Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

We're all so rational when it comes to dating and trying to find our person. But what if we need to be a bit more delusional? And what's missing is that level of delulu that helps us envision what we truly want and actually believe it's possible. Yue shares why she's going to be embrace being delusional this year and how we all can get some of that magic back into dating, relationships and love.

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/<...

Happy 2026 all! We're back bringing that new year energy and sharing why 2026 – the year of the horse – will be better for your love life. We kick off this episode with a special segment with Dr Serena Sterling, the founder of the new dating app Satya, about what she's doing to change dating app culture (which includes keeping people in purgatory for bad dating behaviors!). We also discuss how to manifest better dating experiences and relationships for 2026 – beyond just imagining what you want but actually putting it all into action with a four step ritual that anyone can do this year. E...

Dating Sunday (the first Sunday in January) is the busiest day for online dating, seeing huge spikes in activity. So how do you maximize this peak dating season that runs through February? We're back with a quickie where Julie shares seven essential tips for maximizing success on dating apps during the peak season, starting with Dating Sunday.

• How To Refresh your dating profile for the new year

• Why it's essential to swipe and message with purpose, not impulse

• Quick ways to craft messages worth responding to

• The Peak Time of Day to Maxim...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

And to conclude our series: we’re celebrating the beauty of finding love later in life—and why timing that once felt “off” can end up being perfect in hindsight. We’re joined by former CNN journalist May Lee, who shares her incredible journey of getting engaged for the first time at age 57. Her story is warm, grounded, and such a powerful reminder that taking you...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

We're back for Day #7 with one of our favorite past guests, author & intuitive Nikki Novo, who breaks down how to tap into your intuition so you can build trust, courage, and clarity as you date. We get into how to strengthen your instincts when dating, how to tell the difference between gut feelings and fear spirals, and what it looks like to relinquish control...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

Today is a reminder that GOOD GUYS EXIST! We’re joined by Vasanth, who breaks down the everyday things that help you become a better partner. He has this grounded, thoughtful way of talking about relationships that instantly restores your faith in men who put in emotional effort and genuinely care about showing up well. If you’ve ever felt discouraged or convinced that emot...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

Here we are back with day #5: Talking about how to become naturally more magnetic, knowing that it’s not a matter of if you’ll find your person but rather when. We’re joined by Amy Spencer, author of Meeting Your Half-Orange, who shares how she rewired her thinking through dating optimism to attract her perfect other half. If dating has ever felt draining, confusi...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

We're back to remind you of the magic that happens when two people finally meet each other at the right moment. We’re talking with Valerie, who shares the incredible story of meeting her now-husband, Rob—first online (where they never actually met), and then again through a completely unexpected, real-life chance encounter. It’s one of those stories that pulls you right back into be...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

Next up: Making dating fun again! We’re chatting with positive psychology coach and play expert Jeff Harry, who shows us what happens when you bring a fun, playful energy back into the dating process. If you’ve ever found yourself saying dating feels like another job, this episode is your reminder that joy, curiosity, and playfulness might just be the missing ingredients you’ve bee...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

On this next episode, we're chatting with our friend Sheryl about how adopting a 'just say yes' open mentality completely transformed her dating life – as she started to attract men everywhere she went (including her now-husband!). If you’ve ever felt stuck in old patterns or unsure how to shift your dating trajectory, this episode is a reminder that sometimes the biggest changes start with...

As we approach the new year, we're bringing you a special series: the 8 days of dating optimism, where we air the top episodes that restored our hope and confidence in finding our person.

On the first episode, we're chatting with Christina Bradley, the author of 'Which way to Happiness?', about how to reframe those milestone years not as deadlines, but as invitations to get clear on what you want, not what you think you should have by now. If you’ve ever felt behind, out of sync, or worried that you “should have” been further along in lov...

Being detached doesn't mean that you don't care or give up on dating. But it does mean that you know your worth and aren't going to settle for less than treatment because you got attached to someone or the idea of a relationship working out. We're joined with guest Sabrina Bendory for our Season 21 finale to discuss the power of detachment – through her own story and those of her clients – and how this subtle shift can help you reclaim your agency when dating. We discuss navigating ambiguity in dating in a way that frees you from anxiety, how to take c...

Hot take: The holidays are actually the best time to be single. Between holiday parties, so many events, and everyone feeling merry, there are SO many opportunities to meet new people, reconnect with friends, and just enjoy December. We're discussing some of our favorite ideas for friend group activities, dates (early on or with a partner) and masturdates (i.e dates you can do on your own). We also talk about how to motivate yourself when you're not feeling festive and what to do if you don't have a network/ friends in your area. Enjoy!

Got a...

We're giving you an authentic, raw and rare male perspective on Dateable—that of a single British man in his 40s, who’s done the inner work to finally become emotionally available and ready for a committed relationship… after a long chapter of global thrill-seeking, temptation, hedonism and personal escape. Join us as we talk to Phil about his journey – how he realized he was hiding from intimacy and how he started to carve a path out. We discuss the balance needed in your lifestyle to be ready for a relationship, the ways his social life has changed and where he...

