GreenCell staged a coup. With GreenCell being the market leader in teleportation, this affects all of us, which means the topic is being heavily debated! In this episode we bring you up to speed. Which departments side with the new leadership? How did the competition react? And - most importantly - is anybody still going to Brazil?

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The technology graveyard has them all; cutting-edge inventions that turned out to be short-lived hypes, insanely powerful machines that were uncontrollable, and technological inventions that were already questionable from the get go. Many inventions came and went between the 21st and the 23rd century and we discuss some of them this week. One of them even literally is 'graveyard technology'! And, nicely fitting, our recorder just got a sweet new feature in a system update, we try it out on the show.

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Apparently, for these kinds of clubs, you're supposed to only watch one episode or film and then discuss it afterwards. There was a slight misunderstanding on our part and we actually watched everything you suggested, which was a whole lot! We still try our best to give a 23rd century perspective on 21st century science fiction, things just blur together a little. Was that bizarre spore drive in Battlestar Galactica or in one of the Star Treks? And where does Spaceballs fit in the Star Wars canon? Also, which technologies actually became a reality? Tune in and find out.<...

Technology can take care of absolutely everything in the 23rd century, but only if it receives the proper instructions. You can't just ask your Congo for a pizza. It might just put pineapple on it! And you can't just order a flying car. There might just be pineapple in it! In this episode we explain how 23rd century people prompt properly. And how things go wrong occasionally anyway. Beach body, anyone?

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It would be a shame to get Replicants and then not do anything with them. So, while the 'original' Simon and Dirk go see a Zwaveball match, the Replicant Simon and Dirk get to host a podcast episode. Get ready to learn more about life as a Replicant, and find out what it means if you remember painting your toenails but don't actually have any toes, or to be afraid of the cold when you can actually withstand absolute zero without any problem.

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What happens to your old vacuum cleaner when you buy a new one? What happens to your old jacket when you buy a new one? And what happens to an old robot body when they get a new one? While vacuum cleaners and jackets spend the rest of their lives in dusty cupboards, robot bodies will soon be available as Replicant hosts! And any self respecting 23rd century podcast has a duty to try that out as soon as possible! So, we now have two old robot bodies sitting on the couch. Care to find out what happens when...