They Talk Sex

Kaytlin Bailey is a comedian and former escort who founded a nonprofit organization that uses storytelling to advocate for human rights. She produces conferences and podcasts episodes and is touring The Oldest Profession Live Show now! Let’s talk about 10,000 years of sex work in history.

TIMESTAMPS:

3:00 feminism succeeds with inclusion of sw

7:00 sw in history 

10:00 feedback from audiences

13:00 internalized shame

15:00 the Honest Courtesan - maggiemcneil.com 

18:00 sugaring and escort background

22:0010% off your feministtrash.com order with code STRI...

Suzannah Weiss is an American sexologist and author of “Eve’s Blessing”, which discusses how people with vulvas can lead pleasurable lives in a world that normalizes their pain, specifically related to sex, childbirth and menstruation.

This book is for gender diverse people, and is not a critique of the Bible, but a more sex-positive re-imagining of it.

3:00 chronic lyme disease, pain or no-gasm 

7:00 stories from others

10:00 what is “the female experience”

13:00 medical forms and language can make it confusing

15:00 gaslighting example

18:00 PAXIL may mess up your vag...

Your questions on STIs, dating, and pleasure, answered by Mariah Caudillo of @SexedFiles of IG. She's worked in schools for a decade and is an online program creator for a major health care clinic. Let's talk health and fun sex stuff.

3:00 day and night jobs!

7:00 teaching in schools for a decade 

10:00 bacterial vs virtual STIs

14:00 M.Gen is a new STI! Fun!

16:00 Qs for a new partner?

22:00 HPV info 

25:00 THEYTALKSEX for 15% off first order Condomania.com

27:00 Bacterial Vaginosis is an ST...

Phoenix Rising met your host as a newbie stripper in the previous decade -  and she rejoins Elle to reflect in the podcast, years later. What has changed or been learned? This is a big advice episode for all strippers and people who love them. Let’s talk drama, burnout, injuries, aging, judgement, and self-care.

I first interviewed Phoenix Rising as a newbie stripper, in our previous decade -  and she rejoins your host as a thriving veteran, years later. This is a big advice episode for all strippers and people who love them. Let’s talk...

Not your average grandma…better! Ruby Lynne of The Granny Panty podcast started sex work at the age of fifty three and today she’s a prolific media creator with a background in public health. Let’s learn some marketing and professional’s tips while discussing better practices for self care and health of yourself and your loved ones.

2:00 public health and porn!

5:00 M.Gen is a new STI

8:00 podcasting and networking with oldies

12:00 on being outed by a family ‘friend’ 

16:00 high school reunions

20:00 being stalked via P...

Tricia Wise is a full time herpes educator and visual artist, and we talk about how to be a safer slut, and stay happier while being mentally ill. Get some updated HSV information, and get connected with her Shadownbanned podcast and upcoming zine project.

2:00 meet your shadowbanned host

5:00 SEGGS instead of sex

8:00 it’s disheartening to get flagged

12:00 HSV 1 vs 2

16:00 symptoms that we experience 

19:00 take the herpes survey study!SPFPP.ORG

23:00 dating red flags?

28:00 dating tips and anxiety texting

32:00 getting the ICK...

Are you feeling stressed out more often than feels normal? Let’s hear from our guest and therapist Carolanne Marcantonio who offers some explanation for what’s happening in your brain and body when you feel like you’re running from big game hunters, and want to anxiety-poop, or cry.

3:00 meet your punk guest

6:00 career advice from Dr. Ruth!

9:00 Fight, flight, freeze, fawn

12:00 stomach problems

15:00 ladders of inference

18:00 more examples

22:00 tips to ground yourself

24:00 discount code THEYTALKSEX

28:00 shake it off, literally

...

Hey friends! I’m enjoying a two or three week break from publishing episodes, during this summer-to-fall transition.

I’d love to hear your feedback or guest suggestions. If you’d like to be a guest on the show, reach out and tell me a little about your background and what you’d like to talk about. Email Theytalksex @ protonmail.com.

Visit theytalksex.com to see updated coupons or discount codes to some of my favorite adult health and wellness produts and services.

Thanks for your rating or review on your favorite...

Did you know that violence against people in the adult industries is a common type of police misconduct? Our guest and journalist Isidoro Rodriguez uncovers what he’s learned through interviews and study of two at-odds populations: cops and sex workers. Let’s talk about how power and criminalization of prostitution makes it impossible to protect marginalized people in our America.

3:00 embedded with police academy 

5:00 sadistic, altruistic, apathetic

8:00 concepts of consent

10:00 did you have any biases?

13:00 I just want to learn

16:00 how to screen for predators?

Jae Tracy grew up through severe parental abuse and trafficking and is finally able to speak about her experiences, in order to bolster other survivors and to teach the warning signs. Let’s talk about living as an adult with a family trauma history, and thriving as an individual after.

1:00 we met in the strip club

4:00 she can finally share her story of childhood

7:00 charming and abusive mother

10:00 meth and alcohol and “the wrong crowd”

13:00 Lutheran grandparents

16:00 Find her on Youtube @ Jae Tracy

19:00 a step...

Leanne Lawson is an amateur adult content creator living in Canada who stumbled upon an online world of pro-fascism trans women(!) Let’s talk about internalized violence and power structures in adult work, trans and queer spaces.

1:00 trans women who love Trump?

3:00 the “Tucker Carlson of trans women”

5:00 barred from the strip club

9:00 trans-on-trans violence

13:00 pick-me!

14:00 trans women with privilege?

19:00 Sponsored by NetherlandsWax.com

22:00 examples of infighting and sabotage

26:00 dating lesbians

29:00 I'd be more successful if I shut u...

What can you learn from an online adult entertainer, YouTuber, and digital marketing professional? Misty Maven creates content for her subscription sites, sells worn clothing items, and tells us about her learning curves and ongoing practices for engaging online. Let’s talk webcam and sex work!

3:00 prior work experience

6:00 why they started sworking

9:00 selling worn garments 

12:00 twerking videos 

15:00 connecting with others

19:00 nosy and interested in others

23:00 what about the future?