Have you ever questioned if something you were doing or saying would be perceived as odd when dating? We're breaking down two instances that have come up recently – and if the reactions warranted the efforts. We're discussing how things can be perceived especially when talking on dating apps, what to do to navigate a situation that feels a little off despite good intentions, and why some actions aren't always perceived the way you'd think they would be when dating.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

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Happy Thanksgiving all! First off, we're grateful for YOU but we wanted to do a little pre-thanksgiving gratitude to put us all into the thankful spirit. Because despite the many challenges in modern dating, there actually is a lot to be grateful when we think about how much we're developing into the type of partners we want to be. We discuss 7 ways you can feel gratitude even when dating is hard, how to appreciate all the moments along the way, and our own personal things we are grateful for this year.

Plus we unveil something SO COOL...

Ever ask your partner for support and end up getting a TED Talk you never requested? We’re exploring how unsolicited advice shows up in partnerships, why it can feel so invalidating, and how well-meaning intentions can still land the wrong way. We're discussing the difference of wanting to help and overstepping, how to to not overstep boundaries (especially in a world with ChatGPT where everyone can be the expert on anything!), and why sometimes, just being there is the best support.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

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Is love coming later than you expected? We're back with a quickie where Julie talks about what she learned about getting married a bit "later" in life and how letting go of timelines helped find the type of relationship that actually works. This isn't to say you have to wait until 40 to find your person, but there are benefits if you can find them! Hoping this serves as a reminder to trust in your timing and eventually it'll all make sense.

Full article: https://substack.com/home/post/p-176438333 or go to https://juliekrafchick.substack.com/

What if the secret to a healthy, lasting relationship isn’t finding “the right person”… but designing the relationship that’s actually right for you? We’re here with Ellecia Paine who experienced first-hand what it's like to be in a relationship that looks good on the outside but feels empty on the inside, – and how she used this experience to completely redefine what she was looking for in a partnership. We discuss how to break out of the inherited “shoulds” when searching for love, why it's not "too much" to ask for more when it comes to your relationship, and...

In a world where everything feels uncertain, is it actually possible to future-proof your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re diving into one of the biggest dating trends of 2025: the rise of future-proofing. With people becoming more intentional about who they commit to, long-term compatibility is suddenly more attractive than fleeting chemistry — and psychologists are backing it. In fact, a recent Forbes article calls future-proofing “the healthiest dating trend of 2025,” but is it realistic? We're unpacking why trying to predict the future with a partner isn’t foolproof. In this episode, we break down what future-proofing really means, why it’s tre...

Does dating feel less like a rom-com and more like a horror show these days? We’re here with Rory who has survived it all – from the ghosters, narcissists, and all the other characters out there. But more importantly, how she became a 'final girl' who made it out alive. We're discussing some of the common 'monsters' in dating, how you break toxic dating patterns that get you involved with them in the first place, and ways you can be the final girl (or guy) romanticizing your own love story – whether you've met your person or not.

Follow...

Most people are not truly single in modern dating. Even if they say they are. And being on this 'single scale' could be exactly what's holding you back from finding your forever person. Because many of us (or the people we're dating!) are semi in the middle - caught in situationships, FWB situations, casual hookups, or unrequited love. Or even if they aren't – you never know who else they are dating and in what stage they are with their connection! We're discussing how understanding the single scale can change your approach, why being comfortable being single AF is actually the...

Have you ever been with someone that said they wanted to get married – yet couldn't seem to pull the plug when it came to commitment? What happens when they have a pattern of ending things as they are getting serious? We're talking to our guest Steve Budd about his continued search for "The One" and how his struggles with commitment have ended numerous serious relationships despite him wanting to get married more than anything. We're discussing wanting a relationship vs. having the capacity for one, the fall out of how Dreamer tendencies can get ahead of themselves in relationships, an...

You may have seen the viral article 'Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now"? from Vogue circling around. We're giving our two cents on the article: from why are equating social media to life, the difference of having your own identity vs. being embarrassed about having a relationship, and how this article is missing research, depth, and nuance to actually decode a trend on relationships. Let us know your take if you've read the article, or if not, check it out first: https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up...

Whether it was from a situation you thought was going to become more to your ex of five years, moving on after heartbreak is one of the most challenging parts of finding love. We're here with your breakup bestie Kendra Allen who is joining us to talk about what it looks like to regain your sense of self and come back stronger after heartbreak...to eventually meet the love of your life (or actually get back with your ex in a way that it is sustainable for the long-haul). We discuss how to know whether you made the right...

We're not talking about...they wore a weird belt. Or have three cats. But the REAL red flags that eventually wreck havoc on your relationships and turn into dealbreakers. For anyone dating, this episode is a must (or if you're seeing someone the perfect gut check). We're discussing how to shift our focus onto actual red flags, the 5 each we both see leading to absolute relationship dealbreakers, and why it's important to look out for red flags (pending you're looking for the right ones).

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast...

Have you ever had a date where it felt like pulling teeth to have a conversation? Or a conflict with your partner where it felt like you were speaking different languages? Join us as we unravel the power of being a super communicator with Charles Duhigg, acclaimed author and expert on interpersonal dynamics. We discuss why communication is the key to chemistry and connection on dates, the three different conversations that can happen at the exact same time (without us even realizing), and techniques you can use to keep the conversation flowing on your dates, messages, and everything in...

The "S" word...the dirtiest word in dating. No one wants to settle. And we're 100% advocating that you never settle again. But all too often we focus on the wrong things when trying not to settle – and sometimes end up settling even more than we realize. We're discussing the ultimate settling paradox, the actual definition of settling, and the two things to do to make sure you never settle again.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Who carries the weight in your relationship or early dates—the calendar, the check-ins, the emotional temperature checks? We're diving into the mental load that happens in modern relationship – and what brings you closer versus take on unnecessary hardship. We're discussing the difference between emotional support, labor and load, the behind-the-scenes effort that shows up even in early dating, and the shifts you can make so you're no longer the one carrying as many emotional burdens (that you may not even be aware of!)

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DAT...

In the world of dating apps, it's easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of messaging without ever meeting in person. Join us as we explore the art of the ask-out – or hinting at an ask-out if you're reluctant to make the first move. We discuss how to make sure your conversation doesn't go into that dreaded messaging graveyard, the balance between being pursued and taking initiative, and why understanding the limitations of dating apps may actually change your perspective of why you may not be getting asked out as often as you'd like.

Got a d...

Have you ever gotten that unwanted sexual message or pic on a dating app? You're certainly not alone, which is why we need to talk about digital sexual consent and what dating apps are doing about it. We're joined by Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a sexologist and advisor for the dating app Hily, to talk about the shocking types of messages that are sent without consent, what types of safeguards and precautions are being put in place to reduce unsolicited sexual behavior, and why consent actually can help heat up a connection on the apps when used intentionally.

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What's the difference between having standards and not being so picky that there's no one that's good enough to date? Join us as dive into a nuanced look of the fine line that allows you to meet people at your level – while also having an abundance mindset that many good people are out there. We discuss the most picky criteria we've ever heard, how to differentiate between genuine standards and superficial checklists, and how to still get the treatment and love you deserve while being open to the people you meet.

Got a dating question you need an...

Do you ever feel like you are unconsciously seeking the unavailable type and you don't know how to break the pattern? We're chatting with Drea who had a history of dating emotionally unavailable partners about how she started dating differently – by recognizing the real red flags to look for and also taking accountability for her choices. We discuss ways you can actually abandon yourself when you settle for this type of relationship, the behavior you no longer stand for, and the on-going journey it takes to heal your past so you can have the future you want.

Fo...

With so much focus on the early stages of dating, we're often so focused on the lies we've been told about falling in love that we miss the bigger picture. Join us as we decipher fantasy from reality as we explore the idea of finding the ideal type of partner and what it takes to build an actual relationship. We discuss why the whole concept of "finding love" is flawed to begin with, the difference between a growth mindset and a destiny mindset, and the shifts to make to find not a perfect partner, but the most perfect partner...

Is the biggest change in 2025 in dating...the anger? It certainly feels like it! We're chatting with Jared and Jordana, the hosts of the U Up? podcast about the shifts they've noticed in dating over the last decade – and also the big changes in their own love lives. We're discussing the influences around dating that are adding to the negativity, what happens when you aren't where you thought you'd be by a certain age, and how coffee dates are back in for 2025 (you heard it here first).

Follow Jared at @jaredfreid, Jordana @jordanaabraham and U Up? @u.up...

Are mixed signals a sign of disinterest or just poor communication? We're diving into the confusing world of hot and cold behavior in dating – and what it really means. Join us as we explore why mixed signals might not mean what you think, how to address them directly, and why clarity is key in any relationship. Plus, we're sharing personal stories and insights on how to navigate these tricky situations and avoid unnecessary dating games.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Arc...

We're told to be independent but not too independent...so what's the line between what helps us preserve our autonomy versus what keeps us out of partnership? We're diving into this topic that's near and dear to our hearts as two people who have built our own lives, boundaries and identities...yet still want to open ourselves up fully to another human being. We're being brutally honest about the areas that we struggle with vs what feels more like natural integration, signs of healthy independence, and how to strive for the sweet spot of interdependence with a partner.

Date them til you hate them. Is this a brilliant strategy or a complete cop out? We're discussing the latest viral TikTok dating trend and why it may or may not help you move on from someone faster. Join us as we chat about why this actually prolongs pain for both parties involved the counter strategy that actually could help you decide if someone is right for you, and why TikTok should NOT be the place we're going for dating advice (unless you want to stay single forever). Plus we're responding to some feedback from last week's episode related...