26:00 talking with mom about worry

30:00 regrets in t...

Ready for some inner child work? Our guest was tired of talking about their traumatic incidents and was ready to feel better in their body and relationships again - let’s talk dealing with attachment trauma and healing methods with Mx Harris Hill.

3:00 heal your PTSD faster?

7:00 inner child work 

11:00 if you can feel you

14:00 hypersexuality and substances, PTSD

16:00 golden rules for working with people 

19:00 inherently traumatized + trans?

22:00 jealousy triggered 

25:00 stop relying on them for so much

Sp...

Vada Everlove is a Certified DV Survivor’s Advocate and poet of erotica. She survived sexual abuse and grooming and discusses the connections between purity culture, misogyny and abuse. We reframe some bad narratives and talk connections between polyamory and trauma-healing.

3:00 17 and 30 years old 

8:00 some symptoms of CPTSD

10:00 vaginismus and vulvodynia

13:00 numbing your vagina with lidocaine

15:00 pleasure after abuse

17:00 anatomy and consent for kids 

19:00 @ BookofWhoredom - our guest on IG

22:00 Sponsored by Netherlandswax.com

24:00 maintaining sanity while online 

27...

Tara Jones is the founder and Executive Director of a small, grassroots non-profit called The Youth Sexpert Program. If you have kids or tweens or teens, there may be some tips in here for you! Let’s talk about youth and education

2:00 building her own curriculum based on needs

5:00 first tampon experience 

8:00 talking to your kids, concerns

11:00 continued –

15:00 workshops that they offer

18:00 NetherlandsWax.com

22:00 it happens earlier than you might expect

26:00 how to ask about your kid’s activity

3...

Kali is a longtime stripper and photographer based in California and can currently be found on IG’s @TalesfromtheStrip17.

Let’s talk strip club culture and horror stories, dressing room dogs and Juggalos. Join two “lifers” for safety tips, rants and advice for newbies and curious club-goers.

4:00 ageism and aging in the club

7:00 states and cities where she worked

11:00 PDX has different requirements for clubs

14:00 personal life things

16:00 movie recommendation The Last Showgirl

20:00 @talesfromthestrip17

25:00 security cameras - yes or no?

30:00...

How can we make better sex toys and for different bodies? Matty Hennesey of Eversense Toys explains how to find what you need - and creative uses for sex toys you may already have! Let’s talk care, cleaning, and adventures in sex work and adult retail.

Find your guest at EversenseToys.com

Find your host at ElleStanger.com

This episode was sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com and InstituteForSexuality.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

2:00 everyone should work...

How can we make better sex toys and for different bodies? Matty Hennessey of Eversense Toys explains how to find what you need - and creative uses for sex toys you may already have! Let’s talk care, cleaning, and adventures in sex work and adult retail.

Find your host at ElleStanger.com

Find your guest at Eversensetoys.com

This episode was sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com and InstituteForSexuality.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

2:00 everyone should work in an adult store 

Our sex education and self-help podcast is back and talking blood! Rebel-doctor Evelin Dacker returns to give advice and info about the periods of time that we stop getting our periods. Let’s talk about pre-menopause.

4:00 2-15 year range of perimenopause!

8:00 examples of symptoms

10:00 “old lady vulva” 

13:00 a link to your mother’s history

16:00 menopause means you’ve been period-free for a year

18:00 sponsored by Intimacy Experiment Retreat - 

20:00 elle’s free consultation with the Doc

21:00 an overview of yeast infections in the vagina<...

Elle and Valentine are friends and partners in life and the adult industry! We take your questions about dating, self care, sex and work. Thank you for a great four years talking sex and season 5 will return in the spring.

1:00 Guest IG @ xValentine_vonbettieX

5:00 find her Casa Diablo now!

7:00 dating another SW has baseline perks

10:00 dating issues for SWs

14:00 the work can be “bad” for some people’s health

16:00 “Concussion” movie 

19:00 Condomania.com - - code THEYTALKSEX for 15% off first order

22:00 tips on building yo...

How does intimacy relate to sex and self worth? Our guest has years of family and marriage therapy under her belt, and she runs the sex education program your host attended. Let’s talk intimacy, sex tips and and ideas between Elle and her mentor, Dr. Roz Dischiavo.

2:00 marriage and family therapist, sexual health program director

5:00 cell phones are messing 

7:00 broken heart syndrome? Takotsubo cardiomyopathy

11:00 is eye contact creepy?

15:00 cell phones and lower sex interactions

18:00 connection prepares you for intimacy

22:00 consultations with Gen Z

...

What can hands do? Let’s talk with pleasure expert and coach Jennifer Rahner about kink and communication. Learn some basic tips and some safety practices, plus creative ideas for self pleasure and partner play.

1:00 Dr. Ruth started it

4:00 a mid-life career switch 

7:00 teaches non-monogamy, BDSM, masturbation and more

10:00 CNS vs ENM discussion

13:00 will the United States block Tryst?

16:00 PH ban from states

19:00 basic spanking tips 

22:00 more spanking tips

26:00 slapping safety tips

29:00 choking safety tips

Let’s talk with a European brothel manager: Catherine de Noire works the overnight shift in one of the biggest venues in her part of the world, and hear the pros and cons of a legal system and how the workers navigate it.

2:00 working the night shift

6:00 how the club operates for the workers

9:00 no middle-management

12:00 no violent incidents in years

15:00 crossing borders to work

18:00 radical feminists and conservative christians

23:00 no charge for first timers

26:00 how Domestic violence relates to sex work

What's it like being a dominatrix to the devout AND to the de-constructing Mormons? Mx Novatrix serves and teaches in the SLC area of Utah, which is arguably the most sex-negative region in the United States. Let’s talk to them!

2:00 episode begin

5:00 Utah/Idaho mormons more intense than outside states

10:00 mass exodus from Church in some ways

15:00 Joseph Smith was a known con man

18:00 yes these are problematic terms “indian” and “savages”

22:00 return with honor ewwww

26:00 what are Bishop’s interviews?<...