What happens when you want to shift the way you date completely? You come up with a plan that's so counter to the way we date today that it may be construed as controversial to some (true story!). We're joined with our guest Raymond who is sharing his new dating plan – and why he got to the place of making one in the first place. We're discussing how to outline a more defined, intentional approach that will either be a game-changing way to date (or at a minimum, a daring experiment), the difference between having a vision of the way...

It may feel like everyone is looking for something casual or non-committal but the reality is that there are people looking for exactly what you are. We're diving into why it's a myth that no one wants monogamous relationships anymore and how you can stay true to your own needs/ desires, sift out the people who are not on the same page, and focus on the ones who are. We discuss how to shift out of the 'there's no one good out there' mentality, where to find like-minded people, and how to get clear about what you really want...

What happens when you can't seem to find any good people to date? Your app dates are blah and it feels like you just aren't meeting the right people IRL. We're talking to Cassidy Davis, the creator of Chaotic Singles Party, of how she went from tragically single (her words!) to meeting her finance by taking matters into her own hands by inviting 65 guys off Tinder for a house party – and then making these into recurring events. We're discussing how we can all live by the 'if you make it, they will come' mentality (even if you don't want to...

It's hard not to take dating personally. But the reality is that most people WON'T be matches – and if they don't text back, don't want to go on another date, or don't want to enter a serious committed relationship, most times it has nothing to do with you. So join us in this #brunchtalk to discuss why can shift our mindset to approach dating with a lighter heart, the spectrum of taking accountability for personal growth versus viewing everything as a reflection of yourself, and how to use "it's not you, it's them" as a way to lead to mor...

How do you choose a partner that's a good match for you? We're joined with Eli Finkel, social psychologist and the Director of the Relationship & Motivation Lab at Northwestern University to debunk what matters and what doesn't when it comes to compatibility in relationships. We're discussing why initial shared interests and similar personalities might not be the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction, the importance of the Michelangelo Effect, and how compatibility can be built even in the early stages of dating.

Learn more about Eli Finkel and check out his podcast 'Love Factually" with Paul Eastwick and...

Yup, you heard us right. You don't need to be good at dating – at least the way we're dating today. We're back for all new brunch talk to dive into why after 10 years of doing a dating podcast, we believe that we're actually doing more that fosters disconnection than actual connection in today's dating world. Sure you can't be an utter train wreck, but we're talking about why some of the most common dating strategies fail, the three skills you don't actually need to build, and quick tweaks that instantly get you better results – and real connections.

Got a...

We're back for SEASON 21 and we're reporting on the next biggest shift in dating, that takes dating intentionally one step further – and also removes the challenges that more 'purpose-driven' dating has caused in the last couple of years. So it's time to wake the f up as we shift into a world of conscious dating that in turn lead to relationships that have a level of depth and connection beyond our wildest dreams. We're discussing the core differences with dating intentionally, how to align your relationships with your highest self, and what it means to be in a conscious rel...

Sure you want someone interested but can they be too interested? Or has anyone every told you that you come off too eager? In this week's #brunchtalk episode, we're discussing the perception of interest in dating, how to move forward if someone shares this type of feedback with you, and ways that you can evaluate your own approach to dating based on how you evaluate interest levels.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow...

We're one week away from Season 21....so what else would we do but reminisce about our 21st birthdays as we usher in a new season of Dateable! But before the season begins, we're airing an episode we did with John Kim that talks about the complexities of modern dating, how cultural differences come into play, and the evolution of relationships in the digital age. We dive into the evolving definitions of love, the challenges of healthy relationships, share practical advice for becoming more dateable, and much more. 

Follow John @theangrytherapist, listen to The Angry Therapist Podcast, and c...

You finally found someone you're into who is also into you. Until out of nowhere – it all blows up. If you've been here before, you know how painful it feels when it seems like the the rug was just pulled from under you unexpectedly We're breaking down the reasons this may happen and how to handle the emotional turmoil that comes from this. We discuss how to get closure without necessarily needing to know why this happened, the benefits of relationship check-ins expediting underlying issues, and ways to learn but not let these situation hold you back.

Got...

What if when dating there are certain things getting in your way that are tempting in ways you may not expect? We're talking with our dear friend psychotherapist Ken Page about how our current dating culture sets people up to fail - and what to do about it. We're talking about the 5 dating archetypes, how to avoid the validation trap when dating, and the most important lessons to apply to your dating life today.

Follow Ken @deeperdating, listen to Deeper Dating Podcast, and learn more about Ken here: https://deeperdatingpodcast.com/

Get OUR BOOK + take...

So you met someone awesome...but...they aren't ready to define the relationship or stop seeing other people. Do you wait? Date other people? Hold back sex or other intimacy? We're diving into how to handle one of the biggest challenges in dating – when one person is ready to have a relationship and the other isn't quite there We're discussing why it's essential take what people say at face value when dating, how to move forward with clarity and purpose, and ways to prioritize your needs so you don't settle.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hi...

If you're in the thick of heartbreak (or have been before) know that there is hope! Yes, you absolutely can come back stronger after this period of grief – even if it doesn't feel like it right now. We're sharing an interview we did with Heather McG about our personal stories of heartbreak and the lessons learned from past relationships. Join us as we chat about what to do when we feel stuck from one too many negative experiences, how to confront heartbreak in a way that leads to personal development, and why every ending leads to a better, new beg...

Dating should be fun! But it also should be intentional....especially if you're looking for a life partner. With all these conflicting messages, it's hard to know the expectation of a first date anymore....especially when you reach your 30s and people are looking for something more serious. We're breaking down the difference between self-imposed pressure and the organic evolution when dating, how to balance fun and deep conversations, and ways to make your intentions more known to be seen as a serious prospect – even if you want to keep the first couple dates relatively chill.

Got a d...

What happens when you're trying to be Dateable....yet not finding anyone of interest? We're re-airing one of our fave interviews with the fabulous Damona Hoffman as we go into getting out of that dating rut, finding the necessary clarity to move forward in your love life, and how to start connecting deeper on dates. Plus, Damona answers the question: Now that I’ve stopped chasing unavailable men, I can’t seem to find anyone that I am attracted to. What do I do? Enjoy!

Follow Damona @damonahoffman and listen to 'Dates & Mates' wherever you get your podc...

They're texting every day, replying quickly, and making plans...everything's running smoothly until one day it just stops. In this week's #brunchtalk, we're discussing one of the most common dating dilemmas: inconsistency. We're discussing the reasons behind this behavior, why we have to communicate our needs and expectations effectively, and how to establish standards that help you find the right person.

Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.com

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check...

From dating books like 'The Rules' to TikToker's giving dating advice, we're here to say the rules don't freaking work – yet they are so much more engrained in all of us than we may even think. If you're debating when to text next, finding the "right" time to have sex or strategically keeping dates short, then it's likely these dating "rules" are actually keeping you stuck. We're joining Talia Koren on her podcast 'Dating Intentionally' to chat about what vulnerability is and isn't, how to tell if you've been playing relationship chicken this whole time and tips for being mor...

Ever feel like you just can't move past those first couple dates or actually get into a committed relationship? You're not alone. Join us this week as we discuss why it's so common to feel this way – even when the reality is that most date's don't turn into more! We're discussing what metrics to focus on when quantifying dating "success", why dating apps have changed the dynamics of dating, and how you can shift the focus so you're more realistic (and optimistic!) about finding love.

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

...

We're officially on the off-season and kicking it off with some life updates from both of us. We recap the first part of 2025 – from our book tour to potential moves to wedding planning. Join us as we debrief about our favorite parts of the year so far and what has been a challenge. Enjoy!

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get you...

We're back with some of our most popular #brunchtalks and a question we always get is: what should I do if they say they like me but they just aren't ready right now for a relationship? Should I stay and give it more time or just let it go? In this week's #brunchtalk episode, we're discussing how to navigate this tricky situation, especially when it's more of an external factor keeping your relationship from progressing. We discuss the pros/cons of waiting for someone to get their sh*t together, how to reframe the situation to focus on your...

What if we were to tell you there's a way to find the right partner that doesn't feel like you're looking for a needle in a haystack where you will absolutely never settle. In our season finale, we saved one our favorite topics from our book 'How to Be Dateable': our perfect partner equation. We discuss the three core components of this equation, how they're different than your typical list, and why we believe it's entirely possible for you to find someone perfectly imperfect for you. Enjoy!

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable...

Yue almost walked out of the movie Materialists...it may be one of Julie's favorite movies of all times. Whether you've seen it or not, we're having a debate about the messaging and takeaways of the movie as it pertains to modern dating, financial disparities in relationships, height surgery, and the matchmaking industry. We're revealing our true feelings of matchmaking from our own experiences and hope you enjoy this heated debate! And if you saw the movie, let us know what you thought...we'll be putting up some Spotify & Instagram polls. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz...

What happens when you meet the love of your life but then the relationship completely falls apart not long after you get married? You learn what you probably needed to know lonnng before you tied the knot! We're joined with Casey & Meygan from Marriage365 to talk about how their relationship nearly collapsed – and what they did to get it back on track. We're discussing the green/red flags when picking a partner, the modern myths that almost ruined their marriage, and what you need to know about marriage even if you are single AF right now. Plus we give a r...

You met someone amazing. The chemistry is incredible and you really enjoy their company. So this is obviously headed into relationship territory, right? Not always...We're discussing if your situationship could actually turn into a relationship or if it's stuck in casual territory. We're discussing what to do when you aren't fully aligned with what a relationship entails, how to gain clarity into what you actually want and need from a partner, and why everything can't fall into place dammit!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT...