Alexa Van danced in Portland stripclubs and wrote a novel one decade later - not as a memoir but as a way of processing alcoholism and unhealthy relationships. Why is it that the very thing that attracts so many people to ‘us’ is the thing they end up hating and wanting to change? Let’s talk stripclubs, dating, and art.

2:00 - never worked at Sassy’s 

4:00 - why is it that these men want to change me?

9:00 - she is a raging alcoholic

12:00 - double standard of working 

15:00 - a lap danc...

Are you a current or former Christian still learning how to have guilt-free sex? Mattie Jo Cowsert is a recovering Evangelical who moved to New York City to find her husband - and then learned the world is bigger and more diverse than she had been raised to believe. Meet a shameless oversharer who wrote about her experiences with God, Sex, and Rich people.

3:00 evangelical and moved to NYC

7:00 sex and shame

10:00 rich people were unexpected

13:00 white, blue eyed woman privilege 

18:00 where my Evangelicals at?

20:00 abuse dismissed a...

What does penis health have to do with heart health? A lot! Erica Leroye was a teacher and a lover when a tragic death led her to a new calling: teaching people about penile health, and doing touch work around pleasure and healing. You’re invited to November’s ‘Soft Cock Week’, and listen here now to learn about the penis in its most common state: soft.

3:00 - this episode can save lives

8:00 - sex is outercourse and intercourse 

12:00 - retrograde ejaculation and ED - common symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes

16:0...

Lenora Claire was a business owner and public figure in Los Angeles before her stalker incidents led her to becoming a private investigator and media consultant.  Learn how survivors and perpetrators of stalking can be handled smarter, by a person who teaches better practices for true-crime coverage.

2:00 - reality shows and progressive parents

5:00 - crime show producers don’t know how to treat survivors

7:00 - Batman and Superman to the rescue!

10:00 - why blocking isn’t always best

14:00 - risk assessment 

18:00 - “what did you do to up...

Jack Parker has been doing sex work since just before he was an adult, and he’s now a writer and publisher of an anthology of stories from other trans-masculine sex workers. Let’s talk about how queerphobia makes unique spaces and options for some working guys in the arts and adult industries.

3:00 sex work before 18, before public

7:00 making $4 an hour? WHAT

10:00 not enough options for advertising or undies

14:00 how to transition without them knowing?

17:00 any port in a storm

23:00 my favo...

If you’ve ever watched mainstream tv or movies with sex scenes in them, you can appreciate the people who make them look more realistic, while helping the performers be safest. Let’s talk with our guest Jamie Monahan, who works as an Intimacy Coordinator and Director.

3:00 #MeToo history

6:00 actors are taught to Say Yes

8:00 sexual alignment on film 

11:00 there is a lack of lube in film 

14:00 history behind intimacy coordinator

17:00 scenes that stuck in your mind

21:00 other memorable scenes...

Elizabeth Foreman works sober in New Orleans strip clubs these days. Here she shares her experience with sex work and sobriety which has given her insight, tactics and coping mechanisms while she continues to share her healing journey with others.

4:00 disclaimer - experiential and not academic

6:00 dancing instead of full-service

9:00 confusing laws around sw and trafficking 

13:00 NOLA vs PDX stripper economics

17:00 how she got started in sobriety self-help

20:00 alcoholism in the family and the club

24:00 tips to not get drunk at the strip/c...

Erica Smith is a sex educator specializing in purity culture trauma and recovery. Let’s talk about dealing with shame and some tips for better sexual health and lives.

4:00 a controversial event in 2000

7:00 working in abortion clinic, juvenile justice system

10:00 youth in sex work or experiencing trafficking

14:00 how purity culture relates to juvenile justice

17:00 the Army of God loves fake anthrax

20:00 sexually active teens

23:00 she who is without shame!

27:00 how to tell my partner I’m queer?

30:00 use...

Have you ever been made to feel like an object instead of a person? Do you objectify others? What does objectification mean, how can we take our power back, make the best of it, or get off on it?

Let’s talk with Suzannah Weiss, author of “Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject”

2:00 See her live August 18th at Sanctuary club in Portland

6:00 growing breasts made people treat her differently 

9:00 sexuality healed her disordered eating!

13:00 people being degrading at cam models

16:00 this economy making me do more...

I'll return with new episodes next week.

Book me for a consultation session or find me on the adult chat app if you want to divulge your secrets or fantasies.

Your host is ElleStanger.com

Book a consultation via Contact on ElleStanger.com

For 1-1 adult interactions find me on Sextpanther.com/elleOhElle

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :

How can intentional psilocybin use help people heal from big life events, or create a better understanding of theirselves? Let’s talk with “trauma queen” expert and educator Jimanekia Eborn.

4:00 policing to psychology 

7:00 numbing vs pushing through 

15:00 what has changed for you?

17:00 tripping tips 

20:00 how did shrooms impact you?

23:00 AD - FeministTrash.com discount code STRIPPERWRITER

27:00 more advice for tripping 

30:00 sensory play ideas 

34:00 small vs big trauma

37:00 germ transfer overload

41:00 AD GetTheLayer.com - discount code ELLE<...

What’s it like to go to a clinic to receive an abortion? Our guest has been escorting patients for years and talks about the science of medical abortion, care tips and how to advocate for yourself when you need one. Meet the Executive Director of Nebraska Healthcare Resource, Shelley Mann.

3:00 patient to clinic escort to executive director 

6:00 why people need abortions

8:00 known as the abortion lady 

12:00 pointless to argue with these people 

15:00 why are you so obsessed with me?

18:00 AD: GetTheLayer.com - sex blanket!

20...

They Talk Sex Podcast returns in one week so that your host can have a little extra summer fun.

Here's how you can find me or reach out!

ElleStanger.com

IG @theytalksexpodcast

Twitter/X @ellestanger

Use code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!

Subscribe to see Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Naomi left the strict Amish at seventeen, and worked for twenty years in adult entertainment, and wrote an erotic memoir about that time. We talk about dating, parenting, boundaries and sex clubs.

1:00 raised as strict Amish, left at 17

4:00 literally pushed to audition by friends

10:00 financial advice from a coworker 

14:00 the regret was having to hide it

18:00 online use

21:00 being OUT to family?

24:00 dark days and substance abuse

28:00 coercive partner sex

31:00 leaving the situation

33:00 parenting a kid now

37:00 I...

Miss Mei is a political organizer in Miami Florida and talks sex work, explains what can help prevent trafficking and police abuse, and gives tips on how to look for bad-actor organizations.

3:00 - a friend got her work doing threesomes to begin SW

6:00 - they prefer in-person work

9:00 Slutwalk helped lead to #MeToo

12:00 reclaiming the word Whore

15:00 Amber Rose did not invent Slutwalk

19:00 women’s spaces and nonbinary ppl 

22:00 no arrests YET

26:00 when the client follows you...

Mike Stabile is a journalist and documentary filmmaker and ol’ gay activist who has written about and advocated for sex workers and sexual speech for twenty years.

2:00 - I was an anonymous hand once

6:00 - why Twitter is relevant to free speech and liberties

8:00 - Polari - slang speak of gay sailors and sw’s

10:00 gay porn film history and Chuck Holmes

15:00 - what is KOSA and why should we hate it?

18:00 do u want the government to see your searches?

21:00 age verification does...

Born in India, neurodivergent, non monogamous, a New York sex therapist who loves sex-positive spaces, let’s talk healing with Nikita Fernandes MHC-LP and learn some healing tips for life and sex.

1:00 meet our guest

3:00 women’s gender studies classes were key to critical thinking 

6:00 assimilation as a safety mechanism

9:00 tips for therapeutic movement 

12:00 dance, hiking, kink, gym

15:00 medical issues

19:00 The People’s Book of Human Sexuality - Laureano

23:00 coping tips

26:00 more tension release tips

28:00 fantasies around sexual a...

He’s telling his life story besides the two random events that led to him working in the xxx industry as a Bull in the cuckold scene. “Thrash: “Penetrating the Business” author talks about filming and life.

4:00 Brickhouse Magazine

6:00 the pros of accessible technology

9:00 @brickhousemag on Twitter

13:00 there’s levels to it

18:00 THEYTALK20 for 20% off lube/condoms at MayerLabs.com

20:00 what is the best part of being a bull?

24:00 filming vs real life

29:00 a one man show on stage

Pomma is a xxx content creator who tirelessly informs followers on news, legislation, harm reduction practices, and hazards related to online sex work and adult industry work. Let's talk!

4:00 what kind of work?

7:00 money is tight for many 

10:00 socialized to be performative as youth

13:00 banned from social media ooops

16:00 FOSTA SESTA

19:00 facial recognition and TSA

22:00 will this get me evicted?

27:00 when your beloved sugar daddy dies

30:00 the athletes of sex workers 

35:00 thick models like London Andrews, Valentine Vo...

His nickname is The Dick Whisperer and he’s spent years perfecting his penis-injections services and science: Meet the founder of PhalloFill . Let’s talk about why some men want to augment theirselves and why you should always follow post-procedure advice!

3:00 - hair removal and penis augmentation

4:00 - the P shot began

7:00 porn, peer comparison, indirect teasing

11:00 how to talk to youth about media 

14:00 confidence in the workplace

18:00 let’s talk about complication rates

21:00 increase in sensitivity

25:00 what is Hyaluronic acid?

28...

She’s a model, full contact fighter and martial arts instructor, genderfluid princess and more: lets meet Sybilla Bakzaza.

3:00 martial arts, baseball, football, sailing, relay racing, US NAVY

5:00 a commentary on Marine culture or US Navy

8:00 (devil dock is a penis joke)

9:00 cross-dressing as an entry

12:00 American assimilation 

18:00 what can suck about gym environments

22:00 she has a team of Hulks on her side

25:00 how to screen employers/venues?

29:00 advice on showing up as trans in cis spaces?

Let’s explore the history behind masturbation misinformation, pseudoscience and shaming, with clinical psychologist and author Dr Eric Sprankle.

3:00 how he got here

7:00 a vast conspiracy to teach education (elle has worked with PH tho)

10:00 history repeating on anti-porn 

13:00 misinformation is the same 

16:00 exploring negative online comments

20:00 be a man - destroy your lungs

23:00 how do people feel about the word?

27:00 does ejaculation impact hormone levels?

32:00 what do “sex rehab programs” look lik...

Our last episode of this season and O what fun - let’s talk cuckolding!  Join Mistress Elle for a chat with her favorite cuckold and hear how he discovered his kinky lifestyle, how he interacts most ethically with the women he worships, and please enjoy some of our funny stories, too.

3:00 how he finds women to worship

5:00 a catholic priest client - Lady Vi

8:00 legal and artistic aid for a friend

10:00 scrotal piercings for a leash

11:00 Mickey Mod and Mistress Gia DeMarco

13:00 fir...

We catch up with our fave herpes educator Courtney Brame for some updates and additional facts about a common virus that many of us live with, and Elle had new experience with. Let’s talk herpes again!

1:00 he gets more topless-views

3:00 a big herpes survey

7:00 clinically massive outbreak

11:00 sex workers + herpes 

14:00 consented to not using barriers

17:00 sexual infidelity is a possibility

21:00 herpes location vs Type 1 or 2

23:00 why do lab tests during outbreak?

26:00 20TALKSWIRL2

29:00 sex toy snafu, unrelated

32:00 wha...

A traumatic attack caused our guest to reframe how she was living her one life. She’s now chosen to work as an erotica writer, a legal courtesan in a nevada brothel, and she’s here to talk about making positive connections between mind-body healing and sex work.

2:00 gang bang playwriting

4:00 a traumatic event showed a bird’s eye view of life

7:00 surviving the home invasion assault

10:00 find her at the brothel

14:00 be a nun or get married at 16, literally 

20:00 how to screen for clients...

She’s been a top lesbian content creator on Youtube for a decade, now learn what’s next for Bria Kam after years of growing with her audience, and being part of the first successful UK revenge porn lawsuit. We talk love, strapons, and web work!

1:00 how we met

4:00 on making our own porn

7:00 on being “Mommy” 

10:00 how did you start filming?

14:00 they won the first ever UK revenge porn lawsuit

17:00 Pamela anderson was done dirty 

22:00 only one of us likes sucking D

25:0...