Ever want to pick the brain of a matchmaker? Well we're about to as we're joined with Matchmaker Maria to discuss her journey as a fourth-generation matchmaker and what it's like to be a matchmaker in today's world. We're discussing the pivotal quality she bases her matches on, how the 12 date rule can set you up for success, and why it's important to take the 5 different levels of compatibility into account when picking a partner.

To learn more about Matchmaker Maria follow her @matchmakermaria, listen to 'Ask A Matchmaker' podcast and get her book 'Ask a Matchmaker<...

So you met someone you could be into. And then it just hits you and takes over the entire situation. Something they did gave you the ick – so much that you are debating never seeing them ever again. We're discussing the two main reasons you get the ick, the origination of how the ick came to be, and what to do when you get it. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out...

From monogamy to nonmonogamy, casual dating to queerplatonic partnerships, married couples living separately to those who are single by choice, we're diving into the many ways to do relationships – and how to find what works for you. We're having our first official fivesome as we chat with the crew over at Multiamory about everything from the evolving nature of love in modern society, how to look at relationship milestones differently, and the many ways to customize your relationships. Plus we hear all about how their relationship(s) with each other have completely changed over the years – getting them to where...

We're catching up as we talk about a situation of 'should you tell them or not' when you know something about their relationship but you're not sure if it's your place to share. We're also chatting about a new dating app that caters to foodies and debate if this is a good idea for a first date. And of course, we answer a listener question about love bombing and what's the difference of showing a lot of interest vs. being over the top. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on...

Reality check: You can find love at any age. And often times the BEST relationships happen "later in life" (which for the record is definitely subjective) We're diving in with our guest Sandy Weiner who shares her own story and those of her clients. We're discussing why age should not deter you from dating, the different complexities that come from meeting someone when you may be more established / independent, and how to shift from a scarcity to abundance mindset no matter what age you are.

To learn more about Sandy, follow her @lastfirstdate1, listen to 'Last First...

Nothing is worse than when you have a seemingly great first date...and then the next one just never happens. Whether they ghost, tell you there wasn't a connection, or whatever other excuse comes up, it can be so damn confusing! We're diving into why this happens – from the reasons that come with dating to what could be personal to the person. We also recount dates of our own where we thought the connection was going somewhere and the real reason we uncovered for them not wanting to see us again. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your tho...

The #1 thing we hear is: But I don't want to waste time. We feel you! Time is our most valuable asset and nothing feels more discouraging than spinning your wheels when dating without results. But what are the perceived time wasters versus the true ones? We're diving into the areas that we believe are the hidden time sucks, how to maximize and preserve your energy on everything from dating apps to events where you meet people IRL, and the productivity hack everyone needs when deciding how to take action.

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Grab your mimosas, we got a good one as we chat about why you can be great on paper, attractive, the whole nine yards – yet still have trouble attracting people to date. We're also debating a question around your boyfriend sleeping with a friend and how travel really shows if you can make a relationship work. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on Spotify or YouTube now! Also don't forget to take our poll on Spotify + Instagram

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW...

Were you, you? Were you radically honest with yourself? Did you seek wisdom? We're back with a fave return guest, Marni Battista to talk about how to live your most radical life – especially when it comes to dating and having relationships. We're discussing why deviating from the 'white picket fence' ideals can help you find true joy, what it really means to date as your authentic self, and how to reinvent yourself – no matter your age, relationship status, or stage of life.

To learn more about Marni, follow her @marnibattista_, visit https://marnibattista.com/, and listen to 'Life...

We don't know about you, but we're sick of all the negativity – always looking for every last red flag out there. So we're flipping the script and discussing the green flags to look for on a first date. We're also sharing some wait...what? moments and also responding with a text to send message around what to do when you want to see someone again. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on Spotify or YouTube now! Also don't forget to take our poll on Spotify + Instagram

Take the Dat...

We always wonder...how do I know if someone is right for me? Yue's breaking down her recent analogy that gives you a good gut check when dating to see if someone could be a good partner for you. She shares what she's learned over the years – and how she was able to find a partner that compliments her in all the right ways. Bottoms up!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out...

We're talking about a different relationship today: friendship! Not only how your friends can be there to support you while dating – but more importantly, the immense value this type of relationship brings in itself. We're talking with friendship expert Danielle Bayard Jackson about everything from why friends are so important for our mental health, navigating the different stages of friendship, and how to help your friends in a way that truly supports them. We're also talking about the challenging sides of friendship: friend breakups, being excluded, or feeling alone as friends move on. Share this episode with a bestie an...

Do you have a tendency to overthink dating situations? What's the healthy line of thinking things through to be intentional and even cautious – but not to the point of analysis paralysis or driving ourselves crazy thinking about what *could* happen? We unpack the major difference in this episode – how to lean into Thinker ways so it serves you, but also make sure you are taking action in your love life. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on Spotify or YouTube now! Also don't forget to take our poll on Spotify + Instag...