Have you ever seen healthcare providers who have no idea what you are experiencing personally? Lucie Fielding is a therapist, sex educator and writer who saw the gaps in healthcare and the biases against trans people by their providers, and works to share info and insight about better clinical approaches to trans sexuality.

2:00 a clarifying anger

6:00 I want clients/people to feel lovable

9:00 psychoanalysis was designed to be intensive

13:00 what does Yes and No feel like in the body?

17:00 “these poor people”

20:00 what is anti-trans sensationalism

2...

Let’s explore Oregon and and particularly Old Town Portland, which has its roots in racism, beer, gambling and sex work, and predatory policing. This city truly was built by alcoholics and hustlers: Let’s talk ghosts of old-timey Oregon with Weird History Podcast Host and author, Joe Streckert.

3:00 why weird history is important 

8:00 tour guide in Portland

11:00 a brief history of Vanport, Oregon

14:00 early Portland history demographics

17:00 beer and gambling and sw 

19:00 why is Oregon so white and covertly racist?

23:00 Oro Fino Saloon and enforc...

Bella Cummins has owned her Nevada brothel for thirty-seven years and talks about venue management, what the regulations are like, and how to create a safer and more fun environment for everyone..

1:00 beginning the day at the brothel 

3:00 administrative and staff training

5:00 only cis women working here at this time 

7:00 decrim vs legalization discussion

10:00 clarification on decriminalization in NZ

14:00 safer working in brothels than outcall

17:00 discounts to Utah residents!

21:00 laundry is important at the brothel 

25:00 is this a calling for you?

They Talk Sex returns in one more week to hear about brothel work and ownership, take your trans healthcare questions, learn about lesbian pornmaking, and some weird sex history.

Listen on Podurama!

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Do you have sex questions? She’s a Black sex educator who advocates for HIV prevention, sex toy exploration and straightforward communication: Ashley Cobb from Atlanta, Georgia offers straightforward and candid input on common questions about anal sex, penis size, and more.

1:00 began teaching sex ed in 2015

5:00 she thinks redheads are cute

9:00 38 vs early 20’s

11:00 pRep for Black women

14:00 raw sex equals pregnancy or STIs

17:00 syphilis and COVID going up why?

21:00 why to have sex before you get married

24:00 why insecure men might pref...

She’s a self-taught therapeutic dominatrix and touch provider, who specializes in helping people play and explore boundaries and kinks. Meet Lara the Divine Theratrix and learn about what it’s like to explore feeling big, small, and primal.

3:00 therapeutic approaches to hands-on work

6:00 autism and body language learning

9:00 Dr Stewart Brown - on play and communication

14:00 protection from obsession

19:00 humans are animals 

22:00 being fluid and changing

26:00 creative Safewords

30:00 special interests are so important 

36:00 JoyClub, Beducated, Fetlife

41:00 discrimination against domina...

Let’s talk about male bisexuality, biphobia, role-modeling mental health and have a raunchy, fun time with Zachary Zane. He’s an advice writer and the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.

1:00 a book about bisexuality and shame

3:00 having OCD as a child and now

6:00 mental health and spirituality

10:00 bisexuality and stigma

13:00 not enjoying sex due to stress

16:00 a darn good therapist session

20:00 how do you role model healthy male sexuality?

25:00 tips on coming out to family members 

28:00 more discussion on th...

What are your personal ethics around sex work and matrimony? Why do some people share their interactions with spouses and other people hide them? How to support your partner in sex work? Is it cheating to pay for services? Let’s discuss this with a happily married sex worker, Jessie Sage.

1:00 a spicy viral twitter post

4:00 cancer, and caregiver roles

7:00 what work she’s done in sex

10:00 feedback from her clients

14:00 a public-facing nonbinary spouse

18:00 on blaming the sex worker

22:00 oral sex or we aren’t gett...

Who else has ADHD? Our guest noticed a lack of sexuality-related info for people with attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder. For two decades he has served people who need help with dating, sex, self-care and relating. Let’s learn and laugh with therapist and author Ari Tuckman.

3:00 he wrote the books because there was a lack of help for ADHD-ers

5:00 a lot of mental health and medical pros have little or no sex education

7:00 he gravitates to people with ADHD

10:00 how does ADHD make dating hard for you?

14:00 more examples

19:00 people-pleasing be...

Why do some people pay others to teach them how to be sexual and intimate? Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brandon of AmpersandIntimacy expands on our previous episode about surrogate partner therapy, and the benefits and barriers to these treatments.

3:00 gaming and play, kink and sex

6:00 previously he was a clinician

9:00 on people who aren’t listening to my boundaries

13:00 who his clients typically are

16:00 on why people pay for sexual touch

Let’s talk with Leilah of A Stripper’s Guide about privacy issues and safety, queerness at the stripclub, and listen as she gives tips on setting boundaries and maintaining a healthier relationship with partners and self.

3:00 she works night shifts for a few reasons

7:00 curious but condescending 

10:00 plz don’t ask her about her sex life

12:00 “gold star lesbian” discussion

15:00 on the asexuality spectrum: demisexual

18:00 artificial intelligence 

24:00 feeling shame vs seeking privacy

28:00 I identify with the slutty-looking girl

33:00 private about her sex life...

How does spirituality and sexuality relate? It depends on who you are and what you believe. For this episode we talk sex and spells with guest Serena the Blessed who is a Black, Indigenous, Jewish trans-femme tarot reader and magic-maker in Portland, Oregon.

3:00 how magic works

6:00 OYE ancestors and priesthood family

10:00 “Black” magic and Hoodoo and Voodoo, Santeria

13:00 Yoruba origins of “queen”

16:00 gay culture can be different than queer culture 

21:00 all oppression is connected

23:00 more genders than two were common

29:00 Hoodoo and Voodo...

Let’s talk about aging and sexuality with an elder provider and playwright. Charla Hathaway became “a whore at fifty-four”, and she shares some things she’s learned.

3:00 starting her life over at fifty-four

6:00 anal play table-turning

9:00 Joseph Kramer on body healing

11:00 on the term “prostitute”

16:00 expert level hustling mastery

20:00 how to lead an erotic session

25:00 backlash

29:00 body changes and adapting sexual practices

34:00 older guys want intimacy too

37:00 breathing reminders

42:00 how to lead an erotic session 2 Duration: 00:59:00

Hey friends! Your host needs to feel the sun on her buns and to touch some grass and be out of office and NOT editing for a few hours - here’s where you can find me online and IRL!

How does social standing relate to sexuality and dating? Have you ever been ostracized for reasons unclear, or been targeted in a smear campaign? Licensed counselor Halle Thomas joins me to discuss the complex issues and impacts of cancel-bullying.

2:00 former Catholic, queer and Creole

4:00 writing about shame 

6:00 grief, racial and sexual identity and relational problems

9:00 originated in Black queer spaces

12:00 elle hates it when people lie about abuse

18:00 cancel-bullying is a suicide risk 

21:00 obsessive behavior and unhealthy impacts 

25:00 RSD - rejection sensitivity dysphoria

She came, she saw, she conquered pornmaking and media: meet Joanna Angel and learn what her work and married life is like as a longtime porn icon of our generation. We have jokes and marketing advice!

1:00 on feature-dancing and stripclub work

4:00 she works in marketing

8:00 started stripping to pay for her porn site 

11:00 a golden era of stripping

14:00 the hottest people don’t make the most

17:00 monogamy and porn work

21:00 jealousy and business and work

24:00 what do the fans say?

29:00 the hey...

What’s it like for Stoney Faye to be an autistic stripper and parent? Let’s talk about the intersections of disability and sex work, and swap some ridiculous hustle tales.

2:00 disability acceptance

5:00 heightened sensitivities 

8:00 on being canceled

10:00 on being a sugar baby

13:00 echolalia and decriminalization of sex work

16:00 not naturally feeling close to people

21:00 sensory stuff and sex

24:00 our libidos are very different but orientations are not

29:00 our fave customer in common

33:00 nerve endings and genitals

36:00 I hat...

Let’s speak to Aja Corynn who made the documentary film “Pleasers”. Our guest applies her anthropological background and creative lenses to her experiences as a stripper; Let’s talk stripclubs, relationships, retirement and media.

1:00 anthropologist and former stripper

2:00 why she quit

6:00 California Girls in Anaheim, Deja Vu in Hollywood

10:00 “Black and kinky” NY dominatrixes

14:00 I’m inside looking around

17:00 on survival sex work vs empowerment 

22:00 mandatory tipout

27:00 don’t write about strippers if you aren’t one

31:00 racism and in Vegas

36:00...

Nate Hazen is a certified bouncer in the state of Oregon and works in downtown Portland. Meet your host’s coworker and listen as we swap stories and tips on how to be safer and more fun as a patron of the adult entertainment industries.

2:00 could you work in a strip club with the lights and loud music?

6:00 felons, veterans, and foster system kids

9:00 de-escalation and working downtown Portland 

12:00 on men who shouldn’t be bouncers

15:00 some people have intent to be malicious

22:00 basic etiquette for begin...

How might one person manage their co-occurring chronic illnesses and disabilities, and have a fulfilling sex life? Meet Katherine Harlow the Park Avenue Pinup and discover how she strategizes her health, pleasure, and functioning. Learn some care tips and disability advocacy with us.

2:00 endometriosis, pelvic floor disorder, narcolepsy, Autism, PTSD

5:00 70% of people with pelvic floor dysfunction have TMJ

7:00 tips for self care and immune system support

9:00 some of us wanted to be adult entertainers 

12:00 cis men have been born with endometriosis too

15:00 strategy around chronic pain

What might healthy spirituality and sexuality look like for Catholics? Let’s meet Sister Shannon who specializes in pleasure and shame-less education and self help for her online audiences, and opposition to her work.

1:00 she’s been deactivated online 3x

3:00 sexual support for Catholics: there is a need

6:00 common questions: masturbation, family shame

9:00 imagine Mother Mary as a single mother

12:00 How do folks relate to Catholicism and sexuality?

15:00 “widen your knees” instead of “spread your legs”

17:00 The Old Testament had erotica in it! “Song of songs”

...

Tom-boys, dykes, butch females, masc4masc, men, and more: how do nonbinary , cis men, and masculine-leaning people experience our world? It’s a spectrum of intersectionality! We speak with one person about gender, licensed sex therapist Grace Ballard.

2:00 Classic psychotherapy vs Buddhist psychotherapy 

4:00 some people love to be disruptive to others

8:00 on OCSB (out-of control sexual behavior)

13:00 playful, competitive, aggressive, touching = the gym

16:00 legitimacy in the workplace

19:00 work clothing is performative

21:00 how do you express your gender?

25:00 how does Elle express fem...

April Flores is an award winning pornmaker with almost two decades of years of experience and knowledge about the adult film industries. We talk sex, dating, and grief. Listen to her!

3:00 “Fat Girl” photo art book in 2013

6:00 on being approached by Belladonna

9:00 the actual sex part is a small part

13:00 on having fake answers for real questions

16:00 on rigorous STI screening for pornmakers

18:00 on her late husband Carlos Batts

22:00 it’s a mindfuck, death

26:00 on fandom from former teenagers (adults)

31...

Do you want to understand what human rights are at risk in the United States? How is social media censorship linked to facsism and reproductive care? How to identify bogus organizations that lie with well-framed media campaigns? Listen to Woodhull Freedom Foundation folks Ricci Levy and Mandy Salley, and enjoy our last episode of this season. See you in 2023!

3:00 what is Woodhull Freedom Foundation?

6:00 incarcerated women shackled while in labor

9:00 attacks on human rights in the US

12:00 Governor Abott in Texas sucks so bad

15:00 government overreach and intended consequences<...

Our guest is a non-judgemental therapy intern, sometimes-sex worker, cannabis educator, and sexuality educator. Danielle Simpson-Baker’s work is for couples and singles, and we offer practical advice for people trying to manage and repair relationship conflicts.