We have a confession: we have a love / hate relationship with the word flirting. But we absolutely loved the energy of our guest Benjamin Camras aka the gay libra aka the flirt coach – and he 100% changed our outlook of what flirting can look like. We discuss how to flirt in a way that feels natural (even the introverted or socially anxious folks, we see you!), the biggest misperceptions of flirting, and how to start amping up your text game and how you are on dates to bring back some of the fun and flirty energy to dating that's missing now...

Dun. Dun. Dun. It's about to get creepy...or maybe just cringy as we talk about all things exes: what's your reaction to finding out your ex is engaged, what happens when you run into an ex, and the case for rebound relationships. Join us as we dish and unpack what it means to move on....and when your ex moves on. Enjoy!

Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on Spotify or YouTube now! Also don't forget to take our poll on Spotify + Instagram

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We've talked about dating in your 20s and 30s....but now we're diving into dating in your 40s – and beyond. We're joined with return guest Kimmy Seltzer who shares her insights as a dating coach and her own personal journey from divorce to self-discovery in 'the second act' as she likes to call it. We're discussing the more divergent differences of lifestyle that happen when dating in your 40s+, the different expectations in dating that come in each decade, and why dating "later in life" can be absolutely terrific if you let it be.

To learn more abo...

With so much discourse lately around the gender divide of men and women, we wanted to share our POV a bit more and open up the convo more on Dateable. From the recent Wall Street Journal articles of Why Women Are Giving Up on Marriage to the popular Diary of a CEO's masculinity discussion, it's no mystery that both genders are feeling discouraged. So what do we do about it? How do we raise the EQ (emotional intelligence) and stop the dynamics that are happening today? Listen today and share your thoughts via email, or leave a message on...

We're back with a topic that's near and dear to our hearts: how to know if the person you're dating is right for you. We're giving you the ultimate gut-check so you know who to keep investing more time and energy into – and when to cut someone loose. We're discussing the only 7 things that matter when evaluating a partner, what to do when if someone isn't measuring up, and how you can use this not just during early dating but through all stages of your love life.

Get OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com...

We got a meaty one for you today....as we're talk about the best (and WORST) ways to ask someone out, the system to rejection-proof yourself, and how to get your friends to play matchmaker (that goes beyond, you're both single, you should meet). We're also recapping some of our 'How to Be Dateable' book events from last week with some of the popular questions asked, balancing alcohol consumption on dates, and why the last thing anyone needs is an AI girlfriend. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE...

Who else is ready to heal their relational trauma, become securely attached, and attract their available dream partner? We're feeling inspired by the convo we had with Dr. Morgan Anderson about how she did just that – and how she had get vulnerable in the process. We're discussing the anxious or avoidant patterns that protects us from vulnerability, how to share your needs and boundaries in a way that actually brings someone closer, and why it's time for everyone to learn the true definition of vulnerability and show their v-card!

TW: We discuss domestic abuse briefly

Fol...

Can we all make a pact? Can we just opt out of situationships as it seems like a lot of people are starting to do? We're discussing why situationships happen, why people won't commit, and how they actually destroy our self-esteem causing small cuts of rejection over and over (instead of just getting our answer or ripping that bandaid off!) Whether you're currently in a situationship or avoiding them like the plague, this #brunchtalk will leave you inspired to ask for more out of your love life. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/<...

We’re talking breakups…but more importantly how to move forward, and not only reclaim your life…but live an even better one. And we are joined with our fantastic guest Cole Zesiger who has been through it himself – only to come out stronger, coach others, and meet the love of his life (his now wife). We're discussing the do's and don't of no contact, ways to spot if someone may not really be ready for a relationship (and break your heart later on), and how to know when it's time to move forward or try again with your ex.

If you're anything like us, we've been obsessed with The White Lotus as we head into the big finale. So much that we've decided to analyze the relationship patterns of all the major characters....with our dating archetypes of course! We also talk about girl (or guy) code around hooking up with someone your friend was kind of into or you suggested they get with (i.e the Jaclyn to Laurie saga) and what's right/wrong/or can be read to interpret differently. And of course when you do actually hook up with the guy and immediately after you're...

This is a question we often get but we never thought we'd get it from America's favorite stepmom aka porn star Ryan Keely (who you may even recognize from Eminem's Houdini music video). But this shows you that ANYONE can feel this way! We're diving into what makes people feel undateable, the impacts of being oversexualized (or undersexualized), and the actual thing that does limit your dating options (and nope, it's probably the thing you're thinking it is).

Follow Ryan @ryankeelytm and check out her podcast 'I Seduce The Dragon' wherever you listen.

Want to...

This weeks's brunch talk has us all hopped up as we chat about surprising results from our archetypes quiz that are counter to how we all *think* people are dating, plus the ultimate way to say you're not interested in someone. Not going to lie, this may have been one of our favorite brunchtalks in awhile as we were doing it live (and maybe sound like we've had a bottle of champagne or two, but swear we are completely sober.) You'll learn something, you'll laugh, maybe even question when someone says there's something up with their stomach...enjoy!