3:00 therapy, sexology, cannabis education and sw

6:00 whorephobia in academia and how we are fighting it

9:00 experience in full-service, with privilege 

13:00 representation as a Black woman 

16:00 things ppl don’t want to tell their therapist YET

20:00 more therapist-shaming, on cannabis and porn

27:00 how to reconnect after a partner-conflict?

30...

Let’s talk about anal penetration with a strap-on! History, meaning and context around a popular and hot-button activity, enjoyed by people of all genders and orientations and identities. The Pegging Book co-author joins me to talk about butt stuff.

3:00 why write this book

7:00 Marquis de Sade was a revolutionary sicko 

11:00 Luna Matatas coined “peg the patriarchy”

15:00 queer opposition 

19:00 Mistress may I suck your c*ck?

23:00 clean butt tips

27:00 silicone lube tricks

31:00 consensual injury desire?

35:00 no coercion plz

40:00 how else sho...

Camille* was a college kid who met a man that changed her life in a very bad way, and she tells how manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse entrapped her into being forced to work sex, and illegally. She’s free now and pursuing a new life, and justice.

4:00 child sexual abuse mention

7:00 traphouses aren’t cool 

10:00 on being isolated 

13:00 the Starbucks incident

17:00 no debit card, no phone privacy

20:00 leaving a social media trail

23:00 the FBI contacted her

26:00 hospital disclosure

28:00 “elevating out of the g...

Does the stuff you bought at the grocery store burn your genitals? Ever forgotten a tampon up there? Learn some tips for vulva and vaginal health, and hear why Momotaro Apotheca started making their own preventative-and-healing products.

1:00 for irritation and infections

4:00 the hot spring incident 

7:00 monistat and vagisil can mess you up

10:00 challenges to developing vulva/vaginal care products

13:00 the stripper pole isn’t safe either - in terms of germs

15:00 condoms break, Ass-to-vag happens, nobody’s “perfect”

18:00 do not use Summer’s Eve

21:00 wh...

We take another dive into discussing common barriers to communication and relationship security with writer Lola Phoenix, who has been navigating this for theirself and others online and IRL for years.

2:00 a lot of common questions

5:00 power dynamics

8:00 on being protective of the community 

10:00 what are your biggest challenges with non-monogamy?

14:00 disagreement doesn’t have to be scary

17:00 forgive yourself for being afraid of abandonment

22:00 attention helps us to survive

25:00 I will grow my own life regardless of you

27:00 what is an...

No matter what your current relationship structure-of-choice is, conflict and communication around trust and jealousy can be challenging. I asked one of my favorite therapists Yana Tallon-Hicks to offer advice from her new book, Hot and Un-bothered.

2:00 meet your guest

6:00 parenting is “the kid project”

9:00 non/monogamy isn’t so different regarding conflict

13:00 is my jealousy rooted in reality, or my past?

16:00 on feeling tricked

20:00 “explicit permission”

23:00 lie-inviting behavior

27:00 “name it to tame it”

31:00 authentic, honest responses w/o punishment

34:00 makin...

Timestamps:

What do we mean when we say something “hurts so good”? Let’s talk about pain and pleasure with author Leigh Cowart, who wrote a book by the same name and to explore and document their own journey with thrill seeking and sensations.

1:00 consensual pain

3:00 ballet can be abusive

6:00 emotional and physical pain

11:00 autism and sensation-needs

15:00 allodynia + hyperesthesia

18:00 CBTorture and bliss

23:00 why does a beating feel so good sometimes?

27:00 on touching our own emotional wounds

30:00 Mollena Williams-Haas resource

...

LK Bertram teaches us about madams, clients, birth control and more as it relates to sex work in colonized North America. Learn how history often repeats itself if we don’t learn from the ghosts of our past. 

2:00 it started with mugshots 

5:00 ghosts are a big part of the culture 

8:00 bawdy houses and police violence 

11:00 benevolent forces behind social change

15:00 porn is one of the first things people drew 

18:00 Oregon statutes and prostitution

21:00 anonymity can help

25:00 frontline health workers and syphilis 

29:00 ghosts a...

Clinical sexologist, African-centered social worker and self-liberation teacher speaks to us about her theories, frameworks and ideas, meet Dr. Zelaika Hepworth-Clarke.

1:00 meet your guest, co-liberator 

4:00 sleep is healing in a few ways

7:00 the critical study of self - autoethnography

9:00 undoing sexual violence with multi-perspectives

13:00 phallocentrism

17:00 the lure of the vagina is powerful

20:00 osunality undermines white supremacy

23:00 The Invention of Women 

26:00 gender and sex is different 

29:00 call me Mo-their 

31:00 Kim Tallbear

35:00 Joy is dangerous to colonialism

Carta Monir is a trans girl pornmaker who explains why a lot of her material is forbidden on some of the most popular and watched platforms, as we talk about identity and work in an ever-changing industry and world. 

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 what violates OnlyFans? 

7:00 reddit and r/traps

10:00 on FOSTA/SESTA

12:00 on peer support and mentors

15:00 different incarnations of a person

22:00 what is your fave content to make?

25:00 new websites upcoming!

28:00 advice for running a successful biz

30:00 production ca...

How might weed relate to sex and arousal? Let’s learn history, tips, and pleasure practices from the Cannasexual, Ashley Manta.

2:00 from DARE kid to cannabis teacher

5:00 publishing a book during COVID sucks

6:00 why say “cannabis” instead of “marijuana”?

9:00 reasons that people use cannabis for sex

12:00 on tolerance breaks

16:00 “cannabis is not boner pills”

21:00 ADHD and anxiety

24:00 resources for cannabis doctors

28:00 CBD vs THC

32:00 what is a placebo?

37:00 anxiety makes sense sometimes

40:00 as a trauma survivor:

A former pastor speaks to her experiences in the church, and how it shaped her current online pornmaking and coaching businesses she’s growing today. Meet Nikole Mitchell and learn about her very public coming-outs.

2:00 women were not allowed to lead

5:00 coming out during the pandemic

8:00 no shame in divorce here

11:00 the gateway selfie and website

15:00 creating spaces of sexuality and/or spirituality 

18:00 no churchy photo shoots yet

21:00 shame can be passed down w/o church

25:00 i dont want to pass my shame to...

How to talk about safety and hygiene? Masturbation? Learn from an expert in communication and teaching for kids and youth, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers.

1:00 they train physicians, clergy, coaches and more, about sexual health

4:00 Swedes are sex-positive!

9:00 impacts of purity culture can look like sexual abuse

13:00 her article went viral, and opposition?

17:00 heredity influences our shapes and bodies

20:00 stages of sexual development are normal

23:00 what do you wish your parents had done differently?

27:00 just tell your kid that you love them regardless of...

America is not the land of sexual freedoms and the Executive Director of NCSFreedom.org explains how people lose jobs, child custody, housing and more due to being polaymorous, kinky, or queer. You'll also learn how we can fight back against losing our human rights.

1:00 why NCSF was formed

3:00 consenting adults and alternative sexualities

6:00 workplace discrimination and harassment

9:00 what are the laws in your state?

12:00 stigma causes suicide, strife

14:00 opposition groups to sexual freedoms

16:00 stop calling anti-abortion people “pro-life”

19:00 what sexual freedoms do YOU...

Our guest Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah collected the stories of African women from all over the globe for years in a blog before she released her book on “self-discovery, freedom, and healing”. We discuss gender, power, feminism, people, and shame.

2:00 meet your guest

5:00  genital reconfiguration for pleasure or mutilation

8:00 stories of self discovery

11:00 on libido in middle age

14:00 child sexual abuse 

17:00 on abortion in places where it is illegal

21:00 medical professional and race

25:00 how to unlearn feelings of guilt

29:00 it takes a villag...

Lina Dune is a bisexual submissive in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship and she is a proponent of healing-BDSM. Meet the web’s @askasub and receive advice from a fairy godmother of kink and relationships.

2:00 what is a 24/7 sub?

5:00 gender roles can be kinky

8:00 importing themes of external oppression

11:00 male subs are people too

13:00 violence and sexual violence warning 

16:00 you can’t please everyone

19:00 what might look confusing to an onlooker?

24:00 how to spot take doms

27:00 doms are people too

30:00 Doms...

They Talk Sex takes a little break.

Would you pay someone to teach you how to be sexual and intimate? Some people do! Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brian Gibney of bgsurrogatetherapy.com talks about touch, legality, and a misleading movie related to surrogate partner therapy.

1:00 he helps people learn to be sexual and intimate

4:00 Cheryl Cohen Greene sounds awesome 

6:00 reasons why people seek out a surrogate partner

10:00 what is the training process like?

13:00 examples of boundary exercises

15:00 people cry a...

You may know her comics, art, or stripper-social media: listen how Jacqueline Frances is adapting to a new and divorced life after stripping.

1:00 I love a new crowd

4:00 convince me to invest in you

7:00 why she is retiring from stripping 

10:00 on becoming internet-and-club-famous 

13:00 how stripping culture has changed in a decade

16:00 content warning for sexual assault

20:00 thirst traps doing good work

24:00 Jacq has a new book

28:00 any advice for my last year of stripping?

31:00 a note on positionality

Nikki Gilliland was kicked out of college, ostracized by her town, and had her children taken away after her professor decided to target her for her decade-retired pornstar past. Now she’s suing the state of Oregon in a historic Title IX discrimination case.

1:00 she was blocked from college for her former porn career

3:00 Nina Hartley was her first lesbian scene

7:00 she didn’t know people hated pornmakers so much

11:00 Coos Bay, Oregon really sucks in a lot of ways

14:00 “only classy women can be nurses”

16:00 her kids wer...

Your host interviews Chicago entertainer Ben Krane about his work and experiences in stripping, gogo-dancing, and internet content creation. 

3:00 Boys Town neighborhood in Chicago

5:00 short kings in Hydrate Night Club

9:00 FOSTA/SESTA killed the Tumblr star

12:00 social media restrictions make me poorer

17:00 what’s ur experience with male strippers?

19:00 first kiss with a stripper

23:00 how much groping happens at your job?

25:00 explaining fluffing aka getting “showy”

29:00 owning a ton of undies

33:00 getting to work is half the battle

39:0...

How can we do sex and life more ethically? We take common questions with Margaret King, LPC of attunementpsychotherapy.com

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 why the therapist can’t party with you

8:00 examples of guiding principles and sex

15:00 Don’t slap people without asking

19:00 on public sex without asking everyone’s consent

23:00 on sharing herpes status with hookups

30:00 why not legalization of sex work

32:00 why rope play or kink can heal people 

35:00 consent is required and can be sexy

38:00 build t...

Ejaculation issues, stamina, performance anxiety, aggression and shame, learn from Australia’s leading male sexologist Cam Fraser on how to have a better and more ethical sex life.

3:00 - why do this episode?

7:30 “every hole is a goal” - mentality 

8:00 pilates and yoga fixed his spine and mind

13:00 challenging narratives about masculinity

15:00 common erectile issues

18:00 elle teaches sex to partners

20:00 communication has to come from both sides

25:00 examples of men’s issues

30:00 vulnerability is hot and powerful

35:00 why prostate orgasms f...

Finding a good therapist, partner-dynamics, kink, embodiment, sensory issues, and conscious relationships: Katherine Friedman, LPC has expert guidance and therapy resources, in an episode on some of our favorite, complex topics.

Timestamps:

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 being informed by her clients

7:00 tips for finding a good therapist

10:00 keeping secrets from your therapist 

13:00 why do folks like or dislike therapy?

17:00 what is DBT?

21:00 fuck you, zuckerberg

25:00 when your male partner is too rough

29:00 is your partner respecting your consent?

35:00 c...

Let’s learn about lube! GoodCleanLove owner Wendy Strgar and I talk a little history, some science, and hear feedback on why people love or loathe using personal lubricants.

1:00 she created a lube to fix her own problems

4:00 the science of lube

7:00 you are what you eat

10:00 gut health and vaginal health

13:00 a lot of people with vaginas experience mysterious irritation

16:00 hybrid lubes - what are they?

20:00 silicone lube can be fun or give you an infection or stain

24:00 why do yo...