We're back with the guest of our #1 most listened to episode and this time with his mentor for more insights...more science...and more facts – that you can all apply to your love lives. We're chatting with Paul Eastwick & Eli Finkle, professors at UC Davis & Northwestern, about what romcoms get right (and wrong) about finding love, the myths of relationships we've been told to believe, and how to reevaluate societal expectations around compatibility.

Check out their podcast 'Love Factually'. For more info on Eli, visit: https://elifinkel.com/. To learn more about Paul: https://pauleastwick.com/

...

With all the buzz about dating intentionally...what does it even mean? Because we've seen some definitions that aren't helping – and may actually be limiting us – in the way we think about putting our best foot forward when dating. We talk about surprise run-ins with Dateable listeners, if it's even possible to use dating apps intentionally, and why it may be more intentional to get rid of people who you know AREN'T the real deal instead of try to set up intentional boundaries with them. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO...

How ready are you for a relationship? Like truly ready? We're diving into what it means to actually be ready for a real, long-term committed relationship – and how you can spot if someone else is too. We're discussing the signs of relationship readiness, the red flags to watch out for, and how you can find out your relationship readiness score to become more relationship ready.

Take the Relationship Readiness Assessment: https://www.dateablepodcast.com/relationship-readiness

And of course, the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: htt...

There's so much to unpack this week as we chat about everything from air fryers to Mark Zuckerberg's mid-life crisis. But most importantly, it brings us to the age old question: how many people should you date at once? And when is it better to date one at a time versus multiple people. We're going in deep as we dissect when to disclose you're sleeping with others, when to double down on someone versus playing the field, and what to do when you're still unsure and feeling lukewarm about someone. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now...

You’ve probably seen his quotes all over the internet or maybe read one of his many bestselling books but we have the man behind it all Diego Perez aka Yung Pueblo here to share how to love better and treat love like the skill it truly is. We're discussing the three green flags to look out for in a relationship, why attachment is the greatest enemy of love, and how to lean into the growth that inevitably comes through any type of relationship – no matter how long or serious it may be.

Learn more about Diego at @y...

We're back together chatting about a relevant topic: burnout. Whether it's from dating or just life in general, we're discussing the stages of burnout and how we can minimize going over stage 4 and not having toxic hope, but actual hope, throughout the dating process. We're also chatting about bachelorette parties, wedding dress hacks, the definition of a term that will be banned from our vocab, and so much more! Enjoy.

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast...

It's so hard to not be focused on the milestones, but Julie had a reality check recently that she wanted to share on this quickie with you. Because as Dr. Laurie Santos discussed in this week's episode the arrival fallacy is exactly that – a fallacy. And the reality is that we're never out of the middle (even if we've hit said milestones), so do we not just embrace the middle, but truly enjoy it.

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/

F...

Do relationships make us happy? If so, why are unmarried and childless women the most happy cohort of people out there? Because happiness is more than milestones as we chat with Dr. Laurie Santos about the complexities and common misperceptions when it comes to our overall well-being. And that's certainly not to say social connection and relationships aren't important! We'll dive into the U-shaped happiness curve, the way to enhance personal happiness while dating, and how to shift your focus to nurture your overall well being regardless of your relationship status.

Learn more about Laurie at @lauriesantosofficial...

We're chatting over brunch recapping some of our SF together time, from dinners out together with friends to the types of questions we got from daters at our book launch events. We're talking about the only hack for having better dates, the benefits that come from finding your person "later" on, and how sending that text may lead to that second date (or if nothing else, the answers you need to move the f on). Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable...

If you feel like you've had a string of *almost* relationships that haven't quite turned into the real deal, then this one's for you! We're chatting with Ali Jackson about her journey through the world of dating – from when she was documenting all her dates in Notion to meeting her now-boyfriend. We discuss the various forms of not-quite-relationships, the foolproof way to know if someone is on the same page as you, and how to stay optimistic (yet realistic) about dating.

Learn more about Ali at @findingmrheight and check out her podcast 'Finding Mr. Height' wherever you lis...

We're catching up after a whirlwind trip to LA discussing how we failed on the brunch front but had one heck of a time at our first book launch event. We take a trip down memory lane recapping some of our past events that resulted in concussions and almost shattered doors with the tech elite, the real problem with dating, and thoughts around the taxi cab theory if it really just comes down to if their light is on and they're ready for something real. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

...

From talking about money on early dates to navigating the complexities of managing finances within a relationship, we're diving into it all with Netflix host and best-selling author Ramit Sethi. We chat about the four money types, the dynamics when there are different financial habits, earnings, and contributions, and how to create a shared vision for your financial future to build a 'rich life' either on your own or with a partner.

Learn more about Ramit at @ramit and check out his book and podcast MONEY FOR COUPLES and everything else you need to know here: https...

We're dishing over brunch around the decline in dating apps, the alternatives for daters, and also when to know if you're ready to date again after ending a relationship. Enjoy!

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.